sad but need your help UPDATED

Original post by needyouradviceplease

Sep 17, 2004 07:44 AM

Hi everyone. I am using a fake name because I don't want you all feeling badly for me. I need your help. Please.

This year has been a horrible one for me but I seem to keep smiling somehow. I think now I'm losing my hope. Here's the scoop. FH and I got engaged in Dec. last year. That's the good part. Then my dad and FH both got menengitus within 2 months of one another starting in February this year and almost died. They are both fine now but gosh what a horrible couple of months. In the middle of them both being sick, I was diagnosed with melanoma and told I can't be in the sun anymore which is my favorite thing to do. So I have to change my lifestyle..Oh well things could be worse (which i'm finding out unfortunately.) Now this past weekend, my mom who had breast cancer 3 years ago was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. They think the breast cancer came back and metastesized into the brain from the lung. That's best case scenario because they can treat the breast cancer if that's all it is. If it's lung cancer that went to the brain it is much more serious. I can't believe this is happening. My dilemma of course is do I move the wedding up or do I hope for the best and keep it over the summer 2005. My mom and I discussed it and she wants me to keep it where it is. She is hopeful that they can treat her but my family and I are not so sure. I know it will upset her if I move it but I want her to be there. I can't fathom having a wedding without my mother there.
Am I being selfish by wanting to move it up and have her there? Will it make her feel worse if I move it up? Will it make her feel like I think she is dying? But what if she is? Oh i'm sorry its so long but I just don't know what to do. I'm DONE with this year already..It's been nothing but heartache. Thanks for listening all. I hope no one ever has to make this decision.

curliegirl Posted: Feb 21, 2005 05:13 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

Just reading your story makes me feel horrible for whining about the little BS things going on in everyday life. While your story is heartbreaking, take solace in knowing you make others appreciate what they have a little bit more. Your mother's smiling face will be in your heart on your wedding day and always, she is now your guardian angel. God Bless and Be Strong.

Your story gives strength to all of us to make it throught the 'little' things that are so insignificant, and for that I am grateful. I needed to stop and remember to live each day to the fullest and tell my mom I love her. Thank You

anjerandunder Posted: Feb 28, 2005 08:08 AM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED

Okay..So i'll let the cat out of the bag in case you haven't all figured it out by my avatar...I am the sory sappy soul who has 'neededyouradviceplease.' I lost my mom on the 16th and I'm sad but I know that she is by my side everyday and that she will be with me on my wedding day. I am now one of a trillion who will need to go through my special day without a member of my loved ones.

Just wanted to say thank you personally under my real identity. It was a big help knowing that even though you all don't know me from eve, you were all still thinking of me and mom and giving us positive thoughts.

Shorty McBride Posted: Feb 28, 2005 08:16 AM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED

Posted by anjerandunder

Okay..So i'll let the cat out of the bag in case you haven't all figured it out by my avatar...I am the sory sappy soul who has 'neededyouradviceplease.' I lost my mom on the 16th and I'm sad but I know that she is by my side everyday and that she will be with me on my wedding day. I am now one of a trillion who will need to go through my special day without a member of my loved ones.

Just wanted to say thank you personally under my real identity. It was a big help knowing that even though you all don't know me from eve, you were all still thinking of me and mom and giving us positive thoughts.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

suven Posted: Feb 28, 2005 08:35 AM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED

Posted by anjerandunder

Okay..So i'll let the cat out of the bag in case you haven't all figured it out by my avatar...I am the sory sappy soul who has 'neededyouradviceplease.' I lost my mom on the 16th and I'm sad but I know that she is by my side everyday and that she will be with me on my wedding day. I am now one of a trillion who will need to go through my special day without a member of my loved ones.

Just wanted to say thank you personally under my real identity. It was a big help knowing that even though you all don't know me from eve, you were all still thinking of me and mom and giving us positive thoughts.

Kelly9904 Posted: Feb 28, 2005 08:51 AM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED

Again I just wanted to say How sorry I am that you are going through this.....
When I read your post you said 'my heart is broken' this really touched me because I have been saying to DH that this is how I feel after the loss of my mom! Its been a hard 4 months for me and my family but somehow you do manage to go on and find a way to live your life! Even though somedays you really dont want to!
Please remember if you need anything there are a lot of women on these boards who have lost a parent and are more than willing to lend an ear or shoulder to cry upon! I know for me it sometimes helps to have someone who can understand what its like to feel that broken heart!

anjerandunder Posted: Feb 28, 2005 10:01 AM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED

Posted by Kelly9904

Again I just wanted to say How sorry I am that you are going through this.....
When I read your post you said 'my heart is broken' this really touched me because I have been saying to DH that this is how I feel after the loss of my mom! Its been a hard 4 months for me and my family but somehow you do manage to go on and find a way to live your life! Even though somedays you really dont want to!
Please remember if you need anything there are a lot of women on these boards who have lost a parent and are more than willing to lend an ear or shoulder to cry upon! I know for me it sometimes helps to have someone who can understand what its like to feel that broken heart!

thank you