Repost from 05- Kids at the wedding

Alright ladies, I need your help. I just came back from a great lunch with my FH (who by the way, I love completely). Anyway, we got to talking about the wedding and some things that I'd like him to talk to my FMIL about in regards to people we are inviting she may not be too thrilled about and the topic of kids at the wedding.....I thought this was an issue that was done but I'm sensing its not. Bottom line? I don't want kids at the reception. To me, kids changes the whole feel of the wedding and just IMO, for the wedding I've always dreamed about, I can't imagine kids being there. I'm getting married at a formal place and I would like a formal reception. Well, my FH is kind of upset because he is saying that he thinks a lot of people may not come if they cannot bring their kids which is true. We're older now and a lot of our family/friends have had kids so it is possible that they won't come (the people that live out of state) because they can't find babysitters. I've heard though that a lot of these same people probably wouldn't come anyway (expense of flying it, hotel arrangements, etc.) So here's the problem, I really am dead set against kids being there, my family (who is paying for the reception) is against it too. But my FH and I know his mother wants them there thinking that this will make more people come (we need a minimum of 150). I disagree and think that I would rather have less than 150 then children there simply because if we invite one set, then we are inviting about 50+ other children. At $50 a head for children, my parents aren't willing to pay for it so my FH says that we can foot the extra money (which we don't have 2500 laying around)

So, here's where I need help. What do I do? I'm so nervous that when people call as I'm sure they will, his mother will say something like well if it means you can't come then by all means bring your kids, I don't want to have the other families pissed off that they had to arrange for a babysitter just because they didn't ask. Also, in thinking about it, his family isn't very big and its mostly his friends from college that wouldn't be able to make it because of the kids situation, so he may be feeling like he won't have that many people from his family there because they're only inviting like 50 people. Help!!!! (Again, I'm sorry this is so long)

im in the same situation. my fh has a young nephew.

the nephews mother, who is in my bp, sends periodic pics of her son to everyone, including my mom. my mom wrote back 'adorable' to the pic and then FSIL writes back (as if it were the 9 month kid writing) 'i cant wait to be in uncle michael and aunt melissas wedding'

***? i dont want any kids so i kind of am in the same boat.

what about hiring a babysitter or two and renting one room at the hotel - have the kids watch a movie - group babysitting

it might be a good alternative

this way parents can come - but the kids are not at the wedding

other alternative is to say no kids- and if someone says they can't come without kids then help them find a babysitter - help coordinate a group

i agree with you no kids - i am only having my flower girl and that is it

I totally forgot about that! Yes, I could do that! This is why I love you girls!!!!!!!

I am in the same situation, AND we are getting married upstate! We were worried that a lot of people would complain that they can't bring their kids....BUT it turns out that the people with kids are the most excited to dump them with the grandparents and come up for a single weekend!

This was astonishing to me, and we were pleasantly surprised after being so worried. Our hotel also provides baby sitting services for the few that can't part with their little darlings for a day.

I hope you find yourself in a similar situation!

PS: a Saturday night formal wedding is NOT appropriate for children.

That's why God invented babysitters.

I am in a very similar situation, but I am willing to accept that their will be about 3 kids at the wedding - only in my wedding party because FH has a son from a previous marriage and I wouldn't DARE suggest that 'sweet precious' not be invited - seriously - it is his son I can sort of understand. No other kids are invited and I know this may not be to the liking of my FH or his p's since they too love to watch kids run all over the place. I agree - a wedding no matter the day or time is not a place for children.

I will be putting on my invitations (with or without FH's blessing) 'Adult Reception to follow'. The only exceptions again will be the wedding party. I plan on getting some heat from FMIL b/c my FH's brother just married a woman last year with 2 kids from her last marriage and they will not be invited since they are not in the BP. I'm sure my FMIL will be p.o'd that they aren't in the BP, but how can I say this nicely - let's just say I don't want them there. Besides - their grandmother lives in Brooklyn - they can stay there!

If I allowed kids - I may as well have my wedding at Chuck E Cheese - there'd be about 200 kids and 100 adults! I'll be 33 by the time I get married - everyone I know has at least one kid!

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Posted by Mrs.Ptobe

I am in a very similar situation, but I am willing to accept that their will be about 3 kids at the wedding - only in my wedding party because FH has a son from a previous marriage and I wouldn't DARE suggest that 'sweet precious' not be invited - seriously - it is his son I can sort of understand. No other kids are invited and I know this may not be to the liking of my FH or his p's since they too love to watch kids run all over the place. I agree - a wedding no matter the day or time is not a place for children.

I will be putting on my invitations (with or without FH's blessing) 'Adult Reception to follow'. The only exceptions again will be the wedding party. I plan on getting some heat from FMIL b/c my FH's brother just married a woman last year with 2 kids from her last marriage and they will not be invited since they are not in the BP. I'm sure my FMIL will be p.o'd that they aren't in the BP, but how can I say this nicely - let's just say I don't want them there. Besides - their grandmother lives in Brooklyn - they can stay there!

If I allowed kids - I may as well have my wedding at Chuck E Cheese - there'd be about 200 kids and 100 adults! I'll be 33 by the time I get married - everyone I know has at least one kid!

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do you mind if I make a suggestion? Instead of putting on the invite 'adult reception' (people might think there's x-rates stuff planned - LOL) you can address the invites to Mr & Mrs Smith and in the inner envelope write John & Mary Smith. That's a pretty clear indication that their kids are not invited.