little background: my maid of honor..best fd...Vanessa...was there for me from the beginning...fh took her secretly with him to pik out my engagement ring...(how cute is that)..heheh.. anyway...she always was saying that she will go with me to places and do things with me..thats she is excited...blah blah blah well now that we decided to do this dec..wedding...2 months ago..or so...she hasnt helped me at all...i mean ...i dont need any crazy work from her...im not employing her...but here and there..just some opinions...she is always toooo busy ..or tired..and always w her bfd.... and that pisses the **** out of me...coz she is the one ..who wanted to do everything..with..me..and im a little hurt ..coz..she is my best fd..she doesnt even show the interest...in anything....
should i say smth to her???????
wt u girls think..? i know im being a baby...but it reallly bothering me...
aliska21
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Re: should i?
i guess...not ha...
krislee316
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Re: should i?
if its really bothering you then yes you should say something otherwise if you hold it in you may start resenting her
aliska21
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Posted by krislee316
if its really bothering you then yes you should say something otherwise if you hold it in you may start resenting her
,....yea...i really need to tell her...
michelle1024
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Re: should i?
I don't think you're being a baby...but, if you're wedding is this month, isn't all the planning done by now??
I think if it has been bothering you this long, you should said something sooner. If it is bothering you that much...i guess you can talk to her. IMO if you're just looking for her to be excited for your wedding..i would just say that??
megsher
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Re: should i?
I don't know. Remember of course this is more exciting to us then others, In the beginining everyone wants to hear details, but that dies out. I would just let it be. JMO
MLAngelo
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Re: should i?
I don't know, I get were you are coming from, but you can't expect others to be as into your wedding as you are. Particularly when you moved it to the holiday season very last minute. She might have a lot of her own stuff going on. Honestly I learned from my experiences to take a very non-expectant attitude with bridesmaids and let them be as involved as they want and can be. Of course there are duties they need to do, but otherwise I can't expect them to be more involved in my wedding. My MOH lives in Paris and works as an actuary and travels to a different European city for work each week. Very often it takes 3 weeks just before she has time to e-mail me back. But I picked her because she is the one I want standing next to me, not because I expected her to help me with everything. JMO Take it or leave it. If its really bothering you and you made it clear that she needs to be more involved then you can mention it to her, but I would approach with caution. I know MANY people who don't speak to their brides because the brides expected to much of them.
aliska21
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Re: should i?
Posted by michelle1024
I don't think you're being a baby...but, if you're wedding is this month, isn't all the planning done by now??
I think if it has been bothering you this long, you should said something sooner. If it is bothering you that much...i guess you can talk to her. IMO if you're just looking for her to be excited for your wedding..i would just say that??
well i have some things to do...like flowers...need to be piked...i still have to go to the florist..and my jewelry...too..
im not just looking for her to be excited....just for some help...or interest..once in a while...
egem523
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Re: should i?
Posted by MLAngelo
I don't know, I get were you are coming from, but you can't expect others to be as into your wedding as you are. Particularly when you moved it to the holiday season very last minute. She might have a lot of her own stuff going on. Honestly I learned from my experiences to take a very non-expectant attitude with bridesmaids and let them be as involved as they want and can be. Of course there are duties they need to do, but otherwise I can't expect them to be more involved in my wedding. My MOH lives in Paris and works as an actuary and travels to a different European city for work each week. Very often it takes 3 weeks just before she has time to e-mail me back. But I picked her because she is the one I want standing next to me, not because I expected her to help me with everything. JMO Take it or leave it. If its really bothering you and you made it clear that she needs to be more involved then you can mention it to her, but I would approach with caution. I know MANY people who don't speak to their brides because the brides expected to much of them.
I think you made a great point. I aggree with you 100%
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: should i?
I think you should confront her. I did this with a friend recently and feel like such a weight was lifted from my shoulders... If she doesnt respond the way you'd like her to, try not to be too upset... Everyone is busy around the holiday season and this wedding was something out of the blue and last min... so try to be a bit understanding of her situation too...
aliska21
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Re: should i?
Posted by MLAngelo
I don't know, I get were you are coming from, but you can't expect others to be as into your wedding as you are. Particularly when you moved it to the holiday season very last minute. She might have a lot of her own stuff going on. Honestly I learned from my experiences to take a very non-expectant attitude with bridesmaids and let them be as involved as they want and can be. Of course there are duties they need to do, but otherwise I can't expect them to be more involved in my wedding. My MOH lives in Paris and works as an actuary and travels to a different European city for work each week. Very often it takes 3 weeks just before she has time to e-mail me back. But I picked her because she is the one I want standing next to me, not because I expected her to help me with everything. JMO Take it or leave it. If its really bothering you and you made it clear that she needs to be more involved then you can mention it to her, but I would approach with caution. I know MANY people who don't speak to their brides because the brides expected to much of them.
o girly...i know...wt u saying..but im not expecting much..of her..just tell me smth looks...but she doesnt reply to my emails.....doesnt even bother...to let me know..anything...but...yea..the whole holiday ..i understand..
aliska21
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Re: should i?
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
I think you should confront her. I did this with a friend recently and feel like such a weight was lifted from my shoulders... If she doesnt respond the way you'd like her to, try not to be too upset... Everyone is busy around the holiday season and this wedding was something out of the blue and last min... so try to be a bit understanding of her situation too...
i know...it was last min..and...i didnt expect anyone..to drop their stuff ...and run get ready for my wedding..so i havent said anyhting....she has been doing that way before,.i decided to do this dec wedding...i didnt say anything..coz i know how it is...and i know its hard to fit everything in ur schedule...but....i dunno.....if you want ull make one hour...in a whole week.....dont you think...!!!! i have school...work...weddding planning...n ..im like freaking full time baby sitter..and i dont complain...i always..do things for her....! sooo i dunno...
michelle1024
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Re: should i?
Posted by aliska21
Posted by michelle1024
I don't think you're being a baby...but, if you're wedding is this month, isn't all the planning done by now??
I think if it has been bothering you this long, you should said something sooner. If it is bothering you that much...i guess you can talk to her. IMO if you're just looking for her to be excited for your wedding..i would just say that??
well i have some things to do...like flowers...need to be piked...i still have to go to the florist..and my jewelry...too..
im not just looking for her to be excited....just for some help...or interest..once in a while...
I understand where you're coming from, and if it is really bothering you...I think you should try making plans with her to do some of these things first, and if you are still getting the same response, then talk to her about it.
MLAngelo
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Re: should i?
Posted by aliska21
o girly...i know...wt u saying..but im not expecting much..of her..just tell me smth looks...but she doesnt reply to my emails.....doesnt even bother...to let me know..anything...but...yea..the whole holiday ..i understand..
Well if she isn't even responding to your e-mails and you don't know why then that is different. I would bring it up, but approach it carefully.
aliska21
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thank you girls for all ur opinions and responses..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lov my liw girlies!!!
Dani777
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Re: should i?
I would say something.... just like, hey, you are my MOH and just a little bit of help would be appreciated. I don't ask alot from my MOHs at all... they take care of everyone on their own. I feel bad asking people to help... but honestly, if you feel you need help and she was always there for you and now she's not, I would def. say something to her.... JMO
aliska21
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Re: should i?
Posted by Dani777
I would say something.... just like, hey, you are my MOH and just a little bit of help would be appreciated. I don't ask alot from my MOHs at all... they take care of everyone on their own. I feel bad asking people to help... but honestly, if you feel you need help and she was always there for you and now she's not, I would def. say something to her.... JMO
just wrote her a huge email..........see wt she says,,,,,:)
CandB4604
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Re: should i?
I wouldn't want you to make extra drama the month of your wedding, but I'd say something hinting that you'd like to spend some alone time with her to knock some things off your to-do list.
