Serious Topic

Serious Topic

Do any of you have a 'non-affectionate' honey? If so, does it bother you as much as it bothers me?

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You mean 24/7? My FH is not into PDA ... when we are out and about you would think we were just friends - we don't kiss, hug, or say mushy things to each otehr - in fact ... we are always talking to other people and are not even near each other for 90% of the time ... when we're alone though he is super mushy and affectionate. It's compeltely different.

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My FH is the exact opposite of that. He is extremely affectionate and loving. But I have been with people like that in the past and my father is also like that. They don't change and it is a very unhappy way to live. My mom says it everyday. She tries everything to make my dad act differently but it doesn't work. I hope you think things through and make sure you are truly happy before you go through with the wedding. Good luck sweetie.

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nope -- FH is super with PDA

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My FH is just like that. In addition to not being too affectionate, he's not very complimentary either, but he knows that really bothers me, so he does try to work on it. When we watch movies at home, we're usually on two different couches. He's not too kissy, but he doesn't steer clear of me either. I hate to say it, but sometimes I like when he's drunk because he gets much more openly affectionate and tells me he loves me a lot. And yes, it does bother me sometimes. But overall, he's not that bad and he dos have his moments where he reassures me. He explains to me that that's just not his way, but that certainly doesn't mena he loves me any less. I guess sometimes you just have to accept people.

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I have one of those guys but it doesnt bother me because I am mostly the same way.

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Mine is super affectionate. My friend's boyfriend is not and it really bothers her. To the point that she isn't sure if she wants to marry him. Same thing with the lack of compliments, even just talking to eachother. He never wants to know about her past (not meaning boyfriends), family, or just how she is feeling that day. He says he was always that way and he can't help it. To ME, I say he can change, or put some more effort into it, but he says that is who he is, so she has to accept it or move on. There is no perfect guy, we all know that, but you have to have some standards for yourself.

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My mother always taught me that you must train your man. And I can tell you that from the looks of my father, my mother did well! I'm just kidding....well, maybe a little serious

I would talk to your FH about this. If it's REALLY bothering you, it can turn into a much bigger problem. JMO.

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my FH complains that I am not more affectionate with HIM sometimes! I try to explain to him that while I am very touchy feely, when he ticks me off and/or I am in a bad mood I am the one who needs the TLC. We laugh as at times he is the 'girl' in our relationship...

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If FH was unaffectionate with me very often, it would bother me too. Your FH is probably not going to change, so you should talk to him, and see if there are unspoken ways you can signal to him when you crave more affection from him. Maybe you need to be the one to initiate the affection more often.

As for us... FH complains that I am not very affectionate (as have my past boyfriends) particularly in public. I was always brought up to see too much cuddling in public as a woman allowing a man to disrespect her public -- freaky, I know. But that's the basis for my lack of PDA... maybe your FH has a similar issue. In private though, I am as affectionate as they come....MOST of the time.

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Nope, my FH is very affectionate. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't.

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It bothers me too at times. There is no doubt of his love but for me I need it displayed more in ways of physical affection and comments, just as a man needs it physically in other ways I think woman need it displayed and said.
I like it too when my FH gets tipsey...he talks a lot and is attentive and very loving. (it doesnt happen often enough! lol
For the most part he is affectionate but lately I feel like I am the one who initates it and can leave you feeling sad, but he also has a lot on his mind w/ work and guys handle that kind of stress differently then we do.

I agree though with the others, unless he's less affectionate because of something going on in his life, he probably wont change, and yes it is something to consider because you may be able to just accept it or in time it may even bother you more.

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I wouldn't marry someone that is not affectionate....

some peopel come from non affectionate families...if that is how they are brought up chances are that is how they will be

was he affectionate in the beginning?

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Ditto to Johnnysbaby, but mine does not drink, and can't even get him 'relax', but i know he has it in him, he displayed it in the 'beginning'.!

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Posted by diamondgrlie

I have one of those guys but it doesnt bother me because I am mostly the same way.

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Same here!

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I like my friend's boyfriend a lot and always say, well...he's a great guy. But that is coming from me who is marrying someone who is affectionate and very attentive. To me, as a friend, I say he is a keeper, but if I look at it from my friend's POV, as the girlfriend, I personally wouldn't be able to tolerate it. Everyone can take so much and if you are affectionate, then it will more than likely be an issue for you. Think about it.