Save the Date Question

i am getting ready to order my save the dates (because they’re finally on sale this week!) and was wondering about who to send them to.

i was going to send them to just about everyone we're inviting, give or take a few. we're only going to have around 100 ppl, so i figure i can send them out to just about everyone. my problem is with the following situations
1 - we had an engagement party in march - most of our folks came. however, should we send a save the date to those who (in my brutally honest opinion) didn’t make much of an effort to be at the party? obviously they will be invited to the wedding, as i understand the etiquette that if they're invited to the party, they must be invited to the wedding. but should they receive a save the date card?
2 - when addressing the save the dates, should we put 'm__and guest' or just address it to our direct contact? and what happens if we allowed them to bring someone last min to the eng. party, but may not permit a guest at the wedding? is this fair? for the save the dates, I’m thinking perhaps we could get away with just sending to our direct contact and leave the whole 'with or without a guest' issue for the invitations themselves.

thanks for reading - what drama. who would've thought something so silly would make me so crazy.

I would send a save the date to everyone who is definitely going to be invited. If you don't plan on sending invites to some of the people that didn't come to the eparty, then don't send save the dates.

I wouldn't put ___ & guest - save that for the actual invitation.

I sent them to the people who were invited to the engagement party and then a few other definites. I left of the work people and the parents friends who could be eliminated.

i addressed to the person and excluded '& guest' on it, unless I knew the guest and wrote that name on it as well.

hth!

Learn form my experience..

be VERY selective about your STDs.


I sent mine out 10 months in advance and I regretted some of them. Just send to family and BP.

I plan on sending mine out to the family and friends who I know I want to be there. As far as addressing them, I would address it directly to the guest you want to invite. Things may change on their end or on yours so I would save the 'and guest' for the formal wedding invitation. Hope this helps!

wow... harsh - but i completely understand how you feel. glad that im not the only one who was extremely hurt when i didnt hear back from people. esp since they were invited since we considered them to be 'close friends'

and thank you for recommending that i be very selective on the save the dates - i may take that into consideration; afterall it will save me more $$ :) always a bonus!

thank you everyone for responding - i feel a little better about this!

We are sending to only the people we know for sure will be invited to the wedding.

As bad as this sounds, we are not inviting eveyone to our wedding that was at our engagment party. We didn't really pick our invite list for the parties(yes we had two, FH parents are divorced and some drama there, so they each threw one). So the family that was there will be invited but thats it. We are already cutting some of our friends that we want tobe at the wedding off the list to get under our maxium number of 220, so some of the parents friends are going to need to be cut off too.....I feel awful about it, but what can we do.

I did not have an engagement party and am going to be sending out STD's this summer. I am planning to send them to people I definitely want at the wedding, such as family, the BP, and close friends.

For example, my parents friends are not all getting STD's bc they probably will wind up on a B list in the end, and may not get an invite if our headcount is too high.

HTH!

I am sending save the dates to those who I am 100% sure I am inviting to the wedding. Family, BP and extremely close friends.

I wouldn't address it as & guest because that holds you to giving that person a guest.