settling

Chanwich Posted: Oct 06, 2010 07:49 PM

settling

Do any of you girls ever just feel like you've settled for certain things for the wedding even if they're not what you really want? For budget, or to keep someone else happy or whatever? Lately I've been feeling like I've settled on a few REALLY big things, some due to budget, some just to shut people up, and its making me kind of bummed. I don't know what to do to make it better and its just ruining the fun in this whole process

Sorry to be debbie downer with this post, I'm just feeling like its not really MY wedding anymore! I wish I was rich and could just have anything and everything I want.

angelatp Posted: Oct 06, 2010 08:01 PM

Re: settling

to ok to feel this way once in while, it happens. I'm sure you'll have the best day of your life on July 9, 2011.

BlushandBashful Posted: Oct 06, 2010 08:05 PM

Re: settling

What do you feel like you settled for???

Chanwich Posted: Oct 06, 2010 08:12 PM

Re: settling

well my biggest thing is my RH. I like it a lot, the people are great, but I just never got that feeling like 'holy crap THIS is where my wedding should be'. but FH loooooved it, and it was really reasonably priced. I fell in love with another one, more $ and further away, but we were only on LI for the weekend and we had to get it done, and I just feel like 'eh' right now. rawr. I hope it goes away.

thanks for the hugs though guys

scooby8323 Posted: Oct 06, 2010 08:16 PM

Re: settling

sorry you feel this way I know that I almost settled with my bridesmaid dresses and then my aunt said to me this is your wedding they had their weddings. You should do what makes you happy (within reason). So I went with the satin one that I wanted

FutureMrsDe Posted: Oct 06, 2010 08:27 PM

Re: settling

I feel the exact same way . i feel like i am settling on everything latley just so i can get FH;s decision on things bc he is so indesisive

allornil Posted: Oct 06, 2010 08:28 PM

Re: settling

Where are you booked? I guarantee its gonna be amazing!

rendel Posted: Oct 06, 2010 08:29 PM

Re: settling

Don't worry your wedding will be beautiful regardless of where it is!!!!! I had the same problem with my hall and then we went there during the day and saw a wedding taking place and it was drp dead gorgeous!!!!!!! I had one guest come up to me and tell me I had to get married there!!!! Please don't be down, I will see if WM will let you use their peacocks for the day, they seem to draw a lot of awwws from the crowd!

Tomsbride Posted: Oct 06, 2010 09:15 PM

Re: settling

I am extremly indecisive and not spontaneous at all. I've gotten the 'this is it!' feeling but I'm always to scared to commit so I keep looking! So, yes even when I booked everything I liked I wondered if I was settling because something better might be out there.

dCa51899 Posted: Oct 06, 2010 09:26 PM

Re: settling

Posted by Tomsbride

I am extremly indecisive and not spontaneous at all. I've gotten the 'this is it!' feeling but I'm always to scared to commit so I keep looking! So, yes even when I booked everything I liked I wondered if I was settling because something better might be out there.

im like this too with the wedding...its frustrating bc im normally a decisive person

but i think in regards to the wedding, i second guess everything bc *hopefully* i'll only do this once and i want it to be perfect....so at times I felt like I've 'settled' for budget reasons, and when that happens, I just try to focus on all the positive reasons for why we made the decision in the first place. Try not to think of the negatives, I know its easier said than done. Don't worry too much, your day will be beautiful!!!!!

kfizz Posted: Oct 06, 2010 09:29 PM

Re: settling

Dont worry I think we all go through this at one point. I felt the same way about my RH before they told me they were re-painting and doing some changes that were holding me back from liking it.

I also think that we as the bride put such high expectations on the wedding and want everything to be perfect...FH tells me that some of the things that I want are crazy like getting chivari chairs because I do not like the chairs. But im not settling on those lol

anszusterman Posted: Oct 06, 2010 09:29 PM

Re: settling

I have settled on the photographer, and wanted a DJ-but booked a band....all to keep FMIL happy. The band doesn't bother me, but the photographer I am still second guessing. I have already told FH flowers are my domain- do NOT even THINK about trying to cut anything out of my flower budget!!!

There is no way everyone will be ok with every decision- they are too many!

Mommy2BeBride Posted: Oct 06, 2010 09:55 PM

Re: settling

sorry you feel this way!!

hopefully it's just a little phase and it will go away!!

Chanwich Posted: Oct 06, 2010 10:53 PM

Re: settling

Posted by allornil

Where are you booked? I guarantee its gonna be amazing!

Im at the Riviera, they have been nothing but nice and great to work with, gave us a great deal and threw so much in. Its just like everytime I go back, I don't get all warm and gushy. Just eh. I've only heard great things about them so I just hope this feeling goes away!

I also feel like since my mom is paying, she has a lot of input on other things and thinks everything I want is 'tacky'. I mean, Im not suggesting cammo bridesmaid dresses or anything outrageous, but I just don't feel like its my own wedding at all

Thanks for all the input though ladies, I really appreciate you all! You guys are my sanity lately!

LoveyDovey Posted: Oct 06, 2010 10:56 PM

Re: settling

awww, dont be upset doll!

yes. im sure we have all compromised on things!

you just have to remember, and i have to keep telling myself this...

it is only 5-6 hours of your life!

yes its a big, memorable, amazing day. and it will be alllllll of that

but its only a few hours! you cant drive yourself crazy!

allornil Posted: Oct 06, 2010 11:09 PM

Re: settling

Posted by Chanwich

Posted by allornil

Where are you booked? I guarantee its gonna be amazing!

Im at the Riviera, they have been nothing but nice and great to work with, gave us a great deal and threw so much in. Its just like everytime I go back, I don't get all warm and gushy. Just eh. I've only heard great things about them so I just hope this feeling goes away!

I also feel like since my mom is paying, she has a lot of input on other things and thinks everything I want is 'tacky'. I mean, Im not suggesting cammo bridesmaid dresses or anything outrageous, but I just don't feel like its my own wedding at all

Thanks for all the input though ladies, I really appreciate you all! You guys are my sanity lately!

The riviera looks gorgeous! I bet your wedding is amazing and you'll be so happy you had it there.

And our moms must be related. Mine thinks everything i want is tacky, stupid or unnecessary.

I just stopped telling her what im doing lol.

Then again shes not paying for it.

Years ago i was married and she planned the whole thing down to my dress which i hated. We constantly had blowouts and i gave up and let her have her way. She didnt even take me to the tasting at the rh and she chose all the food.

The only thing i chose was my wedding song and my ex wore a mickey mouse vest under his tux that gave my mom
Seizures lol.

Try to make her understand that it bothers you when shes negative.

justnicethings Posted: Oct 06, 2010 11:24 PM

Re: settling

i'm not 100% in love with my RH. i wanted to get married at a smaller mansion style place out in long island on the north shore, but trying to squeeze 300 people into all the gorgeous places i loved wasn't an option for me. i sacrificed the RH so that i could invite every last one of them and in the end, that's what i'll remember. the place doesn't make the party, the people do!!!

also, no matter what you choose, the man you love will be at the end of the aisle no matter what, the rest will just fade into the background.

Lana and Johan Posted: Oct 06, 2010 11:48 PM

Re: settling

I feel the same way sometimes, but you gotta look on the bright side...u are getting married and it will be UR day and it will be amazing :)

FutureJOC Posted: Oct 07, 2010 07:18 AM

Re: settling

I think the only thing that I would say I settled on was the photog all because of the budget. I knew going in that I wasn't going to be able to afford the photog that I wanted to use because she became way too popular and has rasied her prices dramatically over the years - plus you don't get a lot for your money.

I am completely confident though that the photog we hired is going to do an amazing job and we got everything we wanted for less than what we wanted to spend - which is always a nice thing.

Notwedyet08 Posted: Oct 07, 2010 08:37 AM

Re: settling

Don't worry; i'm sure there are a lot of us that feel that same way!

I feel like i'm settling on everything just to stay in our budget :( The wedding is not at all what i thought it would be. But since we're doing it on our own AND paying our mortgage we got to cut costs and do things we can afford.