Im bringing this thread to the 09 brides for your thoughts and experience....I dont know if Im old fashioned, but I always thought if you were invited to a wedding and didnt attend that you should send something, even just a card. Is that silly? And if you went to their wedding and they didnt come to yours should they send something and vica versa?
I found this out the hardway because alot of people who RSVP'd no did not send anything. So Im curious should I be bothered or thats how it is?
geegee827
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
I always send a wedding gift even if I don't go to the wedding. Usually if I'm not going to attend, I will send something off the registry and I'll send it closer to or right after the wedding date.
We got a few checks from people who RSVP'd no - I'd say it was about 10% of the people who RSVP'd no.
springsandra
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
Posted by Lovebug2016
Im bringing this thread to the 09 brides for your thoughts and experience....I dont know if Im old fashioned, but I always thought if you were invited to a wedding and didnt attend that you should send something, even just a card. Is that silly? And if you went to their wedding and they didnt come to yours should they send something and vica versa?
I found this out the hardway because alot of people who RSVP'd no did not send anything. So Im curious should I be bothered or thats how it is?
It totally depends on the situation. I've done both myself -- most of the time I'd send a small gift if we couldn't attend, but I've also not sent a gift at all. The couple I didn't send a gift to got married out of state and I hadn't seen the bride in over 5 years at the time. I was a little embarrassed because they actually came to our wedding, but they gave us a very small token gift, which was nice of them and made me feel better that they didn't get us something huge since I never did send them anything. Our wedding was the first time I'd met my friend's husband (they'd been married 3 years by that time I think).
For us, most of our OOT guests who did not attend did not send gifts. Those who did not come whose weddings we went to did send us gifts about equal to what we had given them. Some gave gifts from our registry around $50 even though they didn't attend, some closer to $100.
We had a lot of OOT guests who came and gave no gifts. Which was also fine.
So, the bottom line of all this rambling -- do what you feel comfortable with, but don't expect everyone to do exactly the same.
meg922
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
Posted by springsandra
Posted by Lovebug2016
.
So, the bottom line of all this rambling -- do what you feel comfortable with, but don't expect everyone to do exactly the same.
ITA! I usually send a gift, even if I can't attend the wedding. Although, I don't normally send the check with the RSVP. I usually send it separately with a wedding card.
We did have one or two people send us checks when they RSVP'd no, but for the most part, those that did not attend did not send gifts.
We also had two couples that did attend and did not give us so much as a card.
xosweetiexo
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
We did have like 2 people who RSVP'd no and did send a gift.
We also had like 2 people who DID attend the wedding and didnt even get us a card. It still annoys me just thinking about it. Those people did NOT get a thank you card from us!
AugustBridein09
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
We had a few No responses send checks...we also had some No responses w/o a gift at all. It depends I guess.
allegracristina
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
Personally it depends on a lot of things. If I'm not close to the couple I won't send a gift. If I am, I will. We got some gifts from my parents' and his parents' friends who said no. Not a ton, maybe about 8? Anyway, I think people do what they can, and what they 'know' to do. Some people just don't know that they should send a gift. Some people can't.
KerriJohnS
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
this is something i wouldn't ever get mad or upset over. RSVP no and gifts all depends on the situation. first and foremost.. not all people know or believe sending a gift when RSVPing no is proper etiquette. that being said.. i think it depends on how close you are to the couple and the reason they couldn't attend in the first place.
I was invited to 2 baby showers that I couldn't attend... and I sent a gift each time. Both girls attended my wedding and one attended my shower and I felt it was right to send a gift even though one girl I really didn't even know (the baby's father is who I know).
I didn't expect any gifts from anyone who RSVP'd no to my wedding. It's better to just not expect it and let it be a pleasant surprise should it occur.
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
Posted by KerriJohnS
this is something i wouldn't ever get mad or upset over. RSVP no and gifts all depends on the situation. first and foremost.. not all people know or believe sending a gift when RSVPing no is proper etiquette. that being said.. i think it depends on how close you are to the couple and the reason they couldn't attend in the first place.
I was invited to 2 baby showers that I couldn't attend... and I sent a gift each time. Both girls attended my wedding and one attended my shower and I felt it was right to send a gift even though one girl I really didn't even know (the baby's father is who I know).
I didn't expect any gifts from anyone who RSVP'd no to my wedding. It's better to just not expect it and let it be a pleasant surprise should it occur.
ITA!
mcbride62009
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
I had four people who attended who didnt give anything... that ******!
KerriJohnS
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
Posted by mcbride62009
I had four people who attended who didnt give anything... that ******!
Now THIS is a bummer!! I DEF had quite a few of these!! and 2 of them were in the bridal party. then a few others.
and I also got a $25 visa gift card (with a $5 activation charge too) in one envelope from 2 adults. Other pretty sad gifts too. But there isn't anything you can do without you looking bad yourself so it's just best to not let it eat at you.
LadyDuda81509
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
some did for me and some didnt! some people atteneding the wedding and didnt give a gift! lol at the time it bothered me but now im like whatever!
Lovebug2016
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Re: RSVP'ing No with no gift?
Posted by LadyDuda81509
some did for me and some didnt! some people atteneding the wedding and didnt give a gift! lol at the time it bothered me but now im like whatever!
I feel the same way now...DH and I find it comical now. But Im just glad I know I dont always have to give a gift when we are not attending a wedding and are not close with a couple.
