As someone who was alone for the overwhelming majority of my twenties all I can say is, yes it's hard. I had to go back onto the datting scene after a very bad breakup at the age of 27.
I'm going to tell you a bitt of a long story because everything happens for a reason and I think the 'big guy upstairs' might have a very different plan for you even though it won't be easy.
I am a very strong person( mom died when I was little and Dad had a massive stroke at 57) and anyone who knows me will tell you I can do and handle anything but as more and more of my friends (yes, even people A LOT younger than me) met someone, got married, bought a house and had kids (all of my close friends were done with that entire process before I met FH) it got REALLY hard some days not to get completely mental about it. At several times I just could NOT bring myself to go to someone's bridal or baby shower because it just hurt too much and like I said I am VERY strong.
Add to the situation that 51 weeks after my huge breakup, my father had a devistating stroke on Aug 21, 1998. My brother (thank God he lived at home at the time) found him on the floor next to his bed convulsing. I was in the city at a course at the NYSE, didn't have a cell phone and didn't find out until hours later... I'll never forget that drive down the Southern State Parkway. How I didn't kill myself or someone else I don't know. My father was in a mild coma for three days, temporary feeding tube. When he did wake up he had so much swelling on the brain his eyes weren't focused and he had no speech at all... not a sound... he was completely mute and could not lift his legs or his left arm... he was a bowl of jello in the bed. It took three physical therapists to get him in a chair he had no motor control.
I woke every morning for 11 days at 4:30, quickly showered (often forgetting to shave my legs), threw on clothes, put fresh vegetables in a borrowed food processor (so as to make him his meals) and was off to the hospital before his GP was there for rounds. I spoke to him, telling him stories , hung enlarged family photos on the wall with labels as to who they were and an info sheet of all of his likes and dislikes and favorite topics so the nurses could talk to him. On the first day of school he was transferred to a rehab center in King Park and we spent 4 months trying to get his arms and legs to work and his voice to say words. It is a good thing I wasn't in a relationship because my Dad really needed 150% of me and I've never been challenged so much in all of my life.
I cared for him on a daily basis for seven years until last September. I am his power of attorney, his health care advocate, his cook, cleaning lady, launderer, wardrobe consultant (he never looked better
![]()
), chauffer, physical therapist, you name it... I am his voice in the world.
I had to do all of this and date. Very hard to meet guys when you say you moved back home to care for your Dad, all of your friends are married and you work in a high school. I was straight with them and told them I am a package deal. Yes, it freaked a lot of them out and well... good, I learned sooner than later.
I used to lie in bed at night and think... oh my God, this is it. I will spend the rest of my days working full time, shuttling him to doctor's appointments after school, running home to cook dinner (he was on a restricted diet and everything needed to be made from scratch), throw in laundry and spend the night grading papers, collapse in bed and do it all over again the next day. I will never have a husband or a family... God just keeps throwing me major curveballs in life... will the party EVER be for me, maybe it's just not in the cards.
So I signed up for match.com and another internet site and went out on DOZENS and DOZENS of dates over 6 years. I could write a book. Then I went to a speedating even... disaster but I won a ticket to the next one and met FH.
Your time WILL come. Take it from me... I'm 34 and getting married for the first and it is SOOOOOO MUCH SWEETER because I never thought I would.
I know how hard it is... I was the Queen of Blockbuster Video... just a video, bottle of wine, me and the dog EVERY Friday night for quite a while... too long.
Do things for yourself, save your money and really learn who you are as a woman that way when the real guy comes along you will have no doubts and be thankful for the time you had to yourself.
FM me if you need to talk. I've been there.
![]()
![]()
