She Hates Me!

Ok, now I know that my mother-in-law and I dont have the greatest relationship. I mean, I really dont care for her, but always put a smile on my face and keep my mouth shut. But now she has just gone too far.

We got the proofs back from the wedding, and she came over to pick out the ones she wanted for her Parent Album. Also, she wanted to have a picture blown up to 11x14. So she chose to have a family picture enlarged. She chose the photo of her family (her, her husband, my husband and her other 2 childred) - I AM NOT IN THE PHOTO. Now she had 2 photos in her hand, one with me in and one without me in it.. and she turns to me and says 'I want this one' and hands me the photo with me missing.

When I told my husband, he flipped out and called her to see if maybe she made a mistake (I did not want him too, but he was way upset). She said 'no, I didnt make a mistake. I just want a photo of my family'.

This is really really bugging me and my husband. He is very upset. He told me that I dont have to call her mom anymore, and I am not. She totally disrespected me.

Any comments/advise?

No advice but

Thanks!!! You guys dont know the half of it. I cooked for Xmas Day, she did not say one nice thing about the meal. And thats just one small example...

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Posted by Blu-ize

No advice but

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Ditto! I am so sorry - she is just wrong. It may have nothing to do with you personally - mothers often have a hard time letting go of their little boys I wouldn't call her mom either if I was you

Wow! Let me tell you something. I don't know the history of your relationship with your MIL, but that post alone painted a very clear picture. To say 'I just want a picture of 'my' family, without you in the photo, is essentially saying 'I don't consider you part of my family.' That sux, is quite disrespectful and, even if you don't like her, is very hurtful. I'm hurt FOR you.

There is nothing you have done, or left undone, to deserve that. Please train your emotions not to waste time ever trying to win her over, nor go out of your way to be nasty. She is your husband's mother, and that is all she needs to be if she's going to treat you like that.

So sorry this happened.

That would really hurt my feelings also I am very fortunate when it comes to my inlaws b/c they make a point to treat me like their daughter but I think I am in the minority.....a very good friend of mine's inlaws have that same picture that you are talking about in their living room....she has never mentioned anything about it bothering her or anything but I know it would bother me.
If I were you I would let her know that it bothered me.....its good that your husband said something....but maybe you need to also....if she tells you that she just wanted a pic of her family....remind her that you ARE now her family...there is nothing inappropriate about saying that. You will have to look at this picture every time you are over there for the rest of your life.....feel better

I'm sorry that this happened and that you're hurt. I'm expecting mine to do something like this so I don't know if I'll have great advice - it sounds like you've made an effort with her and that she hasn't quite met you halfway. At the very least, it's great that your DH said something on your behalf. You are family now and I do hope that she recognizes that she hurt and disrespected you.

I think sometimes certain people don't understand either through their actions or the things that they do or DON'T say can really speak volumes.

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Posted by nov04LIbride

I replied on BHB--is the same post on 3 boards?

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yes