I finally announced my engagement on Christmas eve and day. I've been hounding my best friend for a week before Christmas that I really wanted to see her. She said she would catch up with me since she would be out here with her family (she lives in the city and RARELY comes out here). I called her on Christmas and asked her if I could see her because I had a gift for her and her son. She said,'Well I'll try, but Im going back to the city to hang out with my BF.' I wasnt asking for the whole day, I was just asking to see her for 1/2 an hour. I was at my FH's family's house when she called and I missed her call. She said she couldnt wait anymore and was heading back to the city. But good news, her brother just announced HE'S GETTING MARRIED. Ughhhh!!!! They are having a big party on Friday (that just passed) and that if I WANTED, I could pass by her mothers house to see her. I made the decision not to pass by becuase it sounded like I was inconveniencing her and second because I would be rude of me to rain in on her brother's thunder. Im so sad, because she's the last to know and I wanted to ask her to be my MOH. Now Im rethinking the whole idea. I've been clinically depressed that last 4 months and since she started dating this guy, she hasnt even called me to see how In doing. Im starting to question our friendship. Girls, what should I do? Update: I finally told her on New years and she was really excited. I asked her to be a bridesmaid, not the maid of homor because I know she is just going to be unreliable. Anyway, she just wrote me this horrible email and said, I quote, 'i miss you a lot I'm sorry i don't write or call a lot but since you were having your bouts with depression I felt I should back off a bit' Im am soooooo heated right now!!!!
Maribelle7777
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Re: Sad that MOH doesnt know Im engaged...Long
I would not be too upset. Holidays are a busy time and she doesnt know why you want to see her - if you said 'it's something you'll be excited about' she would probably set aside the time for you
neesiepie
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Re: Sad that MOH doesnt know Im engaged...Long
I am sure that if she knew you were calling her to ask her to be your MOH, that she would have been 100% available for you. She has no idea and things are so hectic with the holidays, she probably feels stressed.... sometimes we lose touch with even our closest friends as we grow older. It's so hard to get together and we take our friends for granted. How are things when you are together? Like no time has passed? Like you can pick up right where ya left off? That is what is important. We all have different priorities at diff. times in our lives. Right now yours is your wedding and hers may be her new boyfriend....but eventually, as your MOH or BM, she will make you a priority.
divabride
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Re: Sad that MOH doesnt know Im engaged...Long
I never thought about it that way neeseepie. That's a very good point. You hit the nail on the head when we get together it's like I just saw her yesterday. I have an appt with my doc today and I'll run the whole situation by her and see what she says.
neesiepie
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Re: Sad that MOH doesnt know Im engaged...Long
the reason I say this is b/c I know how you feel...it's the same way with my best friend. I hardly see her, and for a while I was very upset and hurt, but then I realized that when get together, we laugh somuch and have an awesome time, and that with her being married and pregnant, and me being newly engaged, we have diff. priorities. I used to get mad when she had to do the hubby's family thing...now I understand.....
Nora101004
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Re: Sad that MOH doesnt know Im engaged...Long
Well, I'd be reconsidering asking her too. You don't have to ask everyone to be in your bridal party the week you get engaged. You have so much time before the wedding I'd wait a bit and see how it goes. Keep in mind, it might hurt her if she knows other people we asked already.
divabride
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Re: Sad that MOH doesnt know Im engaged...Long
Rethinking this whole friendship....what do you think?
shelly3950
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Re: Sad that MOH doesnt know Im engaged...Long
Some people just don't know how to handle certain situations. WHen I lost my dad, a lot of my friends didn't know what to say, so they said nothing. I talked to them, told them what I needed and gave them another chance. Some rose to the occassion, some didn't.
She may have just made a bad judgment call on how to deal with the drepression. I would suggest you tell her what you need from her, then see if she does it. If she doesn't, then F*ck her. I know it sounds harsh, I lost my 2 of my best friends when my dad died. But the ones who were there for me then, have shone through (that was 7 years ago). Some people just don;t know what to say or do. Some people are just too selfish to care. You need to figure out which one she is.
