SAVE THE DATE Regrets

Tori9299 Posted: May 01, 2008 07:19 PM

SAVE THE DATE Regrets

I sent mine out at the one year mark and WISH I NEVER SENT THEM. After going over the guest list to cut back NOW my dad is like why are you inviting certain members of the family? I was like I thought I had to and my mom told me to. (And yes we all live in the same house, I left the family list up to my mom) So now what????
If I sent a STD I have to send an invite right? I really want to cut back some how.

jeanyus27 Posted: May 01, 2008 07:23 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

Yeah, i went by the rule that if the got a STD then they should get an invite. People on my B list did not get a STD, but ended up getting the invitation. Don't forget, you will still get some no's, i think they say about 20% usually RSVP no. So maybe it won't be so bad.

bluegreen08 Posted: May 01, 2008 07:24 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

you have to send it. there are 3-4 people i wish i didnt send STDs to as well. live and learn

angl2001 Posted: May 01, 2008 07:58 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

they say whoever you send an STD to should be invited to the wedding....they will prob be expecting one........but in my case i sent STDs to a few aunts, iuncles and cousins and i didnt send them invites after all cause they are pieces of crap!!!!!!!!! lol i guess it depends maybe you will just get lucky and they will say NO??

it will work out

dannisayz Posted: May 01, 2008 08:58 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

I am in the same situation as you. There are people who received STDs who are not getting invites. Out list just got too out of control.

wo0shply Posted: May 02, 2008 01:30 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

sigh i know how you feel. FH and I are having problems with the guest list cause his mom keeps adding people to the list.. and its relatives that FH doesnt even speak to. He think's they're not going to come but what happens if they do!

sigh...

Munchkn16 Posted: May 02, 2008 08:37 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

I only did that in one case. A friend of mine hadn't spoken to me, responded to emails, or returned my calls for 8 months. They got an STD, but I didn't invite him.

mariaobride Posted: May 02, 2008 08:42 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

oh how frustrating don't panic just yet because you may get some no's anyway unfortunately if I sent someone a STD I would have to follow through with the invite some relatives I had to invite out of respect that I wasn't too fond of they aren't coming anyway

bluegreen08 Posted: May 02, 2008 08:54 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

i sent STDs to 3 of my law school friends but we dont hang out anymore and dont talk much so I'm afraid when we send our invites out they are going to be like.... wtfmate? why did she invite us?

im a little embarrassed but what can ya do?

oktom22 Posted: May 02, 2008 09:14 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

I have a question along these lines, we sent out STD's and some people responded already saying they wouldn't be able to come...ie babies due and trips booked...soooo do I send those people invites?? B/c I know they're going to say no?

A bunch of people thought the Save the Dates were the INVITEs

mrsjpc3 Posted: May 03, 2008 11:08 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

I think sending STD's are a nice idea, but I really really wish I didnt do it. Some people asked FH, 'I heard so and so got a STD, and I didnt..' etc etc. I also feel there will be a few people we sent STD's to that I dont want to, or plan on inviting now. It's more FH's side than mine, but honestly, it turned out to be a big pain in the A$$ dealing with this after the fact.

MyLobster Posted: May 03, 2008 11:12 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

Posted by oktom22

I have a question along these lines, we sent out STD's and some people responded already saying they wouldn't be able to come...ie babies due and trips booked...soooo do I send those people invites?? B/c I know they're going to say no?

A bunch of people thought the Save the Dates were the INVITEs

Tough call...etiquette says yes send them an invite anyway to show you want them to share your day even though you know they can't be there.

ME? I say don't if it's a $ issue. If it's not a money issue then send them. Invites are and if it will save you money then don't bother just call them around the time they would have gotten the invites and say 'we are very sorry you couldn't attend' so if they hear about the invites they know it's bc they couldn't come anyway...

does that make sense??

jeanne08 Posted: May 03, 2008 11:16 AM

.

MyLobster Posted: May 03, 2008 11:16 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

Posted by Tori9299

I sent mine out at the one year mark and WISH I NEVER SENT THEM. After going over the guest list to cut back NOW my dad is like why are you inviting certain members of the family? I was like I thought I had to and my mom told me to. (And yes we all live in the same house, I left the family list up to my mom) So now what????
If I sent a STD I have to send an invite right? I really want to cut back some how.

Yes you do have to invite them. The save the date is telling them to block off that day on the calendar for your wedding (formal invitation to follow). We only sent STD's to those we KNEW we would be inviting no matter what.

What you could do is have an adult only reception if you're not already. That should cut some people. Also no + guests for those under 21 instead of 18 (I heard of people doing that as well). OR if there's no significant other, then no + guest...tough call! Sorry if I didn't help much!

Kerin2804 Posted: May 03, 2008 11:55 AM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

Same here. There are one or two people I wish I did not senf a STD to. Yes, I think you should send invite to them. It is only right and there willbe some no rsvp responses. Don't worry

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: May 03, 2008 12:51 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

wow thats so frustrating..but i did follow that rule also..unfortunately I think its rude to send std's but no invites

jaep129 Posted: May 03, 2008 12:58 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

I am sorry to hear. I think if you sent a STD they should get an invite. My mom asked if we were doing STD's but I said no b/c of this situation. My friend sent out STD's and didnt want to invite them b/c over time they stopped talking and so she didnt invite 3 or 4 of htem. Some called adn told her they were insulted. Well the H*ll with them but I think its the right thing to do!

Tori9299 Posted: May 03, 2008 01:17 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

thanks for all your help. I just wish Never sent them at all.

agraydc Posted: May 03, 2008 01:28 PM

Re: SAVE THE DATE Regrets

i would try to invite all the people you sent STDs to, it is what you are supposed to do, but in numbers are out of control you will have to do what you have to do...
just tell people if they ask, that you had to cut things back and sorry its going to be a smaller than planned wedding....
good luck