So....my step-daughter who is 8 lives with me and DH. She gave me a plant for mother's day and made me a card. It was very cute. She asked if she could call me mom. Now...DH and I had discussed this when she came to live with us, and I said that I wouldn't be comfortable with that....she has a mother who she sees every other weekend....while I despise this woman and everything she has put DH through...she still is the child's mother, so I respect that. I told my step-daughter that maybe we can think of a special name, other than mom...and not my first name that she could call me if she wanted.
So...am I wrong? Should I let her call me mom? DH said it didn't matter to him, but I feel funny. Any suggesstions for other 'special names'? Thanks.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: Repost from Parenting....step-children
my 8 yr old daughter calls DH Daddy and he is not her Biological child She sees her biological father every Sunday from 12 to 6 ....6 hours a week DH and I have a 3 yr old daughter together and m,y 8 yr old asked DH if he was her Daddy too...what was he gonna say to her really? He said of course I am your Daddy and she has called him Daddy ever since. We do not regret or feel bad about this decision because it was all up to my daughter we want her to know she is loved and that she is as much a part of this family as our 3 yr old
OSCARtheGROOM
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Re: Repost from Parenting....step-children
I'm in a similar situation. My son calls me dad because I'm his biological father. But he also calls his mother's husband dad. I feel it necessary to tell him that I'm his real dad. He needs to know the difference, and he does by me telling him this all the time. I don't want him growing up, and not knowing the difference. I get the raw end of the deal, because he lives with them. But I'm working on getting full custody instead of having joint custody.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: Repost from Parenting....step-children
IMy daughter knows that her father made her but her Daddy is raising her It is important for the child to know that everyone loves them...... Oscar the Groom...it is great that you want to be with your son and I also applaude your maturity in allowing your son to call another man Dad
My daughters father really wasnt around until she was 5. It wasnt until I was pregnant with my 2nd child that he wanted to be involved in her life so he really doesnt have my respect in even asking if he is ok with what she calls her stepfather
cluelessbride
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Re: Repost from Parenting....step-children
I have mixed feelings on this. I have a stepmother who I love dearly but my Mom is my Mom. I love and respect my stepmother b/c she has been good to us, but I feel it would be disrespectful to my mother to call someone else by that name.
So...sometimes I call my stpemom Mom #2, which she actually calls herself too, it's kind of a silly thing...and sometimes if we are in a situation that we don't feel like getting into the whole relationship I will just introduce her as my Mom, b/c there is something not nice about the word 'stepmom'.
I wish there were a better word than 'step - whatever' for all the great stepparents out there. It has such a negative connotation. But still, my Mom is my Mom.
I think little kids can get anxiety over it all. In the case of little ones I don't know what is best.
LuckyMe
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Re: Repost from Parenting....step-children
My older two dont know their dad because he is a deadbeat dad who is too self to be bothered but spends alot of time making other people believe that for the last 13yrs. this has been my decision not to let him be apart of their lives. What ever? My FH has been apart of their lives for 5yrs. now and they consider no one else to be daddy but him. FH considers no one else to be their dad but him. I have two other kids with FH and we are all very happy with the arrangement, FH is even paying to have their last names changed and eventually adopting them. Now as far as step kids, FH has a daughter one week younger then my son and I love her to death her mother on the other hand I could do without. My soon to be step daughter even asked ME if she could come live with me before they moved her out of the state. She will not talk to me if her mother is anywhere around including on the phone but is stuck like glue to me once she's here. Her mother told her that FH cant be bothered with her and has a fantasy family he'd rather take care of, so we hardly see her anymore and talk to her maybe once a year because of her mother. However, I do agree with you that even if FH's daughter wanted to call me mom I wouldnt let it because as much of a waste as her real mom is I would never take that from her. So I applaud you for not trying to bring a wedge. Good Luck!
lolita4life
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Re: Repost from Parenting....step-children
i would be really hurt if my Dad said 'No' when i asked him if i could call him dad (hes not my biological)
i dont understand what the problem is?!!?
i think its kinda effed up. but thats just my opinion.
