How many of you had input for the rehearsal dinner?
FMIL wants us to 'throw her the bone' etiquette says she deserves and let her throw a fancy, sit-down dinner
WE don't want a fancy sit-down dinner the night before an even bigger fancy, sit-down dinner- we want a fun activity night adults and kids can mingle and enjoy- let off some jitters/stress and go home with some good memories...
xosweetiexo
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
If she's paying... then why not LOL!! I wish our parents would say that they are paying for the rehearsal dinner... that would be one less thing to pay for. It can be a sit-down.... but hopefully it can be more layed back with drinks and fun stories
lizzie217
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
Well if she is paying then I would feel wierd telling her no...this is just me
GinaMike24
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
why not just explain what you want to her....so what if she is paying. She cannot dictate how YOUR rehearsal dinner should be. That is why I tell FH i rather do everything ourselves than have people help and try to run it!!
MrsKtoBe
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
JMO but even if you are justified in not wanting the big expensive dinner, i dont think there is a tactful way to tell her that without sounding really bridezilla. Sorry, my mom is an etiquette fanatic, thats what she would tell me.
Shelleybean11
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
We planned the dinner ourselves and IL just covered the costs, but this is because we thought we would be paying for it ourselves. If you know off the bat that your FMIL will be hosting the dinner than I think you should give her the reigns on this one IMO. It will be less planning that you will have to worry about!
LeeAnne
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
we are paying so we are planning
VickiR510
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
My FIL's are paying for the RD and yes its a sit down & all of the OOT are invited as well so we are having a party before the party! Crazy but hey they are paying so what ever they want. It sone less thing to worry about in my opinion. lol
If you have something else in mind I would pose it to her as a suggestion, but hey if she's payin for it why worry about a thing>
gina409
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
i would talk to her if u agree and then she finds out later thats not what u wanted she might feel hurt
hogie2be
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
I wish I could just let it go- but I feel like this is the beginning of the end, if she doesn't respect our wishes now, the rest of the marriage she will try to walk all over us because of etiquette or respect or whatever...
Is that crazy?
twoifbysea
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
Posted by hogie2be
I wish I could just let it go- but I feel like this is the beginning of the end, if she doesn't respect our wishes now, the rest of the marriage she will try to walk all over us because of etiquette or respect or whatever...
Is that crazy?
Well, she wants to do something nice for you that she thinks will be memorable and special. I wouldn't 'look a gift horse in the mouth' as my mother would say. My FMIL plans to host the rehearsal dinner at a country club which is a good 45 minutes away from the church. It'll be pain in the neck for some people, but she's paying, so I'm keeping my mouth zipped.
In-laws hosting the RD is their way of being part of the wedding planning. So much is revolved around the bride and the bride's family, it's a chance for the groom's parents to contribute.
lauraandrob2009
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
Since they are paying, i think you need to respect what they'd like.
FCsBride914
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
If I were you, I'd sit down and talk to her. Tell her that you appriecate the fact that she wants to 'pick up the tab' but you have a vision for your wedding day and a fancy rehearsal isn't in it. I am a very straight forward person, so I would tell her as nice as possible without hurting her feelings.
If you and FH feel the same way, you should both talk to her. If she really has a problem going your way, then (if you can) pay for it on your own and do it all your way. It's a sticky situation because if your FMIL is very sensitive, she may get offended.
We had our RD at my moms house. I thought it was a tacky idea, but it turned out to be great! I was so comfortable there and so were all my guests. My mom and grandma did all the cooking for it. After most of the guests left, DH, me and some friends hung aroung and had drinks, talked and relaxed. Maybe you can bring up an idea like this to her.
Hope this helps and I'm sorry that your in this sticky situation. I know MIL's came be a pain!
MrsInglima
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner- FMIL
My FMIL swore she would pay for a dinner. Then it gets time to plan it and she says she doesn't have the money and it was too last minute to save for something. So my family is cooking for 30+ people and having everyone over my parents house. If I could get what I wanted I would have a fancy sit down dinner at a really nice restaurant. I know it's not what you wanted, but be happy she's paying and don't worry about what happens. You don't need to worry about planning and being in charge of another thing and playing hostess two days straight. Let someone else take care of it, relax, and have a good time.
