RP 07: Is it wrong....

for me not to want FH to go to Vegas for his Bachelor party?
His brother has been non existent as a best man and then today calls to suggest they go to Vegas for his bach party for a weekend.
Generally I wouldn't mind but neither of us has ever been to Vegas and I guess I though it was something that we would get to do together.
Plus they would be going the last weekend in September which is the weekend we would probably have been celebrating out 7 year anniversary(as it falls on that Monday)
Fist off I don't understand why they had to wait until such last minute to plan something (fh didn't even think he was going to have one at this point and really didn't seem to care) and secondly why it needs to be a whole weekend halfway across the country? For my bach party the girls and I went into the city to party and then came home so its not like I had this giant party and don't want him to have one I just wish they had picked something closer to home at least or stuck to a day trip like paintball like they had first discussed long ago.
He told me if I don't want him to go he won't but I feel bad telling him no.
Am I wrong to feel this way?

Sorry so long
Thanks for letting me vent

My Fh is actually going to Vegas the same weekend for his bach. party. I kinda didnt want him to go because it is so far away, and I will be worried about them drinking tooooooo much. But his best man and one of the groomsman actually asked me if they could take him there before they asked him. I thought that was very respectful of them, and I figured it will be something they never forget, and it will only happen once. As long as they weren't taking him to Hawaii or somewhere like that, I don't care....but then again, I don't really feel the need to ever go to Vegas, so that's why it doesn't bother me..... Good luck with whatever decision you make

are u upset that he is going to vegas or that he's going away for en entire weekend? i could understand being upset that he will get 3 days and you just had a few hours one night.

does your FH really want to go?? i think i would let him know that it kind of sux that this is what they chose last minute and that it stinks that he wants to go away that particular weekend. then ask him if him and his BM can just do it here in NY or something. it just doesn't seem fair to you to have it OOT like that

if he REALLY wants to go--i would probably just suuck it up and then after the wedding you should do something similiar, and have a 'girl's weekend' at some point and tell FH to pay for it!

hope you can resolve this

I think its a little bit of all of that

If for my party the girls had picked someplace that we had never been that he wanted to go to i'm sure he wouldn't have been happy and he wouldn't have even have had to ask me not to go because I recognize things like that and would have changed it on my own, men on the other hand are oblivious. I put it out there that I wasn't thrilled and mentioned why but I guess I don't want him to make the decision not to go just because I say so I would rather he hear what I have to say and then decide how important this is to him and make his decision that way.

He never mentioned the idea of going to vegas to anyone so this is something his brother and his father have come up with probably more because they want to go than that they think it's what he wants. There are so many other things that i'm sure he would enjoy doing that they have never even considered, with a month left till the wedding this is their first planning thought.

I already suggested that they go to AC instead if they must do this weekend thing, I dont know if he is considering it but I put it out there. I have never been there either but I would feel better about that than vegas, though I still am not thrilled that we basically lose out on having any time that weekend to celebrate our last Anniversary before marriage.

I guess it comes down to the fact that i'm not his mother and I don't want to tell him what to do. Hes an adult he should make these decisions for himself I just hope he takes my feelings about it into consideration.

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Posted by BrideInBlue

I think its a little bit of all of that

If for my party the girls had picked someplace that we had never been that he wanted to go to i'm sure he wouldn't have been happy and he wouldn't have even have had to ask me not to go because I recognize things like that and would have changed it on my own, men on the other hand are oblivious. I put it out there that I wasn't thrilled and mentioned why but I guess I don't want him to make the decision not to go just because I say so I would rather he hear what I have to say and then decide how important this is to him and make his decision that way.

He never mentioned the idea of going to vegas to anyone so this is something his brother and his father have come up with probably more because they want to go than that they think it's what he wants. There are so many other things that i'm sure he would enjoy doing that they have never even considered, with a month left till the wedding this is their first planning thought.

I already suggested that they go to AC instead if they must do this weekend thing, I dont know if he is considering it but I put it out there. I have never been there either but I would feel better about that than vegas, though I still am not thrilled that we basically lose out on having any time that weekend to celebrate our last Anniversary before marriage.

I guess it comes down to the fact that i'm not his mother and I don't want to tell him what to do. Hes an adult he should make these decisions for himself I just hope he takes my feelings about it into consideration.

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u hit the nail on the head there---he's a guy and he doesn't quite 'get' it the way we do. and i'm like you--i wouldn't want to go some place for the first time w/o DH, especially if we always wanted to go together. but guys just don't think that way---we hope that they will figure it out for themselves and they just don't!!

this is probably a lot of 'peer/family pressure' for him too--caus if he goes back to his dad and bro about the issue--they will pressure him into vegas.

tell FH that if he goes he REALLY needs to make it up to you!!!!!

Thanks! I feel a little better knowing someone else understands where I am coming from.

I don't think his father and brother would pressure him they're not really like that, they're just always late no matter what it has to do with. I feel like if this was suggested months ago and actually planned instead of thrown together maybe I could have gotten over it, and besides they would have been able to make it for a better date where I wouldn't have multiple things making me not ant him to go. Also if i'd know they were going to want to go away for a whole weekend I would have make my bach party the same one so that I wouldn't be home by myself while he was away.

Uggh for some reason its all bothering me more than it should. I coudnt sleep last night, when I woke up I couldnt go back to sleep hence why i'm on now and I wish FH would just get up already so I can say what I need to say and be done with it and leave the decision to him

Its way to close to the wedding for stuff like this!!!