My RSVP date to the wedding was May 28th. We got back most of the rsvps....
We are not inviting children to the wedding besides our 2 flower girls.
I have a 1 yr old nephew & my FH has a 5yr old niece (who is a flower girl) and 2- 1yr old neice and nephew (they are twins).
The babies are not coming to the wedding. I had to tell my FMIL that the babies couldn't come. That went over fine.
Today, my cousin who is on leave from fighting in Afghanistan calls my parents' house and leaves a message on the answering machine to say that he has a question about my wedding.
It's probably to ask if he and his wife can bring his 1yr old and 3 yr old to the wedding b/c they are out of state.....
I feel bad saying no, but if I say yes, then this may open the door for my other cousin (his brother) to think it's okay to bring his 2 kids and he still hasnt rsvp'ed yet!
The invites were only to Mr. & Mrs.
So, clearly no kids. UGHHHHHH!!!!!!
PS---We are scared to call back
Jmrosa1
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
obviously some people do not read!!!! Hopefully thats not why they are calling.
legalchef
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
honestly, given that he's on leave i would have a really hard time saying no if i were in your situation. i don't know how long the leave is or if he has a specific return date yet, but i'd imagine he wants to get as much time in with the kids as possible...
Future Mrs Snuggle Bunny
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
If he has been deployed an entire year and is willing to make the trip to come to your wedding...I would say he could be the exception.
Future Mrs Snuggle Bunny
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
R&R leave is 15 days for a year deployment.
Supermans
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
Posted by legalchef
honestly, given that he's on leave i would have a really hard time saying no if i were in your situation. QUOTE]
This. If he's been in Afganistan, you can make the 'sacrafice' of having his kids at you wedding.
If anybody else gives you a problem for his special treatment, tell them to enlist.
Kelli218
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
UGH.... We have been in a similar situation with several out-of-state cousins who have small children... and again if we said 'yes'... It would open a huge can a worms and cause more problems in the end.
Fh and I have would have to invite 40 kids total if we were 'fair' and invited everyone. At $155 PP.... It just can't happen!! AND to be honest, I don't want 40 kids running around at my wedding!
I have several cousins who have RSVPed with their children included, when again the envelopes were addressed to Mr. and Mrs..... So frustrating and of course we feel bad... but we just can't swing it!!
KarynK
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
I would allow him to bring the kids. Only him. Simply say due to his circumstance, he is allowed, no one else. When we planned the wedding, we knew our 2 nephews were coming, they are 1.5 and 9 months. We had a local cousin asking my MIL if she could bring her 9 and 11 y.o., we said no. One cousin from Seattle with her 4 month old. I had 2 other guests bring their children. One was from California and the other from Buffalo area. We allowed the Buffalo kids (2 y.o and 5 y.o) to come only because MIL said it was okay. The reason for that is the hubby, who is a cop, could not get off and there is literally no one to watch the kids. And the younger one had a very bad skull fracture and is wearing a helmet. (fell off island counter and instead of skull breaking outwards, it went into her brain- no major complications thankfully) All these kids and we didn't have to pay for them. MIL offered to pay for the 2y.o and 5y.o, but there were no charge. Not to sound shallow or mean, but we didn't care if someone who lived near by got 'hurt' that we allowed these kids. It's our wedding, we were paying for it. I know a lot of them wanted to bring kids, but we said no. No sorry's, no sympathy. Just a simple and stern no. Sorry so long.
Yankeeelove
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
Posted by Kelli218
UGH.... We have been in a similar situation with several out-of-state cousins who have small children... and again if we said 'yes'... It would open a huge can a worms and cause more problems in the end.
Fh and I have would have to invite 40 kids total if we were 'fair' and invited everyone. At $155 PP.... It just can't happen!! AND to be honest, I don't want 40 kids running around at my wedding!
I have several cousins who have RSVPed with their children included, when again the envelopes were addressed to Mr. and Mrs..... So frustrating and of course we feel bad... but we just can't swing it!!
I completely agree...I don't want alot of kids running around at my wedding either. It's supposed to be an evening elegant affair...not a romper room w/ strollers surrounding the beautifully decorated room that I'm spending so much money and time planning.
Plus not to mention, some of the kids are over the age of two and I would have to pay for them and I can't afford it. But if I let the kids under two come I have to let EVERYONE's kids come to be fair. So I'm not giving anyone special treatment, just making it fair across the board. I still don't understand why people have such a hard time understanding this
ItalianBella1122
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
Posted by legalchef
honestly, given that he's on leave i would have a really hard time saying no if i were in your situation. i don't know how long the leave is or if he has a specific return date yet, but i'd imagine he wants to get as much time in with the kids as possible...
I agree. If anyone asks why they were allowed to bring their kids then explain that. That should be enough to make them sit down and shut up.
quirkybride
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
We were originally thinking no kids, but then I felt bad about close relatives out of towners and them figuring out what to do with their kids. And some of them just started talking about bringing their kids before invites and I felt bad telling them no. I really didnt' want to deal with babies....but whatever.
itbroi805
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
Posted by BrideCarrieC
My RSVP date to the wedding was May 28th. We got back most of the rsvps....
We are not inviting children to the wedding besides our 2 flower girls.
I have a 1 yr old nephew & my FH has a 5yr old niece (who is a flower girl) and 2- 1yr old neice and nephew (they are twins).
The babies are not coming to the wedding. I had to tell my FMIL that the babies couldn't come. That went over fine.
Today, my cousin who is on leave from fighting in Afghanistan calls my parents' house and leaves a message on the answering machine to say that he has a question about my wedding.
It's probably to ask if he and his wife can bring his 1yr old and 3 yr old to the wedding b/c they are out of state.....
I feel bad saying no, but if I say yes, then this may open the door for my other cousin (his brother) to think it's okay to bring his 2 kids and he still hasnt rsvp'ed yet!
The invites were only to Mr. & Mrs.
So, clearly no kids. UGHHHHHH!!!!!!
PS---We are scared to call back
It's def a tough situation! You can tell him that you didn't invite any ones elses kids so you don't want to say yes to him but not to everyone else. Maybe he will be totally cool with it.
You could always tell him that you are not having kids but you understand that he's on leave etc so he can be the exception. Tell him not to tell his brother and maybe you can always say he just brought them or they called last minute and said that they had to bring them or not come at all because the babysitter fell through or something.
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
This is a special circumstance with your cousin who's on leave... I say let him and everyone else say no.
I am already dealing with the possibility of this, first I wanted no kids except my FG, but I have friends from out of state that have a young boy and I want them coming so I told her it'd be fine if they all attended.
BrideCarrieC
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
Well, he could be just calling about a hotel. But, we aren't going to tell him he can't bring the kids if he does ask. . If the kids come, I am just going to make like I didn't know in case my FMIL ever asks about it. Thanks all for the advice!
JuneBride14
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
Posted by Supermans
Posted by legalchef
honestly, given that he's on leave i would have a really hard time saying no if i were in your situation. QUOTE]
This. If he's been in Afganistan, you can make the 'sacrafice' of having his kids at you wedding.
If anybody else gives you a problem for his special treatment, tell them to enlist.
This- given his occupation and if he only gets 15 days for a years service then i would want him to have as much time with his kids because it has to be soooo hard to be away especially given all the risks....
CristinD83
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Re: RSVP ISSUES-Relatives asking about kids!
Ughh I have the same issue going on! After talking with a close friend of mine (who got married 2 yrs ago and had a similar issue) about how to go about the invitation so ppl would get that their kids aren't invited she comes out and asks me if she can bring her baby. Long story short I actually just emailed her last night telling her she couldn't bc its gonna cause too many problems. And not for nothing but she has this set routine with getting her daughter to bed at a certain time..so you're gonna come to my wedding for 2 hrs then leave?! People have to understand that you're not doing it to be an A-hole against their kids but like you said, you bring one you gotta bring them all and thats not fair to you. So now for my response cards, I'm actually hand writing couple's names specifically on a few ppl so they know its them thats invited and not their kids. I get he's on leave but its only 6 hours...leave the kids at home and enjoy the night. I know I don't have kids yet but I just don't get it.
Thanks for letting me vent, I know this sucks but I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this,
