RSVP card question...

gip32680 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 02:27 PM

RSVP card question...

My FH wants to know...should we include a ceremony only option on the card. For it to read attending ceremony only or ceremony and reception. He asks because there are a few ppl who stated that they understand that they cannot come to the reception but wants to see us get married at the ceremony.
Now my problem with this is our ceremony and reception will be at the same venue and after the ceremony I don't want people who chose ceremony only to them feel tempted to attend the reception b/c they want to see the first dance or watch us cut the cake etc. I can't take that chance. Also, my other concern is that there may be people who decide to come to the ceremony with their kids and then again feel tempted to come in to the reception. This I definitely will not have because it is ADULT only reception. Now the other dilema is that there may be ppl out of the ones who were actually invited to the wedding period that may not be able to attend the reception but will attend the ceremony. I have done this because I had another engagement but I just replied no on the rsvp card so they didn't count us for a plate.

I just need your opinions on this. Again FH asked me to post this. It was not my idea b/c I already have my rsvp cards done but I had to entertain in request LOL.

TIA

LnF0405 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 02:43 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

In my opinion either you invite for both or you dont invite them at all, specially when the ceremony and Reception is the same location.

gip32680 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 02:47 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

Posted by LnF0405

In my opinion either you invite for both or you dont invite them at all, specially when the ceremony and Reception is the same location.

I totally agree but I don't know what FH is thinking but he asked me to post this and actually had the nerve to watch me post to make sure I did it.LOL but I do agree.

Keep it coming ladies so I can show FH what I'm talking about.

RadiantBride Posted: Oct 29, 2008 02:52 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

I agree with the PP in that if they go to one, they go to both. I also got married in my RH and I felt uncomfortable if someone would have come to the ceremony and not go straight to CH with the rest of the guests.
Also, find out if your RH lets you do this as they set up the ceremony room for the amount of guests that you have in your final count.

cherish83 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 03:02 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

IMO, I would send invites to those only invited to the reception. If they can't make the reception, they'll still see the ceremony info and decide if they want to go. If there are people you didnt send invites to that you know may want to see the ceremony, you can send an email. Thats what someone at work did.

debzy Posted: Oct 29, 2008 04:19 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

One invitation and only a Yes/No option on the RSVP cards. For the one or two people who can only attend the ceremony, they will let you know. Otherwise, there's no reason to give people an option - that is just confusing to them.

pa56 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 04:20 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

We had two inserts in our invitation - one for ceremony and one for reception. Both were in the same location but there was a 2 hour gap inbetween. We had set up hospitality suites at the hotel for those with nowhere to go for those 2 hours.

The reason we did this was because everyone was invited to the reception but only close famiy and friends were invited to the ceremony. Indian wedding ceremonies can be long (over an hour) and many people don't want to come for that and then hang out for 2 hours so just come to the reception.

As for the RSVP card, we didn't have a 'ceremony only' or 'attending both' option. Our RSVP card was really for the reception only since people have assigned seats (or at least assigned tables). We provided enough chairs at the ceremony so didn't really need a headcount for that. My suggestion for the RSVP card is to just have one RSVP. People normally tell you if they can't make the reception. And if you do get someone who writes on the card that they're coming to the ceremony only, I would just call them to confirm and let them know that you're sorry they can't come to the reception and you won't make a placecard for them.

sophisticat13 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 05:46 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

I personally have never heard of having two RSVP cards...I would go with one. Sending one is stressful enough unfortunately....keeping track of two will be really stressful for you!!! (Check out the posts on here about guests who do not RSVP ) Also it will be an added cost to have an extra card made, etc.
GL

Sweeteey51 Posted: Oct 30, 2008 03:13 AM

Re: RSVP card question...

A woman from my FH job said the same thing to him she will come to our ceremony but not our reception if were over the amount of people. But i say thats tasteless of us to invite someone only to ceremony and not reception. Please both or non at all.

gip32680 Posted: Oct 30, 2008 09:33 AM

Re: RSVP card question...

Posted by Sweeteey51

A woman from my FH job said the same thing to him she will come to our ceremony but not our reception if were over the amount of people. But i say thats tasteless of us to invite someone only to ceremony and not reception. Please both or non at all.

Trust me ladies I already have my rsvp cards done and they are for those who are invited to BOTH. I only posted this for FH sake. LOL he didn't believe me that this was not a good idea. But I guess that's when we ladies have to step up and put our foot down. Lol

BoxOfRocks Posted: Oct 30, 2008 02:16 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

No, don't put a 'ceremony only' option on the card.

It may lead guests to think that you are inviting people (even if it's not them) only to the ceremony itself, not the reception. That is rude, b/c the underlying assumption there is that the couple doesn't want to pay for the reception for the 'ceremony only' folks. (Although not inviting people to a ceremony but inviting them to a reception is OK.)

I absolutely realize that that's not the reason you're considering printing it on there, but that may the conclusion that your guests have. Why create that perception about yourselves, even unintentionally?

Guests who can go to the ceremony but not the reception should do what you did when you found yourself in that position--write on the RSVP card what they intend to do or contact you some other way to let you know the situation.

ETA--Ditto what Debzy said. She did it in a way much more succinctly than the novel I just wrote.

VickiR510 Posted: Oct 30, 2008 04:21 PM

Re: RSVP card question...

Sorry i wouldnt do that.I feel like if they cant attend boththen you shouldnt invite them tojus the one. If it was a church or some other venue but not atthe RH. Plus it will make you feel weird saying thank you for coming goodbye while everyone else is piling into the CH! Its just not right.