Rehersal Dinner Q's

Okay so I have a few questions.
1. Who gets invited to the rehersal dinner? Obviously the bridal party and their guests, Mom, dads, brothers, sisters.....Any other family members?

2. Is it really lame to have the church rehersal on one night and then the actual dinner a different night?

3. Who pays for the RD? Is it my parents, or FH's parents? FMIL had mentioned about a 'nice bbq' and not for nothing I want it a place. It doesnt have to be fancy or anything....
How do I mention that? And how to I bring up that they pay for it (if its their 'job'?)

Ummmmmmmm thats all the ??'s for now

Okay so I have a few questions.
1. Who gets invited to the rehersal dinner? Obviously the bridal party and their guests, Mom, dads, brothers, sisters.....Any other family members?

*whoever you want to invite.. can be all OOT guests, immed fam, bridal party.. combo of the above

2. Is it really lame to have the church rehersal on one night and then the actual dinner a different night?

*totally not lame, acutally keeps the cost down somewhate b/c most oot guests won' tbe there to attend... thats what one of my friends gettign married in oct is doing.. having the RD fri, wedding sunday.. (also its good if the bride and/or groom has a sensitive tummy like me or my buddies getting married in Oct... anything can set it off.. and the day after is miserable.. imagine that day being ur wedding day? sorry if tmi!)

3. Who pays for the RD? Is it my parents, or FH's parents? FMIL had mentioned about a 'nice bbq' and not for nothing I want it a place. It doesnt have to be fancy or anything....
How do I mention that? And how to I bring up that they pay for it (if its their 'job'?)

* its technically the parents of the groom who pays, however these days theres such lack of tradition due to financial standings of all parties... so if they offer wahooooo! .. if not... you can def. try to keep it low key at a nice restraunt (ie... beachtree cafe, riverview, snapper inn, irish coffee pub are just a few we considered)


my fmil/ffil offered to pay for the RD, and just this week i decdided i didnt want to have one (i hope they offer that $ elsewhere b/c we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves!)... i hope FH told them ... our wedding is saturday morn 1130 ceremony... so the night before is not happening gotta be up at 5 am... and the day before or week before isn't poss b/c half the wedding party is OOT... and so is the Inlaws... aw well! ill just have food with my guests downstairs then bolt.. no long drawn out dinner to tend too.. i dont want formal b/c of the time i have to get up
HTH you a little , but i totally babbled!

'Traditionally', the grooms side pays for the RD...but how much of wedding planning is done traditionally these days.
I think it depends on where your financial backing is coming from.....if your FH's parents are giving you a ton of money (just because they may have it), it may be a part of the wedding that your side might want to pick up just to feel that they contributed (if they want).... Or, if you want it a certain way, you might want to pick up the tab yourself. My FILs are paying for ours. They are VERY VERY old fashioned. They also already put us on a ridiculously LOW (not to mention unrealistic) budget. (They said no more than $20 per person) Which isn't too easy to find a place for...but, they're paying, so i'm not sure how much I want to argue it... but, what are you gonna do.
As far as the other Qs, I would keep both the church part and the dinner part on the same day.....just to make it easier on the people coming. This way they don't kill two nights traveling to where ever the church/restaurant are located.
Those that are typically invited are the BP members and spouses, parents, grandparents and any OOT guests that will be in town that night. (It may be better to have the RD 2 nights before if you're trying to keep it smaller and have a LOT of OOT Guests) JMO

GOOD LUCK!!

As for invites you 'have to' invite parents, grand parents, siblings and the bridal party (you don't have to invite bp's guests, especially if they aren't married). I know a lot of people invite the officiant/priest, God parents, those giving readings and some OOT guests.

Traditionally the groom's parents pay but who is really traditional these days? I guess what I am saying is that there is no guarantee that they will pay and aren't truly obligated.

I think your time of year is the best excuse not to have a bbq...how are you going to have a bbq at the end of November? You can also say that the holidays would be too much of a strain on her to also host a dinner in her home

Oh yeah I forgot about my out of town BM's....there are 2 of them. So I guess my best bet would be to have the RD the night before my wedding.
God planning a wedding stinks!!!