Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

LaBellaVita622 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 09:59 PM

Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

My wedding is not until June 2011. Since it is over 2 years away, I was thinking of having an engagement party since it is infact so far away. I am getting all of this criticism & can't take it..1st I was told that it looks like we're asking for money!..then I was told that its going to cost alot of money & we should just put it towards the wedding..my whole thing is why can I go to everyone else's give a gift & be fine with it but I am not supposed to have one?? Im so aggravated! ...bottom line..is it worth it to try to have a low budget eng party like a BBQ or something or is it not even worth it..HELP! haha

Lsorrent Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:09 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

I say go for it if you want one. There's nothing wrong with a bbq for an e-party. If I had waited til spring or summer for mine, I would've done a bbq.

Jen84 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:10 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

How about if you have something like a casual BBQ or dinner at a restaurant with just the closest family and friends?

lizzie217 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:12 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

I think if you want to have one you should. If people feel that 'you are asking for a gift' or whatever they said then they can decline and not attend

20mrsc10 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:14 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

i think you should do one if you want to..fh and i are having one for the same reason (our wedding isn't until july 2010)..were having a small one with close fam and friends (around 40 ppl invited)..but were having it at a restaurant that was a veryyyyy reasonable price..good luck with everything!

gina409 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:15 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

i say go for it....i didnt have one b/c i wanted money..i had one simply to celebrate my engagement..it was a great way for our families to meet..if we got a gift great..if we didnt no big deal

Debrian2009 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:17 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

We had a very small one; our families were meeting for the first time (my parents live in FL, my brother and SIL in CT)...and we also included the bridal party.

It was too much family drama after ours.....very long story but it's an engagement party we will never forget. Unfortunately.

I say have one; the Eparty is more of a celebration of your engagement. I think it would be nice to wait until the summer and have a BBQ...something casual, something fun but at the same time, YOU get to celebrate!!

Utopia923 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:18 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

We had an 'engagement celebration' in my backyard over the summer...

It was just for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins - the close family.

My mom got a place to cater it, and she hired a woman to buss the tables and it was a really nice afternoon for both families to get to know each other better.

I bought DIY invites from Office Max and said on the bottom: 'only your presence is required' or something like that. And people stuck to that rule. We told them it was NOT a 'give me something' kind of thing.

MrsSM09 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:19 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

I say go for it. If you have the time (which you do)

deeva007 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 10:57 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

Posted by 20mrsc10

i think you should do one if you want to..fh and i are having one for the same reason (our wedding isn't until july 2010)..were having a small one with close fam and friends (around 40 ppl invited)..but were having it at a restaurant that was a veryyyyy reasonable price..good luck with everything!

Hey! I am looking for a reasonably priced place for a rehearsal dinner.. where are you having your e party?

20mrsc10 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 11:12 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

elisa's restaurant in north bellmore..

its small (very small) but the food is fantastic

depoc1011 Posted: Mar 08, 2009 11:38 PM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

Posted by 20mrsc10 elisa's restaurant in north bellmore.. its small (very small) but the food is fantastic

amazing resturant

Nina1010 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 02:27 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

Sorry if this posts twice... my session expired.

Well...I share your feelings. I didn't mind sharing the joy of friends/family when it was their turn. They should want to return the favor. Honestly.

My friend did something simple and great for hers. She phoned her close friends/family, around 25-30 of us...told us she didn't want anything huge, but wanted to share her joy with us - no gifts. She invited us to meet her at Martha Clara's Vineyard. We all packed picnic baskets, pushed two large tables together in their big room and had a blast. We listened to live music, sipped good wine, ate good food and made great memories. It was basically free for everyone and we spent quality time out with special people and celebrated in her happy news. We then moved on to Osprey's Dominion, etc. We made a day of it and it was perfect. We all gave her an envelope... it wasn't expected and she tried to give it back, but we have all been there. We wanted to help her start her future. It was an honor.

Point is... you should have one if you want one. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to share a happy event with those you love. Shame of those who make you feel guilty.

Congrats and best of luck.

lauraandrob2009 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 06:00 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

I think in this economy, I'd pass. But it is your totally your choice.

stefandken Posted: Mar 09, 2009 07:28 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

i say go for it!

jonsgirl04 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 07:30 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

I say go for it! We had ours at a firehouse and we had a blast. My whole family came and had a great time. We had it so our families could finally meet everyone. We did not expect anyone to bring any gifts. But luckily I have a generous family and we got around $5,000. I was so blown away and very greatful for their generousity. Me and DH wound up taking that money and putting as our deposit on a reception hall. If you can have one I say do it. Can it be costly yes. But keep it simple. Maybe there is a hall you can rent, ask family to help make food. Have fun and best of luck!!!

JenBill61210 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 08:27 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

i just had mine this past saturday at a restaurant, it was really nice and it was a great way for our families to meet. I got engaged in April 2008, and my wedding is not until June 2010 so it kinda broke it up a little!

chrisandletizia Posted: Mar 09, 2009 11:39 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

here's my take on this:
we were engaged is september and are having our eparty in 2 weeks. my thoughts like yours was that the wedding felt so far away from our engagement and I liked the idea of and eparty to 'get everyone' excited and to celebrate.

My opinion is if you will look back once it's all said and done and you are married and regret not having had one, even if just a small one, then do it!

honestly who cares what people think, it's about you!

GinaZ Posted: Mar 09, 2009 11:54 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

If its something your family always does, then why not!? If it is something that your family and friends are not used to, they may think of it differently than if it were otherwise.

AdriandSteve Posted: Mar 09, 2009 11:58 AM

Re: Should I have an Engagement Party?? or not

Do what you think you guys can afford. Don't have one just to have one cuz your wedding is still a good 2 years away. FH and i have been engaged for about 2 1/2 months and aren't planning on having an engagement party. My mom wanted one but we don't have the $ for it so we MIGHT do bbq.

Like someone said above, maybe you can have a bbq in the summer to save the $. We would invite our immediate fam and only the friends who are in our bp but that would be about 75 people and we can't afford that AND a wedding.

The thing with engagement parties is...ettiquette says that people are NOT required to give gifts. Yes most people do, and I have... but it's not required of them. They have the wedding gift and shower gift to give so an engagement party gift should not be expected.