Sent out STD's and already issues with our no children policy....

this amazes me time and time again, that people feel they say that their children have to come or they can't because they can't find a babysitter!!!
1. how do you know you can't find a babysitter 9 months in advance
2. how did my and FH's parents always figure it out to get someone to watch us and our siblings for events like these...
3. I wont be strong armed into having children...mind you this isn't even immediate family pulling the stuff its friends and extended family.....if i have one child i have to have 20 and we just can't afford it
4. mind u i have also offered to have a babysitter arranged for them all at the hotel that they can all split the cost of, guess thats not enough either!

sorry so long, vent done!

I totally feel your pain. I'm just waiting, WAITING for someone else to say something about us not having children at our wedding. My uncle has already started with me being that my 6 year old cousin should be there. He's 6 years old! Both FH and I both agreed no kids PERIOD!
ugh makes me want to screeeeammm!!

I already went through this with my in-laws families.... we have a bo children policy and one of the famileis(who my Future husband has not even seen in a decade) said that it was rude so now he and his entire immediate family are no going. Oh well Boo hoo! Like I really care. God they can be so annoying at times!

Don't let them make you feel bad, let them find a sitter and if not will it bother you if they are not there?

Thank heavens!!! I am not the only one--Ya know..its just so annoying. I think that babysitter at the hotel is a great idea- That is what i have come up with as well..


Great minds think alike.

This amazes me too. I never even realized this was such an issue until I started planning my wedding. I do not have children, but I just can't see strong arming people into letting me bring my children to an event if they are not invited. I just don't get it.

PS: As soon as we sent out our STDs people started inquiring about their children.

Do you guys write no children on the STD?

I never knew this was such an issue until i spent time on this board. I am having kids at the wedding, I dont care...

For those who aren't having kids, it seems that everyone complains about other people wanting to bring their kids, is it really worth all the drama to not have kids?

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Posted by Tiggeruth

Do you guys write no children on the STD?

I never knew this was such an issue until i spent time on this board. I am having kids at the wedding, I dont care...

For those who aren't having kids, it seems that everyone complains about other people wanting to bring their kids, is it really worth all the drama to not have kids?

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Most of the time people say no to kids, not because they have 4 or 5 kids in mind but because you can have 20-30 kids. You multiply that, even half price, with what you are paying and that's a lot of cash. Also people might want to have a more adult like atmosphere which I think they are entitled to. So I disagree, it may very well be worth the drama.

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Posted by Tiggeruth

Do you guys write no children on the STD?

I never knew this was such an issue until i spent time on this board. I am having kids at the wedding, I dont care...

For those who aren't having kids, it seems that everyone complains about other people wanting to bring their kids, is it really worth all the drama to not have kids?

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People usually put 'Adult Reception' on the invite.

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Posted by leshellem

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Posted by Tiggeruth

Do you guys write no children on the STD?

I never knew this was such an issue until i spent time on this board. I am having kids at the wedding, I dont care...

For those who aren't having kids, it seems that everyone complains about other people wanting to bring their kids, is it really worth all the drama to not have kids?

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Most of the time people say no to kids, not because they have 4 or 5 kids in mind but because you can have 20-30 kids. You multiply that, even half price, with what you are paying and that's a lot of cash. Also people might want to have a more adult like atmosphere which I think they are entitled to. So I disagree, it may very well be worth the drama.

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Oh, I totally understand how having kids could quickly and easily get out of hand. I was just wondering how it is presented to people for the drama to start so early in the planning process. I have seen 'adult reception' on invitations but was unsure about the STD. over the past several months this has just seemed to be a major headache for so many people.

been there my friend! it only gets worse as the big day draws closer...trust me. you'd be surprised at how many ppl will try and bully you into the kids!!! just stay strong!

see im not alone!!!!! Yay

Well what we did was send everyone a STD and addressed the label as if it were an invitation so they would get the clue who was and wasn't invited...fh and ihave a strict budget for our guest list....and i figured lets iron this out now before two months before the wedding! and as i can see from some of your posts this is only the begining with this issue!!!

and its defintiely worth the drama because the kid list would be long and at my reception hall the kids are not cheap!!! and i agree with the poster who said, when people go to a wedding they are entitled to an 'adult'atmospher and thats what we want

thanks ladies for all of your replies!

I am having this battle as well I dont know what it is that people cannot understand I do not want to pay per head for ur CHILD to smush around in grown folks food and why don't you believe that you do not want another adult there i place of your child.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN

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Posted by JazzyT

I am having this battle as well I dont know what it is that people cannot understand I do not want to pay per head for ur CHILD to smush around in grown folks food and why don't you believe that you do not want another adult there i place of your child.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN

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AMEN!

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Posted by soontobmrsn

this amazes me time and time again, that people feel they say that their children have to come or they can't because they can't find a babysitter!!!
1. how do you know you can't find a babysitter 9 months in advance
2. how did my and FH's parents always figure it out to get someone to watch us and our siblings for events like these...
3. I wont be strong armed into having children...mind you this isn't even immediate family pulling the stuff its friends and extended family.....if i have one child i have to have 20 and we just can't afford it
4. mind u i have also offered to have a babysitter arranged for them all at the hotel that they can all split the cost of, guess thats not enough either!

sorry so long, vent done!

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I have to admit you're good for offering a baby-sitter! At least you give them an option.

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Posted by JazzyT

I am having this battle as well I dont know what it is that people cannot understand I do not want to pay per head for ur CHILD to smush around in grown folks food and why don't you believe that you do not want another adult there i place of your child.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN

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I guess since most of you ladies dont have kids you dont understand how hard it is to find a sitter for a wedding especially when it is a family wedding and at least more than half the people attending would be the ones your family would ask to baby-sit. Im not saying that anyone be strong armed or bullied into letting people bring kids. But at the same time no should be mad if it is hard to find a sitter for that day. Those people will have to find a sitter for the whole day! Esepcially if they are going to attend both ceremony and reception.

Now I recall people being upset when it was talked about people only going to the Reception and not the Ceremony since alot of money is spent on both. I dont know too many people who will get their kids dressed to go to a church and then take them home to a babysitter.

When I was a kid, kids were brough to a wedding more so if ithe wedding involved family b/c lets be real GrandMa is at the wedding, Aunties, Unlces, Cousins and all! It would be hard to ask somone who wants to go to the wedding to stay home so you can go! Im not saying you have to be a sap but be understanding. If the shoe was on the other foot, what would you do?

I had a friend who had a similiar situation when she got married and her family was mad b/c they couldnt bring their kids. I told her you can be mad, your whole family wants to go and no wants to babysit! I dont know if any of you realize this but times have changed and little girls no longer want ot babysit kids as a side job! So be a little considerate when thinking about those couples with kids. (Sorry this was so long)

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Posted by leshellem

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Posted by Tiggeruth

Do you guys write no children on the STD?

I never knew this was such an issue until i spent time on this board. I am having kids at the wedding, I dont care...

For those who aren't having kids, it seems that everyone complains about other people wanting to bring their kids, is it really worth all the drama to not have kids?

---

Most of the time people say no to kids, not because they have 4 or 5 kids in mind but because you can have 20-30 kids. You multiply that, even half price, with what you are paying and that's a lot of cash. Also people might want to have a more adult like atmosphere which I think they are entitled to. So I disagree, it may very well be worth the drama.

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I think this is where the problem, if money is the problem then look at the parents and say, if you want your kids to attend then pay for their plate. You'll see how many will stop arguing! If it b/c you want an all Adult even then state this is an adult affair on the invite it is what it is.

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Posted by leshellem
Most of the time people say no to kids, not because they have 4 or 5 kids in mind but because you can have 20-30 kids. You multiply that, even half price, with what you are paying and that's a lot of cash. Also people might want to have a more adult like atmosphere which I think they are entitled to. So I disagree, it may very well be worth the drama.

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exactly!! well said-- that is the problem. 20-30 ++ kids in an environment like a wedding reception where most of the adults are too busy dancing, eating and drinking is definitely a problem waiting to happen!! AMAZINGLY, the 'no kids at the wedding' is the ONE and ONLY thing that I have not had a problem with-- it is the ONLY issue I have not had drama over!! I thank GOD lol... but of course, everything else is a headache! haha-- but I feel your pain even though it's not an issue for me-- and I totally understand why you don't want them there-- and i agree, they DO NOT belong there. I didn't go when I was younger for the same reasons. Hang in there!!

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I think this is where the problem, if money is the problem then look at the parents and say, if you want your kids to attend then pay for their plate. You'll see how many will stop arguing! If it b/c you want an all Adult even then state this is an adult affair on the invite it is what it is.

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i just don't think thats realistic, there is no way I would ask for a guest to pay for their child, if it's my day and our party then why can't people just abide by our guest list, seems simple enough to me. I guess I just don't feel an evening wedding is a place for children, the parents can't relax, and for those parents that never watch their children when at a family function it becomes a 'job' for a worrysome aunt, uncle etc and I want people to enjoy and adult evening out.

I appreciate your opinions....