RP from 07: Bridesmaid issues- what would you do?

So, I'm really stressed out about my shower. One of my bms is OOT (CA) and being a pain- she didn't check w/anyone when she booked her flight out to NY (which, btw, is the weekend of her family reunion)- and she wants to have the bridal shower and the b-party the same weekend she's in NY- around her schedule! I feel very slighted by this, especially since the week she is coming out is a horrible weekend for me- i know i will be swamped at work! here is what is bothering me- i know one bm is complaining about the cost of the shower, and the one from CA is saying she won't pay for her part of the shower bc she won't be coming.

My feelings are really hurt- this is supposed to be a day about me, but i feel like my feelings are not being taken into account- now, i can't say anything to these girls bc i don't want to cause problems within the bp (as other ppl in the bp told me what they said- which also really hurt my feelings). At this point, I just don't want a shower, bc i feel like i'm just causing stress in other people's lives, and the shower is upsetting me.

Would you say something to the girls in your bp if this happened to you?

If it were me, I would probably say nothing. But I dont always do whats right for ME.

Since this isn't about me, I can be objective and tell you what I (you) *should* do. (or at least what my common sense says)

If it is bothering you, you HAVE to be honest about it. you are RIGHT... it is a day about you and your bp should know, respect, and want to accommodate that!!

i think it is out such poor taste to be complaining about someone's bridal party who's wedding you accepted to be in. Its immature and you definitely don't deserve that.

I think you should voice how you feel as politely and honestly as you can. You can never hurt someone's feelings by being HONEST with them. If they can't understand that, that's awful!

I'm sorry you are having such stress...

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Posted by carolinep24



i think it is out such poor taste to be complaining about someone's bridal party who's wedding you accepted to be in. Its immature and you definitely don't deserve that.

I'm sorry you are having such stress...

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well said!!!

I agree...

Alot of girls become bms and think its about a dress and shoes and some pictures

Id remind her of everything a bm incudes...