I always thought and the people around me for the most part seem to agree that the registry gifts are for the shower. (all needs from mixing spoons to china) but recently my bridesmaid said this is tacky and that the registry gifts are only fancy china and crystal for the engagement party and wedding gifts and that people only give one gift total and that you cannot have both a shower and a engagement party..and that the shower is only for mixing spoons and exchanges of recipes?
Originally, I did not want an engagement party but my FMIL wants one and its more like a casual family get together in the his backyard. I have like 20 people and FH has 80 people. Everyone is really excited on his side. (my side too - but -his side is the majority-so I am going with that feedback more- if that makes sense?!) They say engagement parties are what they do and and its like a family reunion. So, guest may give money for the engagement party, gifts at the shower based on the registry and money for the wedding., I have not been to that many weddings but they had registry for shower and then money at wedding. ... fewer engagement parties though... and it seems like i am doing the norm, no? i am doubting myself now- i do not want to seem greedy or tacky. : (
: o/
Feedback appreciated!
malagian
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
i registered some items before my engagent party since some of my family wanted to get us gifts. PS i only got like 2 the rest was $$$$. I dont think its tacky, it just gives your guests and option. Only tell them you are regitered if they ask thats what i did.
AeroJenn
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
This is NOT true. Many many many people have both an e-party and a shower. Registry items are for everything -- I registered before my e-party, so we recieved things off our registry as gifts for our engagement party (we received $$$ also, it depended on the guest). Registry items (ANY kind....china, spoons, pots, pans, etc.) are ALWAYS given at showers. And some people even choose to give registry items to the bride and groom at the wedding instead of cash/money.
There are some people who will give a shower gift and then not give a wedding gift -- however, this is not a common practice. Most people will give gifts for each party seperately.
You arent greedy or tacky if you want to have both an e-party and a shower....its pretty much the norm. Do what YOU want to do. Dont listen to your BM....she's talking out of her @ss.
july06bride
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
registry items are for everything...
we did not opt to have an e-party because it is not done in our families, but people will give you $$ or will buy you registry gifts.
BunnyBears
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
thanks everyone! fast responses!!
jteach711
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
My e-party is June 16th and we are not registering. We could really use some cash to help for the wedding and if someone wants to get us a gift instead thats fine. I will be registering for my shower
Heather1
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
It's up to the couple and how the families normally do things. I had my engagement party this past July and didn't register and received mostly money. But that is normal with both my and FH's families. I will be registering for my shower. You absolutely can do both.
FullersBride
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
I got engaged 7/06 and we are getting married 7/07 so I had just about a year to plan everything. I registered for the wedding around October and had my engagement party in November. Most people asked when they got hte invitation where I was registered and I got a lot of gifts off the registry. Both my FH and my family purchased Christmas gifts off the registry and I expect to get stuuf for the shower and our Birthdays (June, and July). I feel like having the registry done ahead of time is allowing us the chance to have a pretty nice sized registry and a good chance of getting everything off of it. It's nice to be getting stuff off the registry for other occassions otgher than the shower and wedding because it has made the whole year more wedding oriented. JMO
DCSAAB06
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
I didnt register for my e-party. Reason was because we were waiting about 2yrs for the wedding, and I had the e-party about 3 months after engagement. We had no clue what we needed so we opted not to and let people decide what they wanted to give.
mbg1007
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
There is nothing wrong with having both and registering before your engagement party. Plenty of people have both showers and engagement parties and most people I know registered before their enagement parties. This way people who want to give you a gift and are going to even if you didnt have a registry can look to see what you want. There arent any rules to when you get what, Ive seen people get china at their shower and mixing spoons at their engagement parties
ZeppsGirl
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Re: registry for shower or engagement party?
WOw I never heard of that Maybe in a traditional sense it was like that.
My brother had his engagement party and invited EVERYONE we had a blast. But because of feeling bad that people gave them so many gifts and not expecting it to be that big....we are having a smaller, intimate bridal shower....for the people that know his FW the best.
I like this idea. But if you want go all out both ways. You have my support and Ill back you up against your informants of bad news!!!!!!
I think that now people know that engaged couples have both....but if it is a money issue or you feel bad then have your small engagement party...and then have a bridal shower.
