RSVP frustration...

Lolablue34 Posted: Aug 18, 2010 10:38 AM

RSVP frustration...

Our cut off date for the RSVPs was last Friday. FH, FMIL and I have been calling the stragglers and encountered a few people who said they 'dont know yet-will let us know'. Granted, the wedding isn't for 4 weeks, but how am I supposed to do seating arrangements and order placecards when there are 10 people who are up in the air? Is it rude of me to say 'if you dont know by XX date then the answer has to be No? I think this is really rude of some people.

What did other brides out there do?

AngnShaun Posted: Aug 18, 2010 10:41 AM

Re: RSVP frustration...

Posted by Lolablue34

Our cut off date for the RSVPs was last Friday. FH, FMIL and I have been calling the stragglers and encountered a few people who said they 'dont know yet-will let us know'. Granted, the wedding isn't for 4 weeks, but how am I supposed to do seating arrangements and order placecards when there are 10 people who are up in the air? Is it rude of me to say 'if you dont know by XX date then the answer has to be No? I think this is really rude of some people.

What did other brides out there do?

its absolutely not rude of you to say that... its rude of them to tell you they will let you know...

I let a select few wait only because there were circumstances beyond their control... like work schedules and things like that...

lynb1031 Posted: Aug 18, 2010 10:46 AM

Re: RSVP frustration...

You gave them a date to RSVP by. They're lucky you even gave the courtesy call. It's a little something we were all taught when we were kids and it's called FOLLOWING FREAKING DIRECTIONS!!!!! I'm not nice enought to even give them another date to reply by. Our engagement party invites stated 'If a reply is not received by the RSVP date, your attendance is not expected'. My mother thought it was tacky, but it got the point across and EVERYONE RSVP'd by the date

olganfreddy Posted: Aug 18, 2010 10:47 AM

Re: RSVP frustration...

I completely agree....I am almost at my RSVP date and have not received more than half of my rsvp's and when I start making calls I am not planning to give people leaway to 'let me know'....its ridiculous you are planning a wedding not a freaking birthday dinner....its important to know headcount so that you can make the appropriate decisions. All this RSVP business has just totally made me have a few realizations about peoples mentality and priorities. Some ppl are RIDICULOUS!

FutureJOC Posted: Aug 18, 2010 10:56 AM

Re: RSVP frustration...

It is not rude at all to say that. Honestly, they had to have known the wedding was coming up, they should have known for a while if they were going to be a Yes or a No.

If it were me, I would tell them I need an answer by Friday and if you don't hear anything, you are putting them down as a No.

CantWaitMrsH Posted: Aug 18, 2010 10:56 AM

Re: RSVP frustration...

I agree ... Youre either coming or not! Its that simple. Sure some have up in the air work schedules but then put in to have off. I have no tolerance for that. I always RSVP! Some people have no manners

Positanochick Posted: Aug 18, 2010 11:17 AM

Re: RSVP frustration...

This is one of my biggest pet peeves - I just don't understand why its so diffucult to rsvp - either you're coming or you're not. I think it's ridiculous when you have to start calling people that didn't respond - its just rude not to rsvp! I respond right away when I get an invite, obv there are some circumstances where you have to wait on something else to see if you can go but at least let the people that are throwing the event know that instead of just not rsvping at all! I went through this for my engagement party and some people didn't respond then when I called they said yes but didn't let me know if they were bringing their bf/gf and it went back and forth until a couple of days before. Then we had a few people that said they were coming and never showed up - at least one couple still sent a gift but I just don't get ppl sometimes. YOU are not the rude one they are! So don't feel bad! Ok I'm done venting - like I said one of my pet peeves lol

win01 Posted: Aug 18, 2010 12:02 PM

Re: RSVP frustration...

I would say that I need a count by x as I have to put my final floral count in for centerpieces and the RH needs a number. My florist is asking for the info a week after my rsvp, as I don't know how many tables I will need until the count is in, and I don't want to buy extra flowers I don't need...
Sorry for the stress..I know I will be doing the same thing in two weeks.

Moonmist09 Posted: Aug 18, 2010 02:13 PM

Re: RSVP frustration...

there is no excuse. period.
when you first got the invite there was an rsvp date.
no matter what, you knew you would have to respond by that date. if you had something else to do, you could either reschedule or not go to th e wedding. if you have work conflicts, you knew about this event 8 weeks in advance so you could make arrangements.
i will not be giving anyone the audacity to say to me, 'i'll let you know'. i would say if your not too sure, its fine. i'll see you at the next event.
forget about the seating charts - you have to finalize how much everything will COST!!! does no one think about this as guests? you have to make sure you have enough for everything and every brie knows how hard it is to pull money together at the last minute. unreal.

Susan2010 Posted: Aug 18, 2010 07:53 PM

Re: RSVP frustration...

My RSVP date is next Friday- out of 170- still missing about 65. For my side I have been sending some prelimary emails saying 'the rsvp date is not until, the 27th but I didn't get your reply so I just want to make sure you got your invite'. Hoping that will prompt some people to mail it back before the date. FH called FMIL and she will contact people, but not until the RSVP date has past. I want to say come on- can't you call and drop some hints!! I am sure there will be calls to be made. I will have to have a prepared response for anyone who asks for more time! AND tell FMIL what to say to anyone who asks for more time!