What do you do if you don't like the way you feel around someone or the way they make you feel, or you hate the way you act around someone?
Do you avoid them? Ignore them? Cut all contact?
What if it's family? Can you forgive family?
wc0143
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Re: Severing Ties?
Totally depends ... helpful, huh??
MonkeyLuv
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Re: Severing Ties?
Posted by wc0143
Totally depends ... helpful, huh??
Extremely!
lorsin
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Re: Severing Ties?
I usually try have a conversation about it to make sure they know how they make me feel and if that doesn't help I have to cut ties.
I take things waaaay too personally to have people that make me feel bad about myself or situations in my life.
It's tougher with family, but I've done it in the past and try to make minimal contact when we are forced in the same situations.
nov04LIbride
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Re: Severing Ties?
I would ignore and severe ties with friends like this, but family is more difficult. My father always tries to make me feel bad. It's just his nature. I think it was meant to make my brother and me try harder to excel growing up, but now I have nothing to prove to him anymore. For example, when I had him sent his parent albums and wedding pictures, he said they were great, and that he framed the one of my brother. MY BROTHER? TAKEN AT MY WEDDING? NO PICS OF ME OR ME AND DH!? ***? Anyhoo, I limit my conversations with him and how often I see him. We talk maybe once a month and I rarely see him.
JimmysBride
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Re: Severing Ties?
I've learned that sometimes with friends, it can really be poisonous to stay 'Friends' with someone like that. So sometimes it's necessary to back off alot. You don't necessarily have to cut them off completely but definitely back off and you'll be better off for it.
I might back myself off a little from family too but it's definitely more difficult with family. If necessary, I would have a talk to clear the air.
sarahthegreat
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i am in the middle of something with my favorite sister (nevermind, she's my only sister) and i choose to ignore her dumb-azz comments. actually, i ignore her no matter what, she's not very bright and think that her sh!t don't stink. how's that?
Janice
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Re: Severing Ties?
I am going through this right now. DH is trying to cut ties with most of his family, we feel like a holes doing it, I am staying out of it and just following his lead. It seems like such a cold thing to do but they make DH physically ill with migraines. Now it gets hairy because his sister just had a baby, so we don't want to turn our backs on him. I have never been a fan of his family, but I knew they were his so always tried to help.
marymoon
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Re: Severing Ties?
I have severed ties with frineds who I felt were being abusive or taking advantage or were just not good influences on my life.
I've done the same with family. After numerous attempts at reconciliation, we've HAD it with FSIL. Also, my dad and my uncles...they're dead to me
Kriss2c
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I have severed with friends, I wish I could sever certain family members. figuratively of course
Butterflybride
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Re: Severing Ties?
First I try to talk to the person about it and let them know they're making me feel that way. If they don't care or do nothing to change it, sometimes, even though it's hard, it's best to cut that person out of your life. I had a friend that did that. She ALWAYS made me feel like crap. If there was a problem and it was her fault, somehow she always managed to twist it and make it my fault and wouldn't 'forgive me' until I 'apologized' when I didn't do anything to begin with. After YEARS of this; years of always taking the blame, and feeling like crap, and begging for forgiveness when I did nothing wrong, I thought to myself: WHY am I even dealing with this? She does nothing but hurt me and I continue to be her friend and for what? Sure there were good times, but there were a lot more bad times. I tried talking to her and instead of listening to my feelings, she became enraged and started verbally bashing me. I decided I didn't need that in my life.
ETA: Sorry so long!
Stefanie
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Re: Severing Ties?
I've had two situations with MIL's side of the family. I have cut ties with both people and it is pretty easy becuase I hardly see them anyway. They are both pretty upset that they are not invited to the baby shower and the christening. Oh well...I guess some people have to keep their big mouth shut!!!
