Well….originally my IL’s were going to pay for the Band and the Rehersal Dinner….Lets just say that there has been a turn of events these past couple of days and neither one seem to be the case anymore….because of the following: 1. The IL’s want 50 % Greek music played at our wedding. I am not greek and don’t care much for Greek music....so I am only agreeing to 1/3 Greek and the rest American. Apparently this is not enough and I’m being selfish and unreasonable and I am not respecting their traditions. I’m sorry…did I ever say I didn’t want ANY Greek music…NO!!!! Plus…the wedding is divided into 1/3 my parents guests, 1/3 IL’s guests and 1/3 our guests. WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?!?!?!?
2. We have agreed to get married at the GO Church but we are going to raise our kids Catholic. Well this seems to be a problem as well….because my IL’s stated that they “don’t do” communions…whatever that means. And before we agreed to get married in their church…my FIL made a comment to my FH that if we got married in a catholic church he would not walk down the isle and what not. And because we mentioned the whole catholic children….once again….I am not being respectful to their traditions. What about my traditions!?!? Isn’t the brides father supposed to give away his daughter at their house of worship?!?!? I feel that I’m being more than accommodating.
This is getting out of control! We talk about our wedding with our friends and they are so happy for us. I talk to my family about our wedding and they are so excited to celebrate…and only give advise or help when we ask for it. And then we talk to my IL’s and its always a hassle.
OHH did I mention that they are threatening to not invite People because they aren’t going to have a good time if there isn’t a lot of greek music and they keep telling us that its going to hurt us…people the people they are going to disinvite are VERY generous people….and we probably wont meet our minimum.
This is what I’m going through right now…so I think its safe to say that NO MY IL’s AREN’t PAYING FOR ANYHTING AND AT THIS POINT they can shove their money up their ***.
Thanks for listening…sorry for this longgggggggg VENT!
dani18
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
Thanks ladies...some of your responses crack me up. I'm actually doing soooo much better today. I have definitely calmed down a bit! I don't care anymore....I'm happy, my FH is happy, my friends and family are happy and supportive of every decision we have made....if my IL's choose to be miserable and choose to ruin our relationship with them....they have no one else to blame but themselves....I can go to bed at night knowing that I have never been disrespectful to them or to their beliefs and customs unlike them. Our wedding day is going to be ALL ABOUT US! and thats all that matters.
So once again thank you all. You've been great!
Ohh one final thought....so for the past 6 years FMIL has stated time and time again that she would make a conscience effort to NEVER be like Marie Barrone from Everyone loves raymond....GUESS WHAT LADY...you are so much worse!!!!!
haha!
SeptBride70
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
Posted by MJDoc12
sorry you have to deal with this....but i would say, as my spanish culture would refer to it, this is a case of Quien es mas macho? you're FIL's are trying to bully & intimidate you--and hope you will cave in. don't let that happen!! if they threaten to not invite ppl, say 'Well I'm sorry you feel that way, they will be missed.' let them make their comments about raising the children--because in the end YOU AND FH will be making those decisions.
i'm a big fan of killing 'em with kindness. each time they try and bully you---smile and say 'You are entitled to your own opinion--but FH and I are the ones with the final say.' Don't let them see you sweat--that's what they feed off of!!!!
HELL YEAH !!! can i say hell??
Soon2BeMrsS
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
TheBigDay
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
That is terrible! This is one of the reasons i told FH that i didnt want money from his mom... she will use it as a right to complain about everything... as if she wont do that anyway! My parents have been paying for stuff thus far.. well FH and I too, but i have not heard one I want out of my parents!.. NOT ONE!!! FMIL tried to get me to agree getting married in her church if my church wouldnt let her pastor come in and do the ceremony... i am like, slow down! I kinda feel like i have not even had a choice as to having my pastor the pastor of the church we are getting married in (who is new and I am not in NY to get to know her) do the ceremony.. even FH has been annoying me about it since his mom brought it up! i am like this is my pastors church i dont feel right just tossing to the side lines... i think his should come in and talk/be apart of the ceremony, but when he talks about it, it sounds like he is taking over... anyway, there have been MUCH worse things FMIL has done ... so i wish you only the best of luck with that one!!!!
Mikeysgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
That's a tough situation. I think you are being very accomodating by having 1/3 of the music be Greek.And as for the parents not invitng guests because they will not have a good time because of teh music, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Aren't the guests going there to celebrate your marriage and not to have a grand old time dancing to Greek Music!! You need to have a sit down with her and let it all out. She's pushing her opinions on you and you should really let her know where you stand. GOod luck
Emma2-22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
Posted by dani18
Ohh one final thought....so for the past 6 years FMIL has stated time and time again that she would make a conscience effort to NEVER be like Marie Barrone from Everyone loves raymond....GUESS WHAT LADY...you are so much worse!!!!!
haha!
That is hilarious I refer to my Monster in Law as Marie.
nychaos99
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
I just posted something similar. I totally know what you're going through. I've calmed down since my last rant, and just keep thinking, you know what? It's one very special day, but what's most important is that my FH is on the same page as me, which he is.
I agree with killing them with kindness. Then at least, they can never say anything bad about you. My mother said to me: be careful what you say, what you do- the wedding is one night, you are stuck with your IL's for the rest of your life!
And she's right. Who wants to live like 'Everybody Love's Raymond'? Not me, that's for sure.
So, we all must deal with a lot of crap and just hope for the best.
***you could always be evil and make sure that the photographers get pictures of your in-laws picking their nose or something. That'd be pretty funny.
JazzyT
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
Wow, they seem like they don't want to compromist or want to respect your traditions you are being more than accomodating I don't think you should give into anymore.
spooks
Posted:
Member since
Re: Repost-VENT! Can anyones IL's be this bad?!?!?!
Wow, this is tough - I'm sorry you're going through this. I just learned of a site - motherinlawstories.com - funny stuff.
I agree that with the music agree to some number but then tell the band/DJ something else- and blame it on them - take it off you for a bit.
As for the kids, I also told our families how we were raising the kids, i think in an interfaith marriage thats important before hand - first among you and FH and then among the families - not for them to have a say in the decision but to give a heads up. IMO
You're right - she sounds far worse then Marie Barrone - don't worry on the day of none of this will matter and you'll focus on just the two of you!
