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RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

Mrs Z To Be Posted:

RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

PLEASE DON'T QUOTE!

First, if you read this, thank you.

It’s a FMIL issue.
Let me start off by saying that I have always gone out of my way with this woman, and been the better person. She always throws it back at me because she is jealous of the fact that FH and I have a great relationship, and he does not have a great one with her, but that is NOT my problem. I have tried to bring her closer to us, and my family, but she is extremely rude, and hard to swallow. Her jealous ways, and control issues consume her.
She is a very phony woman. She loves to gossip, and she blabs everybody’s business. She is vindictive and manipulative. I am sick of it. FH is not that close with her, and feels the same way, but how much can I vent to him, it’s still his mother. An example of how she blabs is that she has told her friends how much we are paying per plate for our wedding. Tacky . She has the constant need to be the center of attention, and when she is not, she is even more witchy than normal. So onto the “this is the last straw”.
This past Saturday was our engagement party. MY PARENTS threw the party. They paid for the whole thing, and my mother planned it. It was BEAUTIFUL. My FMIL thinks that my family is ridiculous because we have so many parties. (I.E., she is jealous that we are all so close). Throughout the whole engagement process, she still finds the need to tell me that the fact that we are having this e party and wedding is ridiculous. Well, it’s our decision!
So, FH and I were both a little anxious over the e party, as it was 135 people, and we hate to be the center of attention. We agreed that we were going to go to the restaurant at 5:45 to have a drink and relax a little bit before the guests started arriving. The party was due to start at 6:30. We got there at 5:40, and FMIL was already there with a few of her friends, scrutinizing the place card table!! That set me off. I honestly feel that she did that on purpose so that her friends would think she was hosting the party. But honestly, WHY did she have to get there so early???
Ok, so I got over that. During the party, she interrupted FH and I rudely, while we were talking to my uncle, and asked us to tell the DJ to lower the music. It was backround dinner music!. We told her no.
She was taking pictures ALL NIGHT, but not one of FH and I. Can you imagine??
Then, at the end of the party, I was walking around and giving out favors while we said good night.I turn around and there she is at the favor table, with her friend, STEALING favors!!! Can you believe the nerve? I PAID FOR THOSE, MY MOTHER THREW THE PARTY!! Know your place!!!!! Oh my. I ran over there and embarrassed her.
Guess what?? FH and I did not even get a lousy card from his parents! Ok, I don’t even care about not giving a gift, but c’mon, no card??? How effin rude!!! And they never gave us anything, since we got engaged back in June.!!! My parents paid for the party, and yet, they still wrote us a beautiful card, and gave us a little gift.Besides, tht is their SON!
The day after the party, (Sunday), surprise surprise, no phone call. Not even to say, it was nice or anything. BUT, she calls FH’s brothers fiancé, in hopes of bashing me. (I am close to FH’s bros fiancé). She actually said to her, it was nice , but a little over the top! F U LADY!!!! She;s so fake! She then called my mother finally, last night, to tell her that everyone was raving about the party, they had a great time, the food was great, etc. SO she says to my mom “we would like to pay for half”. WHAT??? Where was this offer three months ago, when you were told about the engagement party? Now, because it was so awesome, you want to contribute? I truly believe she offered because she has already led her side to believe that she had some part of this!! Which normally, I would not mind, but she is an ungrateful woman and why give her any credit here?? My mother thanked her, but declined. She told her “just give it to the kids”. You know what the witch answered?? “ Well we are going to contribute to the wedding”. So I guess that means that we are not worthy of a card????? Your oldest son, getting married, and you can’t give a card???? I’m so pissed that as I type I feel my blood pressure rising! It’s not even about the money, it’s about the fact that she is a witch that is truly selfish. Ugh. If you read this whole thing. Thank you
Lsorrent Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG



I posted on your other thread.
chrisandletizia Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

I am really sorry love.
I am with you all the way.
unfortunately some FMIL seem to think that it's all about them and forget that it's about their sons and their future wives. Seems like she also wanted to take credit for a great party. I'm sorry about the drama.

be strong
Its2Snappy Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this woman. Please try not to let her upset you. Remember it is about you and FH, not her. If she is not that close to FH, then don't include her in the wedding planning at all.

rocketsummer17 Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

I am so sorry you are going through this... I have a FMIL who is VERY similar to yours (are you sure they arent related in any way) and to be honest, I just started to ignore her and I think she got the hint. FH was her first son, oh but he was an 'accident' so he doesnt matter to her, and she makes it a point to always say it.

Just take her for what she is...Try to back away from her as best you can and keep your distance. Just please be careful and watch what you say to her, it will bite you in the a$$ and it will make things harder for FH...
T E R I Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG



i posted on your other thread
SummerGroom10 Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

Wow thats kinda crazy... I feel so badly when I hear about people that dont get along with their FH/FW's family... It helps me to see how lucky we both are because we both get along very well with each others families....

I hate to see people going through this though... Definitely say something to your FH about it and see what he thinks...
MikesBride2B Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

Honestly, just ignore her. I know its hard because she is such a witch but what it boils down to is she is an insecure bully. Leave her out of the wedding planning, don't go to her for anything and really, if I were you I would not accept money from her because then she will feel like she can interject her 'opinion' everywhere and when you say no she'll use it as an excuse to talk crap about you.

I'm so sorry you are going through this...but you gotta deal with this woman for the rest of your life, so the best strategy is to establish now that this sort of disgusting behavior has consequences (her not being involved in your life, her not being informed of anything).

AdriandSteve Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

Wow....

I am really sorry that you have to go through this, esp at your e-party?! Even if she didn't pay for a cent she should have still tried to have you guys enjoy your day and not worry about anything.. which she obv didn't.
I agree with what you think and what someone i believe said above, it's an attention thing and can't handle that you guys are the center of attention right now (which is perfectly fine!).

I would do my best to ignore her. I also think you can vent to FH a little about this but to a certain extent cuz like u said.. it's still his mom. How does his bro's fiance get along with her? If she feels the same way i think venting to her might be a good idea.

What about the rest of FH's family. Are they more supportive?
Nichole2010 Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

ugh! i dont know why anyone cant be happy for anyone!!

stealing your favors?!?! wow that is low!!!!

if i were you, i wouldnt give her any details about the wedding. none. just keep it on the down low. dont try to involve her in anything anymore. you tried, but shes not making it easy for you & you dont need that stress!!! it sounds like your FH is marrying into a loving, well-rounded family & that is important..

im sorry you are dealing wtih this stress
KRISTIND Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

remember you got her son so ha!!!!!

Mrs Z To Be Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG


Posted by Nichole2010

ugh! i dont know why anyone cant be happy for anyone!!

stealing your favors?!?! wow that is low!!!!

if i were you, i wouldnt give her any details about the wedding. none. just keep it on the down low. dont try to involve her in anything anymore. you tried, but shes not making it easy for you & you dont need that stress!!! it sounds like your FH is marrying into a loving, well-rounded family & that is important..

im sorry you are dealing wtih this stress



Thank you for saying that. It just makes me feel lousy, because I am agood person, and don't desserve a witch of a mil.
soontobecruz Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

Wow...

Honeslty I read this a while ago and it is still on my mind. I can't imagine having to deal with someone like that. I agree with most of the other posts that you need to keep your distance from her. She is not going to change, and I am sure others know how she really is as well.

My FH's family doesn't 'get' all of my families parties either. We are very close as well and it is like pulling teeth to stress the importance of these things. It took FH a while to adjust to it himself, (thankfully he has and enjoys it now, and appreciates seeing everyone who are close and loving) if they arn't like that don't expect them to change overnight. To be honest my FFIL almost didn't come to our e-party this weekend. He was an hour and a half late, barley talked to anyone and got drunk. I was upset but didn't let it bother me. He has always been that way and is never going to change. It took me a while to not take it personally, but I have learned to accept it and move on. Unfortuntley rare does a leopard change it's spots.

Like i said I would keep some solid distance from her. I wouldn't ask her for anything or even take her offers. She only wants the credit for it so it isn't genuine. Also I would talk to Fh about this and tell him this is how it has to be. He sounds like a great guy and if he knows his mom for who she really is he should understand.
futureMrsJSL Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

Sorry you and FH have to deal with that.

stinenandy2010 Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

the best thing to do is distance yourself from her and just ingore her. that's what we do and it works great for us....just try to remain positive and don't listen to her.
laurenandmike618 Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

Wow I don't even know what to say but I totally agree with you.

Just try, if you can, to take some deep breaths and remember that you are marrying a wonderful man and you are going to start your life together soon. That's what it's all about!! She's just jealous that you two are happy which is really more unfortunate for her than it is for you, as she will probably always be an unhappy woman, and you will not.
Nina1010 Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG

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I am so sorry to hear that. I really feel for you. And well... she's just a sad person who doesn't know how to be happy. Thank God that your FH and her are not close. It could really turn into pure misery having to deal with that attitude on a regular basis. It makes me thankful that my FMIL lives in FL now. She is a tough one to get along with as well. In the sense that she has 3 boys... and no woman is good enough for any of them. She likes us on our own, but, I think she wishes her sons were alone and only there for her... ya know? Sad.


jussie82 Posted:

Re: RP from BHB: I really need to vent: UPset: LONG


Posted by stinenandy2010

the best thing to do is distance yourself from her and just ingore her. that's what we do and it works great for us....just try to remain positive and don't listen to her.



ita..the more interaction you have with her the more opportunities she will have to act like a biotch and try to upset you during your wedding planning. The more time you spend with her, the more likely you will blow up in her face which you will regret later.

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