Repost from BHB.. Sorry but venting because Im really angry right now...

NEW Okay girls here's a how would you feel question for ya...

DH was told by his brother who got married over a year ago that his wife pulled up old posts of mine where I was complaining about them and my inlaws(NO NAMES were used of course)and was pissed about all my vents!! She also printed all my old posts and called my mother in law and told her about my vents about my inlaws. Now these posts are from around when they got married over a year ago so why all of the sudden were they pulled up. Correct me if Im wrong but FBIL says that this is a free site(right)and if you open a post my picture is there so they know my screen name(okay true!) However ladies, you would need to put my screen name in search and pull up my almost 1700 posts and go through each and everyone and Im a member from 03 so you'd have alot to search through before finding vents about them. So if this was you and you didnt speak to your SIL for almost a year wouldn't you feel that she was just stirring up trouble for no reason?? Wouldnt you consider it invading my privacy to print these out and giving them to my in laws who I also havent been speaking to in almost a year?? I understand that this stuff is there and anyone can pull it up but if your not talking to that individual and are already married and not a posting member to go through someones history is nosey and IMO just to cause trouble. What do you think? Iam truly embarrassed that my thoughts and vents were read but I dont apologize for the things I said. Talking to you ladies and getting advice is my personal way of venting without causing hard feelings or swaying feelings with family members or friends who know all the parties involved. IMO how dare anyone use my personal feelings to have their own personal gain by creating more a poor situation within the family. What do you think? Please tell me if Im wrong for being upset, like I said this isnt stuff she just came about she went digging and them called my inlaws. Should I leave LIW?? Should I start pointing things out to family instead of discussing it with people not involved?? Please tell me what you think and how you would feel because Im sure she's printing this out for the family as well!
Message edited 7/8/2005 8:13:07 PM.

7/8/05 8:11:25 PM
Capulet72
Its Official in Vegas!NRC Next



Member since 5/04
1674 total posts

Wedding Date:
6/2/2007 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
North Ritz Club NEW Re: Okay girls here's a how would you feel question for ya...

Just checked and there is over 67pgs. in my history. So 67pgs. search through, WHY??? Im sorry to vent again, since some people dont think I have the right too but I am just furious right now.

I think it is terrible and I feel bad for you. Planning a wedding is very stressful and it is normal for brides to be anti in laws during the entire planning process. I think your SIL is a looser for printing and sharing your posts. We all vent about things...especially when we are under stress.. I would go back to some old posts and delete them quick!

I will leave by saying that we should all learn a lesson from this and should not post anything that we do not want to bite us in the as#!...because the reality is..anyone can view and see what we are saying.....and if your not posting your pic..there are many other ways to figure out who you are...point being if someone wanted to find you on here they could!

I think that you have a right to vent on this site - here, everyone is planning or has planned their wedding, and not only do they allow you to vent, they offer their thoughts in order for you to see your situation in a different light.

While it must have been shocking to your SIL to read some of your posts, what does it say about her that she came onto this site and read EVERYTHING you typed? How sad she is. If you meant what you said, don't leave LIW. I see nothing wrong with getting advice and support from an unbiased crowd.

Good luck to you - maybe it is time to discuss your issues with your family members.

Well i'm sorry you're in this situation. Like the others mentioned it is natural for you to have certain stresses and want to share them with others who are going through the same thing as you.

The principle that I always have (especially when I am dying to post my feelings) is that if I cannot say it to their face, then I shouldn't be typing it or having it out there in 'cyberspace'.. the metro LI area isn't as large as we think sometimes.

Bottom line--if you say you aren't ashamed of what you wrote then you have nothing to worry about. I agree that your SIL is wrong for digging up stuff and think that it is somewhat childish.. Don't stress about it.

I hope you get things straighted out with your in laws, life is too short to live it unhappily.

Thanks ladies. I did just that! I went up and talked to my MIL after almost a year and layed everything out on the table and I made it clear why I said the things in those posts I said and that I wasnt sorry for venting because that's how I was feeling and rather then vent within people who know each other I felt this was a way to get things off my chest without causing any further issues. My MIL told me she was pissed when they read her over the phone what I wrote and thought who did I think I was but also told them they were wrong for going into my history of posts. I hope that's true but I feel like to read through 67pages of posts is ridiculous. I have NO relationship with you and havent spoke to you in almost a year(way after the posts were written). I tried being friendly with her and everytime had something such as her opinions on my parenting skills thrown back at me behind my back so I gave up. All of the sudden she's married for over a year and deceides to lurk on LIW and just by coincidence comes across my screen name in a chat and puts it in a search and goes through 67pages of posts(almost 1700 posts ladies). For what purpose???? It's not even that she got her feelings hurt because I feel she had no business doing what she did and part of me wonders since the posts were only discovered a few days ago could it be that since I had LIW mail laying around that she deceided to see what I was up too?? I could be wrong but who goes through pages of history just talking about my wedding plans and advice given to other LIW members about their situations to go as far as the last page over a year ago. Who stirs things up by printing it out and calling my MIL? Her feelings may have been hurt but I feel once she printed those pages and announced my feelings about my MIL she invaded my privacy!!

---

Posted by honeybee06

Well i'm sorry you're in this situation. Like the others mentioned it is natural for you to have certain stresses and want to share them with others who are going through the same thing as you.

The principle that I always have (especially when I am dying to post my feelings) is that if I cannot say it to their face, then I shouldn't be typing it or having it out there in 'cyberspace'.. the metro LI area isn't as large as we think sometimes.

Bottom line--if you say you aren't ashamed of what you wrote then you have nothing to worry about. I agree that your SIL is wrong for digging up stuff and think that it is somewhat childish.. Don't stress about it.

I hope you get things straighted out with your in laws, life is too short to live it unhappily.

---

Cant be ashamed of my feelings, they are my feelings and I have told them how I felt before. Like I said it's not that they read it because I'd be lieing if I said it's not embarassing but to print it out and call my MIL and read it to her is crossing the line. I feel what she did was intentional not found by accident as they claim. This is what has me so angry.

I think that is terrible of her! So sorry you have to deal with all that!

Actually, I was wondering how it works when people put their wedding website on here since it has your screen name as part of it. I don't want anyone coming to the wedding to look up my posts to find out anything I say!

I TOTALLY AGREE. IT LOOKS LIKE SHE IS TRYING TO START A WAR OR SOMETHING. IN THE WORDS OF MY MOTHER SHE IS A 'S*H*I*T STARTER'. MEANING ANYTHING TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE. I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT. NO OFFENSE TO YOU OR YOUR IN LAWS.

---

Posted by Steph62406

IMO you sister-in-law seems like she's looking to cause some drama. I would change my LIW name if I was you.[/QUOTE

This sounds like something my In-laws would do

I think it was def. done to stir up trouble...

and I say change your username and vent all you want!!!

Thanks ladies I may do that but being that Im sure they would find away into my posts again venting no longer seems an option on here, so I guess it's time to spend $$ on a therapist like others do and maybe send out the bill!! Im sure she still doesnt feel what they did was wrong and Im the one at fault but that's just the way it goes! I appreciate all the support and also accept the advice by people who stated in some way that this happening is my own fault because if I didnt want anyone to read my thoughts I shouldnt have posted them on a public site. I just never thought that after posting something awhile ago it would turn into an invasion of privacy by spreading my thoughts on others besides them to these people. You would think that after the responses posted that it would end because others would realize that what was done was wrong but instead it continues because they arent wrong I am. Again that's just the way it goes I guess.