I was raised Catholic but am not actively practicing, meaning I don't attend church. My fiance's family is Jewish, but he is not at all religious. We are okay with getting married outside, and in a lot of ways, we feel that it would make for a smoother schedule on our wedding day.
That said, my family is religious and they do not like the idea of an outdoor ceremony, and don't condone it, as it is not recognized by the church. I want to honor my family, and I do agree with them on some level, but at the same time, shouldn't we just do what we want? It's easy to say, but I feel guilty at the same time.
Anyone experiencing the same thing?
cdh2672
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Re: Religious vs outdoor ceremony
Yes I have experience with this. You should do what YOU want to do, and what you feel is right for you and your FH. My sister had a wonderful outside ceremony when she married her Jewish husband. It was perfect Good luck!
daniekinz
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Re: Religious vs outdoor ceremony
i so know how you feel. experiencing the same thing. i'm thinking of doing the best of both worlds. which is 2 ceremonies.
my brother did this. married in the catholic church the day before...and got married in a hotel with his (now) wife's minister. only our close family attended the catholic wedding.
i'm thinking church wedding day before, outdoor wedding for the big day. still undecided though.
NYtherapist
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Re: Religious vs outdoor ceremony
We're in the same situation. Fh is Catholic; I am Jewish. While his mother would have liked for us to be married in a church, that was absolutely not going to happen. Our ceremony will be on the grounds of our RH and performed by a rabbi and a priest.
kroert
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Re: Religious vs outdoor ceremony
It really is an annoying situation. My fiance doesn't mind getting married in a church, and we've agreed to raise our children Catholic. I just think it would make our day go easier to actually get married at the hall, and I do think it would be nice for the people in his family who are religious.
JAAMS
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Re: Religious vs outdoor ceremony
We were in the same situation as you. We thought it would be easier to have everything in one place. We originally booked our ceremony at the RH, and then about 3 months before the wedding, I panicked. I started thinking about the fact that if we were going to raise our children Catholic, why wouldn't we want to start off our family by honoring the sacrament of Holy Matrimony and how the most important part of the day is the ceremony, so we should really be doing what is important to us. I thought about that fact (that the ceremony is the heart of the day) plus how I wanted out marriage to develop in the future, and we switched to a church- it was absolute pandemonium switching that close to the wedding date and I had quite a few sleepless nights because of it!
Ultimately, think about where you see yourselves in the future religiously and how you want your ceremony to go. Don't get married at the RH because it's easier for people, and don't get married at a church because other people want you to. It's the most important part of the day- do what is true, honest, respectful, and beautiful to you both.
FutureMrsPanuch
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Re: Religious vs outdoor ceremony
We were in the same situation as you, im Jewish and DH is Catholic. We actually had a monsignor for DH and a Rabbi for me. We got married at our RH and for FH the ceremony was valid in the Catholic Church. We went through all the steps needed as if we were getting married in the church, and BOTH sides were absolutly THRILLED with the ceremony! People still tell us how beautiful the ceremony was...
