Hi all- so we have kind of decided not to have a bridal party for numerous reasons- but decided that we do want to do MOH and BM... FI says that he may ask his 'best friend' (who treats him terribly and uses him, as well as having had a MAJOR fight with me last year) to be his BM- instead of his brother!!! I told him that I am so not okay with this person who is not 100% supportive, reliable, etc. to be a part of our wedding in such an involved way...
Then I realized that I should just let it go, but what do I do? I think that for this guy to be BM would make me really unhappy- he is really a jerk!!
And also- how do I pick my MOH???
Sorry to ramble- just overwhelmed!!
Thank you for all of your great advice- I left FI to think about this on his own and he chose his brother. YAY! Now if I could just decide between my 2 cousins for MOH...
Anyway, thanks!
jimmysgrl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost from '06: BRIDAL PARTY PROBLEM
That's a tricky one. I have to wonder why your FH wants to have him in it if there is so much drama surrounding him. As for picking your MOH, its a matter of knowing who you are closset to, who is going to be in your life in 20 years, who you think will be genuinely happy and nice to you during your entire planning, and who you could rely on no matter what. Its a hard one about the BM and I only wonder how his brother may feel if he was un-asked
buggiegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost from '06: BRIDAL PARTY PROBLEM
Thank you- I wonder as well, but this guy has been his friend since 1st grade. I think FH is trying to hold on to that...
Hopefully he will make the right choice:) I just have to have faith in him!!
dpli
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost from '06: BRIDAL PARTY PROBLEM
I can tell you that at the time of one of my brother's weddings, my 2 brothers were not on great terms and the one getting married told me that he considered not asking the other to be his BM. I told him that I thought it was a bad idea, and that it would really hurt my other brother deeply to be overlooked. He did ask my other brother, and I think it helped mend some of the trouble at the time.
IMO, family will always be there, but friends don't always last. Unless they have a horrible relationship, I would encourage him to ask his brother.
If you don't have a sister, ask someone close to you, and it might help if it is someone responsible that will help with planning. I only had a MOH, which I don't regret, I just wish she had been a little more interested in doing wedding related things with me.
neesiepie
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost from '06: BRIDAL PARTY PROBLEM
IMO....go with family over friends. Family is there and will be there no matter what. Friends fade in and out at different times during your life. Someone you may be really close with today may not even be around in a year. I know, b/c I experienced this first-hand. I picked a friend for my BM and she hasnt called me in months.... Good luck!
steelersforlife
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost from '06: BRIDAL PARTY PROBLEM
I agree with what everyone else said. I once tried to encourage my FH to distance himself from a friend he had from his Navy days and it caused a major uproar. He realized on his own terms and in his own way that this person was not a great friend. I think your FH will realize this as the wedding draws near and he needs to depend on this guy.
