I'm having a very small bridal party....just a Maid of Honor, Best Man, Bridesmaid, 2 Flowergirls, and 2 Jr. Groomsmen. My brother will be walking my mother down the aisle. My FH has one sister and he wants to put her and her husband in the bridal party. I'm not close to her at all....she's not that very nice. We talked about this once and agreed on the bridal party we had selected. Now, I have my mother-in-law putting me on the spot, asking me to put her daughter and son-in-law in the wedding party!! I don't think this is fair....I think I should have control over who I choose as my bridesmaids and FH should choose his groomsmen. Am I being unreasonable?? Shouldn't I be able to choose my own bridesmaids without my IL's butting in???
qtdimps23
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
%$#* that! it's your bridal party. these are supposed to be the closest people to you. if you don't want them, you shouldn't have to have them and no one should force you!
shopaholic07
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by qtdimps23
%$#* that! it's your bridal party. these are supposed to be the closest people to you. if you don't want them, you shouldn't have to have them and no one should force you!
That's exactly what I'm thinking!! If I let FMIL force me into this now, I can only imagine how much more meddling this will lead to.
shopaholic07
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Bump.....
charisma
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
if you and Fh already agreed on the BP then thats the end of it...they'll get over it
sarahthegreat
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
your girls should be your close family and friends. just b/c your fh has a sister, doesn't mean she has to be in your bp. and if she is married, again, that doesn't mean he has to be in the bp.
don't let your fmil force something on you. maybe ask her, fh's siter, to do a reading.
rkl1130
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
You should be able to choose who you want in your BP. It's your day and you shouldn't feel bad about not putting in someone because you don't feel comfortable or you don't like them, etc...They will just have to understand and suck it up.
kns11
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by qtdimps23
%$#* that! it's your bridal party. these are supposed to be the closest people to you. if you don't want them, you shouldn't have to have them and no one should force you!
I totally agree with this, but truth be told it is not always possible. For instance, I always knew I wanted a small BP. Initially, I was only going to have a MOH. Then I decided I wanted 3 gals (great friends). I was forced into have one my FSIL in the BP. My FSIL and FMIL stirred up so much nonsense that FI and I caved in. We figured it would be the right thing to do to keep the peace. Let me tell you for all the hel# FMIL and FSIL raised FSIL has not done a THING! She did not attend our engagement party, nor did she send a card, or even ask about the party. She claims she is overwhelmed with student teacher (I've been there) and has little money(been there too). I believe her but knowing this ahead of time she should have determined if she could avail herself for her role. Not to meantion she is the only one I have that is out of state. I completely regret the decision. I has cause me unnecessary stress and aggreviation. If you can see if your FI can be on the same page and not cave in. Best of Luck this is a sticky, shitt# situation.
shopaholic07
Posted:
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by sarahthegreat
your girls should be your close family and friends. just b/c your fh has a sister, doesn't mean she has to be in your bp. and if she is married, again, that doesn't mean he has to be in the bp.
don't let your fmil force something on you. maybe ask her, fh's siter, to do a reading.
Unfortunately, in my religion, there aren't any readings.
That's exactly what FMIL is doing--forcing. She shouldn't be so pushy and try to make adjustments to my wedding.
FH's neice is one of our flowergirls so I was thnking that maybe his sister could walk her daughter down the aisle if needed(she will be just shy of 2 yrs old at our wedding).
shopaholic07
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by rkl1130
You should be able to choose who you want in your BP. It's your day and you shouldn't feel bad about not putting in someone because you don't feel comfortable or you don't like them, etc...They will just have to understand and suck it up.
That's exactly what I'm thinking.....so why aren't IL's/FH understanding that?!?!
shopaholic07
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by kbb1977
Posted by qtdimps23
%$#* that! it's your bridal party. these are supposed to be the closest people to you. if you don't want them, you shouldn't have to have them and no one should force you!
I totally agree with this, but truth be told it is not always possible. For instance, I always knew I wanted a small BP. Initially, I was only going to have a MOH. Then I decided I wanted 3 gals (great friends). I was forced into have one my FSIL in the BP. My FSIL and FMIL stirred up so much nonsense that FI and I caved in. We figured it would be the right thing to do to keep the peace. Let me tell you for all the hel# FMIL and FSIL raised FSIL has not done a THING! She did not attend our engagement party, nor did she send a card, or even ask about the party. She claims she is overwhelmed with student teacher (I've been there) and has little money(been there too). I believe her but knowing this ahead of time she should have determined if she could avail herself for her role. Not to meantion she is the only one I have that is out of state. I completely regret the decision. I has cause me unnecessary stress and aggreviation. If you can see if your FI can be on the same page and not cave in. Best of Luck this is a sticky, shitt# situation.
Thank you for your support....it is a sticky, shitt# situation.
As for his sister availing herself to the role....just last week he asked to print the address labels for our e-party thank you's on her printer and she threw a FIT, going on about why we did we have to use her printer and why we couldn't wait until we got our own printer and how we were going to waste her ink. We only had to print ONE page!!! Honestly, she would be a useless addition to the party......her mother just wants her daughter in the spotlight that day.
kns11
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by shopaholic07
Posted by kbb1977
Posted by qtdimps23
%$#* that! it's your bridal party. these are supposed to be the closest people to you. if you don't want them, you shouldn't have to have them and no one should force you!
I totally agree with this, but truth be told it is not always possible. For instance, I always knew I wanted a small BP. Initially, I was only going to have a MOH. Then I decided I wanted 3 gals (great friends). I was forced into have one my FSIL in the BP. My FSIL and FMIL stirred up so much nonsense that FI and I caved in. We figured it would be the right thing to do to keep the peace. Let me tell you for all the hel# FMIL and FSIL raised FSIL has not done a THING! She did not attend our engagement party, nor did she send a card, or even ask about the party. She claims she is overwhelmed with student teacher (I've been there) and has little money(been there too). I believe her but knowing this ahead of time she should have determined if she could avail herself for her role. Not to meantion she is the only one I have that is out of state. I completely regret the decision. I has cause me unnecessary stress and aggreviation. If you can see if your FI can be on the same page and not cave in. Best of Luck this is a sticky, shitt# situation.
Thank you for your support....it is a sticky, shitt# situation.
As for his sister availing herself to the role....just last week he asked to print the address labels for our e-party thank you's on her printer and she threw a FIT, going on about why we did we have to use her printer and why we couldn't wait until we got our own printer and how we were going to waste her ink. We only had to print ONE page!!! Honestly, she would be a useless addition to the party......her mother just wants her daughter in the spotlight that day.
Your more than welcome! So sorry to hear that you have to deal with this unnecessary bullsh%^ throughout your time to shine. She sounds like she is going to fight tooth and nail over every little demand. Perhaps you could use this as an example for why she is not to be a part of the wedding party? Either way much
shopaholic07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by kbb1977
Posted by shopaholic07
Posted by kbb1977
Posted by qtdimps23
%$#* that! it's your bridal party. these are supposed to be the closest people to you. if you don't want them, you shouldn't have to have them and no one should force you!
I totally agree with this, but truth be told it is not always possible. For instance, I always knew I wanted a small BP. Initially, I was only going to have a MOH. Then I decided I wanted 3 gals (great friends). I was forced into have one my FSIL in the BP. My FSIL and FMIL stirred up so much nonsense that FI and I caved in. We figured it would be the right thing to do to keep the peace. Let me tell you for all the hel# FMIL and FSIL raised FSIL has not done a THING! She did not attend our engagement party, nor did she send a card, or even ask about the party. She claims she is overwhelmed with student teacher (I've been there) and has little money(been there too). I believe her but knowing this ahead of time she should have determined if she could avail herself for her role. Not to meantion she is the only one I have that is out of state. I completely regret the decision. I has cause me unnecessary stress and aggreviation. If you can see if your FI can be on the same page and not cave in. Best of Luck this is a sticky, shitt# situation.
Thank you for your support....it is a sticky, shitt# situation.
As for his sister availing herself to the role....just last week he asked to print the address labels for our e-party thank you's on her printer and she threw a FIT, going on about why we did we have to use her printer and why we couldn't wait until we got our own printer and how we were going to waste her ink. We only had to print ONE page!!! Honestly, she would be a useless addition to the party......her mother just wants her daughter in the spotlight that day.
Your more than welcome! So sorry to hear that you have to deal with this unnecessary bullsh%^ throughout your time to shine. She sounds like she is going to fight tooth and nail over every little demand. Perhaps you could use this as an example for why she is not to be a part of the wedding party? Either way much
Thanks for the hugs!! I actually bought up that specific example when FH and I were arguing about this over the weekend and he said I shouldn't criticize his relationship with his sister. Whatever.......Anyways, I just don't like being told what to do, least of all from my IL's who are not even contributing anything to the wedding.
AeroJenn
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Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Pick who YOU want. Tell FMIL to shove it -- its YOUR wedding and you should have the people you love most next to you. Just because she's FH's sister, doesnt mean she needs to be in the BP.
shopaholic07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost from BHB--Who chooses BM's?
Posted by AeroJenn
Pick who YOU want. Tell FMIL to shove it -- its YOUR wedding and you should have the people you love most next to you. Just because she's FH's sister, doesnt mean she needs to be in the BP.
That's EXACTLY what I'm thinking.....I'm not telling my FH which guys he should put so I don't understand why I should be told which girls to choose. I have a brother and I didn't impose on FH to put him in. I have a feeling that FMIL is behind all this....I already discussed with FH about not putting his sister & her husband in the party and we closed the issue. Now....why is FMIL bringing it up for discussion again?? She's the pushy type who butts her nose in anywhere and always tries to get her way.....I honestly have so much going on right now and the last thing I want to do is fight with FMIL but I can't take it. If I let her push me around on this, then I might as well lie down and let her walk all over me.
