Sad 4th this year...I need help..

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:09 PM

Sad 4th this year...I need help..

I have such an issue this year with the 4th of July. It was always a very special holiday for my mom and her fiance, they loved sharing it together so suffice it to say..she is dreading this year. He always bbq'ed and then we went on the roof for the Macys display but I dont think she can handle either one of those this year

I was thinking of trying to do somehting totally different for her but I have no idea what? Does anyone have any suggestions as to where to go or what to do??? I really want to help her. I know she wont be 'happy' but I want her at least to be content. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:17 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

jennbaby Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:23 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

I lost someone and certain places I used to go with him, I can't anymore.

Take her out to a nice dinner somewhere.
But be sure to take her out, maybe somewhere where there isn't a big to do with fireworks.

dandj Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:31 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

Hey Noreen ---

What about going to the beach for the day and then out to dinner somewhere quiet. Maybe a movie or an off-Broadway play - something fun but not very July 4thish. Just an idea......

Marnles Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:39 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

I like the beach idea too Noreen - I definitely think a night out could help do the trick, but not making a big thing out of it so it doesn't feel like you're trying to distract her...good luck with it! If I think of anything else, I'll let you know...

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:44 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

I love the ideas but....the beach thing is so out because we are all whiter than MILK!!!!! lol

Cant stand the beach so I know I cant do that but maybe a nice dinner?

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:45 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

I was looking for things in Ct actually just to get her outta here for a while but then again I dont want her to think that we have totally forgotten all about him and the traditions we used to have ya know?

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:47 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

I think a nice diner is a great idea. Maybe your mom's favorite restuarant. Maybe you can call ahead and order a bottle of champagne or her favorite win to be their when you arrive or arrange to have flowers at the table for her.

A nice diner is definatly a nice idea

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:51 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

The hardest thing for me was the morning of July 4 2000 my mom telling me we weren't going to grandma's and poppy's to celebrate like we always do. Instead we are going for sadder reasons. I think what hurt even more was on the 12th I was turning 21 and my poppy promised me that for my 21st birthday I could go to the bar he always goes too and have a drink with him. Something I have wanted to do with him my whole life.

The following year I dreaded the 4th of July. I just wish it didnt exist.

The way I found comfort was not by running from the holiday, but rather embracing it. Even though my poppy wasnt their with me physically, I lit a candle for him, had a drink for him, and i knew he was smiling down and laughing with me.

Its hard, believe me I know, but try to embrace the good and hold on to those moments rather then focussing on how sad things are.

edited to add: so ever since my poppy's passing I look forward to the 4th of july and reflect on the good times I had with him, the fun I had with him and even though its one more year that he is gone it was a holiday I got to always spend with him and I will continue to celebrate it in his honor

Karen H Posted: Jun 26, 2003 07:05 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

A tour of the north fork and the winery region is always nice - especially if you like wine and stop at some of the places for sampling. All the farmland out there makes you feel like you've left the island. Out near the end (Greenport?) is a nice restaurant on the water. I always find the whole north fork trip calming like a mini-vacation.

corinne7477 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 08:39 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

but good things happen on the 4th too. people are getting married. its my birthday too!

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:30 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

No one said that good things didnt happen on the 4th. We know that life still goes on but we are sharing experiences. Not trying to damper anyones day. Thats what makes us who we are and not a carbon copy of each other!

michele31 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:49 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

maybe you can take her to a broadway show- that would really put her mind someplace else.
I know how sad those 'dates' are and in some ways there is nothing better than a good cry- as hard as it is to experience.

corinne7477 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 10:00 PM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

SORRY i was just trying to say take sad days and try to turn them into happy days. my grandma dies on april 12 last year and this year we had out fil's meet my parents and even though we were sad wanted to replace it with happy memories and we all ended up having a nice time we did talk about my grandma a little bit but she would have been happy.

pschica Posted: Jun 27, 2003 09:59 AM

Re: Sad 4th this year...I need help..

it will be a hard one for us too - last year we had a big double fmaily (mine and fh's) bbq at fh's parents house......this year we will all be thinking about it too - we're still trying for diff ideas too!!