repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
oakslady
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repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
ok i talked to one of my oldest friends today about whether or not she is comming to the wedding mind you this is for 5 people ( her, her husband and the 3 kids) well she so very casually tells me well i have other addresses for you too - my boss wants to come and one of my coworkers so i will give you their addresses so you can send them invites. i was blown away! how the h*ll do you invite other people to someone else's wedding ???? she never even asked me if she could - she just presumed it was fine to add 6 more people on besides her family. i am like totally floored - i tell her i cant invite other people i dont even know !!!! i am thinking about cutting family to keep the costs down ( it seems alot more people will actually come than i thought - like my 12 cousins from california didnt even count them in my possibles till i got a call from them saying they saved the date and will be here !) so i tell her how am i going to tell family that they cant come but i have space for 6 people i dont know? then i ask her if they planned on covering these folks plates at the wedding - she was like what does that mean ? ( you have to be kidding right who doesnt know what that means?) and i quite politely tell her that that means paying for what it would cost me to add these extra 6 people i dont know to the guest list - and she is like ohhh and how much would that be ??? like over $400.00 and she is like - oh ... no. i am totally wanting to strangle her what the hell ???? so she then tells me her new boss is also a wedding planner and she wants to come to like steal all my ideas you have got to be kidding me!!!!!! i am trying to find a polite way to tell her not to invite people to MY wedding, but so far all i want to do is yell at her. the top of the cake is she tells me to call her tonight ( she rushed off the phone after this bombshell cause she was at work ) so i figured we would talk about it tonight well when i call she rushes off the phone to catch american idol tells me to call back at 9 and then doesnt answer the phone!!!!!! what can someone be thinking to invite other people to someone else's wedding? insite please gals i am about to loose my mind here. HELP
samsbride
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
Ok - you have a right to be upset and it's fine if you just want to vent (trust me - I'd be venting a ton if this happened to me!!!)
However, you know what you have to do. there is no easy answer and nobody can give you a diplomatic way to handle someone like this!!!
Tell her very clearly that she is invited with however many guests YOU intended for her to bring. You made your case to us with no problem and I don't think you should be concerned with being delicate since your friend needs to be hit over the head with this before she gets it.
You post was very clear and I don't know why you would need to elaborate any further (Honestly - all you have to say is NO and that's it. Your explanation is really unnecessary)
sorry this happened to you. My blood would be boiling.
oakslady
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
i sent her an email telling her not to invite strange people to my wedding they cant come and that i have to know what she was thinking .... i have just never heard of anything like that before - has this happened to anyone else or is it just me? probably just me right? ( why do i have all the winners in my circle???)
Smolokoff
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
If that were me, I might have room for 5 more people on my guest list! If someone pulled junk like that, I'm not sure they would even be invited anymore, let alone their other people. She's got some set!!!
wenndypoo
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
OMG!!!! FOR REAL???? This takes the cake, seriously!
This girl has nerve beyond belief. I am all for diplomacy and politeness, but this girl doesn't deserve it. Like Samsbride says, she needs to be hit over the head with this. Absolutley 100% unacceptable and inexcusable. You have every right to be p'd off, and to tell her that in no uncertain terms, and do not feel bad about it! You are a better woman than I am. I would've lost all control
Sheesh, just when you think you've heard it all....
Is this girl from NY?
MrsBrad
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
UMMMM WHAT!!!
Why would someone have the nerve to do that? I was getting mad at ppl who invited themselves, but now there are people inviting their friends! Why would strangers want to barge in your private day.
I am sooo sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck and keep us posted!
Kriss2c
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
That's ridiculous!!! You have every right to tell her no and I think that you handled it well. I would have flipped out completely!!
As far as her boss, the wedding planner.... a good wedding planner should know that asking your friend for such a favor is soooo not right ....and unprofessional. Tell your friend that if her boss has any questions, the boss should contact you directly.
LIJuneBride
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
How rude!!! I would just tell her not to give you the addresses because you cannot invite any more people. Just say NO! She'll say why, and you tell her because it's my wedding, not yours, and I'm not inviting people I don't know. No further explanation needed.
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
i wouldnt let ut stress me so much. just tell her she will have to tel her co workers that they cant come. that was really rude of her but its not worth getting yourself over.
brideinapril
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
That is beyond arrogant, how dare she tell you she's inviting strangers to your wedding!!!! I have never heard of nor would I ever think of asking a bride if I could invite people the bride doesn't even know or care about!!! OHHHHH I'm so mad for you!!!!!!
janet
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
i had this happen to me from dh cousin. their friends(who we barly knew) asked 1 week before the weding if they could come. (they asked dh) and he said sure why not in a joking kinda way. they next day i get a phone call from his cousin asking me if they should bring money or a check and i asked her what she was talking about(dh heard it about this i almost killed him for not telling me) i then said i had no idea this was said.. i was put in a rock and a hard place.... to make along story short they did come and it was fine having them there but i know how you feel. we did at one point said that his cousin for her to pay for them... i felt bad that they we so happy to be comming and then have to tell them no. as for you i would not let them come... jmo you don't know them at all i at least knew who they where.... tell her sorry but no way are they comming and if they do show up they are paying for them selfs! and i would let the hall know too if it comes down to it! they are uninvited guest here please handle it or tell them make sure they get their money from the unwanted not you! good luck!
oakslady
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
yes she is from ny origionally but moved to va a few years back - it is like all her sense drained out of her head - - i am stil waiting to hear back from the email i sent - and to be honest i totally expect a huge drama over this , but i guess that is life - if it wasnt for my goddaughter i would tell her to stay home !
sweetadeline
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
This person sounds totally bananas. Just say no!
FLaCaTaCa
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
I have never ever heard of such a thing. Wow!!!! Put your foot down!!! No way can guests invite more guests!!!!
JimmysBride
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
OMG!!!!!!! I'm sorry but was she raised by wolves??? Holy crap. That is by far the rudest thing I've ever heard. My jaw is still on the floor. I don't blame you for being mad, upset, venting, whatever!!! You're going to have to be very firm with this one. NO, they are NOT invited! Do not send them an invite either. If the people she's talking about have half a brain, they won't show up at your wedding without an invite. Although.... the idea-stealing wedding planner might....
halloweenbride04
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
Amy, your friend has to realize that this isn't a college party where you can bring whoever, the more the merrier. I think you forego diplomacy and just tell her NO and that you thought it was rude and made you uncomfortable. Shhhhessshhhh.....what are people thinking sometimes?
eogara
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
Honestly, I really think I would have laughed because it would never enter my mind that this would be an actual question! Sorry, I know she's your friend, but she sounds like a moron IMO.
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
Some people have a lot of nerve - I would have told her 'sure they can have YOUR place'
cocoa
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
Posted by Rob-luvs-me
Some people have a lot of nerve - I would have told her 'sure they can have YOUR place'
i wish i could say that for myself...i understand where you are coming from. my aunt and her husband and three kids are invited from california, however her husband isn't coming, but since she will be visiting his sisters, she wants me to invite them, too...hello??????? so i wish i could tell you something magical but i understand...good luck!
JP&EP
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Re: repost from 04 board - i am at a loss for words ....
Wow, she's got a lot of nerve and very little common sense.
