DH and I both really do want kids. And i know I'm ready for one, but we are both really scared about having them. About your life not being your own anymore, and every waking thought and action is for the baby. Did anyone else feel this way, what did you do to get over it? I know its all worth it when the baby comes, but how can I ease his fears? One second he's saying things like 'start making baby blankets' then the next second he's freaking out. Need some advice please. Thank you!
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: Scared about having kids... need advice
Honestly, you'll probably have these feelings until the minute you deliver your baby.
Your life WILL change dramatically, mainly for the better, and once you hold your baby in your arms, you'll be so sure that you made the right decision.
Good luck!!
AliKing
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Re: Scared about having kids... need advice
I dont have a child, but I would imagine that these fears stay with you until you actually meet your child.. I have the same fears as you, but I think the reward in the end will make all those fears disappear. Think of it this way, you're not loosing your life as it is, you are making it more exciting. Do you have any friends or family members who have babies? Especially newborns? Maybe plan some time to spend with them so your DH can see how much fun it is going to be when you have your own... Are you pregnant, or just talking about it?
NervousAboutKids
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Re: Scared about having kids... need advice
we're just talking about it, and i'd like to start trying after the new year maybe. We have a few friends with kids already, and he loves kids and is great with them. But he's still nervous. I'm just afraid his nervousness will stop him from wanting to try when I do.
One friend is no help because he says to DH 'take your time having kids', but they didn't live together before marriage. We've lived together almost 3 years now.
februarybride
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Re: Scared about having kids... need advice
I feel the same way as your DH. One minute I can't wait to have children, the next I question it. I really enjoy the freedom that DH and I have now and know that once we have a child that freedom is no longer the same. I think it's good that we play both sides this way we are realistic about what will change. I've come to the realization that yes, our life and freedoms will change, but we won't think of things the same way. Like for example - Going to the movies. DH and I will go spur of the moment...once we have children it won't even cross our minds to spur of the moment - you know - it's not like we'll say 'Hey let's go to the movies' and then say 'Oh sh!t, we have kids'
My biggest fear is having a bad child.
AliKing
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Re: Scared about having kids... need advice
'One friend is no help because he says to DH 'take your time having kids', but they didn't live together before marriage. We've lived together almost 3 years now.'
Does your friend know that you are talking about having children? Maybe if you let them know, then they can talk about the 'fun' times rather than making it sound negative. As far as the living together situation, I agree with you. Dh and I lived together before we were married so I feel like I have been in that honeymoon stage for a long time... Its time for the next step!
ddunne23
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Re: Scared about having kids... need advice
If it helps, my baby is due in 5 weeks and I still have these feelings. For me, it is jumping into the biggest unknown of your life. It is scary. It is a very hard thing to swallow sometimes when I think that I will be somebodies mother for the rest of my life starting in a short 5 weeks. For me it is just hard to really imagine what day to day life will be once the baby arrives. But, I think it is important to remember that it is a change in your life, not an end to it. There can still be dinners out, movies, vacations...just with a little more planning. I'm sure it will be the best change ever once baby is born, but until then, I'm still a little freaked out.
Dee7772
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Re: Scared about having kids... need advice
I think everyone has these fears. Its scary to know taht you are going to have this little baby that you are going to be responsible for, for the rest of their life. I am terrified to have my baby, but it is a good terrified feeling, if you know what I mean.
