Second thoughts...help!

Ok, so originally FH and I wanted to do a DW in the Carribean somewhere. My parents (who are REALLY helping foot the bill of the wedding) said that they thought it was rude to assume some of our elderly guests would be able to travel to the wedding.

What they didn't undertsand 6 months ago was that we WANTED to keep it small and not have to invite relatives we havent seen in 10 years. We thought having a DW would be less stressful on us because only those who could make it would....and we would NEVER expect anyone else to attend. We would TOTALLLLLLLLLLY understand if they couldnt come.

In any case, I'm down visiting my parents now in Florida, and I casually brought it up in conversation. My parents NOW say 'Hey! Great! It would be a vacation for us!!!!'

!??!?!?!?!? They've done a COMPLETE 180!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you think? We've put the depost down on the Old Field Club...but could get it back if we cancelled. Should we do it?

My reasoning for NOT cancelling the OFC is that I'm afraid I'd regret it later (not having the whole big wedding experience). In my mind, I guess I could renew my vows in 5-10 years in the Carribean....

What do you think I should do?

I also had this thought after we had thought of the whole big wedding experience.

My mom and FH told me they know how much I wanted the big wedding and that I would regret not having my dream wedding.

I say go with your heart. You are right...you could always renew your vows on an island...

I say think it over...write a list of pros n cons of each...and when you are writing out on paper..u may be left with the decision you ultimately want.

hope that helps sweetie.

hey sweetie- i know how u feel b/c sometimes we feel like having a DW b/c having a wedding on LI can be so stressful especially when parents are involved. Definitely go with your gut- you cant go wrong with either- Let us know what u decide- let me know if u want to chat- i enjoyed our chat last night!!!! we're here for you

Ughhhhhhh - I dunno. I think I'll sleep on it...

My reasons against having a DW have nothing to do with how me or FH feel. It's more about 'Well, I feel bad for my guests paying plane fare and accommodations' or 'I dont want people to be annoyed and feel obligated to come'

Ya know? Does that make sense?

HEY! I know I'm knew and I totally KNOW where your coming from. I am going to STEP out on a limb here PLEASE do not get mad at me okay???

Have your dream wedding if it was the cinderella thing you wanted then do that. And then wisk away on a honeymoon in the carribean or where ever you wanted to go.

I was thinking of a DW and then I thought of how annoying ppl were going to be after the wedding. Knocking on the doors and not giving us enough space to have some NW QT.

And I also do not want you to cancel and then the rents change again!


DEFINATELY GO WITH UR HEART AND THAT GUT they are usually both RIGHT!

Thank youuuuuuu

I think we'll stay put at the OFC.

I just had one of those 'What the H3ll am I getting myself into!??????????!?!!!' moments, I think. When you start realizing how much has to be done and you start hyperventalating...!

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Posted by beachbum05

Thank youuuuuuu

I think we'll stay put at the OFC.

I just had one of those 'What the H3ll am I getting myself into!??????????!?!!!' moments, I think. When you start realizing how much has to be done and you start hyperventalating...!

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trust me i had that same feeling and FH assured me that 1- we will be able to afford the dream wedding 2- he didnt want me to give up the big wedding day bc he knows I have always wanted one.

the money is a scary situation...and i try not to stress but it just happens...i think i broke down 2 times already but he tells me when i work full time (after I graduate) I will know what a full time check looks like and it will be easier.

SIGH...i felt like i was reading something i wrote. I think all of us girls had that moment...but we all realize we dont want to give up the big 'all eyes on me' wedding.

i guess you know how i feel on this topic...
to us we know that we will be having our dream wedding...just in aruba intead of at home.

i have to tell you that everyone that we really want there except for my Nana will be there

everyone is sooooo excited ...i am getting so many phone calls from people b/c they just got the STD's

i can truely say that I know we made the right decision and the deposit that we had on the hilton was non refundable but they are letting me use if for my bridal shower so i wont lose the money totally

it all comes down to what u feel in ur heart is the right thing to do...not what other people think is right!

HTH

Agh! Oh, Kim, I'm glad you chimed in. How many people do you think are going to go to Aruba?

I'm so torn.

well we sent out std's to 180 ....am i figuring 75
but i am serious no one has told me no yet....
everyone is looking forward to a vacation!


it is so not stressful and probably the best decision i ever made in my whole life. the hotel does everything for me !