Shower ?

no you dont have to invite EVERY female guest at your wedding, there are some females you are not close to that will be at your wedding. For example, if your FH is inviting co-workers then you might not even really know their wives and they wont expect an invite trust me

The rule is to invite your closest friends and family. But also remember to invite his close family but also if you are close to any of his friends wives and gf's, but only those you know well.

eh, for mine - my girls asked for a list of every woman invited to the wedding. Even the Outta Towners. That's pretty much how it was with all the showers I've been a part of. People who can't come will usually send a gift, but it's not as though they HAVE TO. Personally, I feel like it's rude not to send an invitation. I wouldn't want them to think that i didn't want them there. Even the family who i know can't make it to the actual wedding, i still sent them an invitation. I just wanted them to know that they ARE wanted and that i love them, even if they can't make it.

So, i would say to have the OOT people get an invite also. Unless you know that they're the type of people who would get upset by it. I had a couple people i was nervous about , actually. They're on FH's side and they can't even fly in for the wedding so I thought that them receiving another invite to fly out for a shower would just cause drama on that end. So it's up to you really. Consider the people invited. That's my only advice.

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Posted by RockysGirl

eh, for mine - my girls asked for a list of every woman invited to the wedding. Even the Outta Towners. That's pretty much how it was with all the showers I've been a part of. People who can't come will usually send a gift, but it's not as though they HAVE TO. Personally, I feel like it's rude not to send an invitation. I wouldn't want them to think that i didn't want them there. Even the family who i know can't make it to the actual wedding, i still sent them an invitation. I just wanted them to know that they ARE wanted and that i love them, even if they can't make it.

So, i would say to have the OOT people get an invite also. Unless you know that they're the type of people who would get upset by it. I had a couple people i was nervous about , actually. They're on FH's side and they can't even fly in for the wedding so I thought that them receiving another invite to fly out for a shower would just cause drama on that end. So it's up to you really. Consider the people invited. That's my only advice.

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yeah OOT guests get invited too, mine did and mine came even though they were OOT. IF they know you then yes of course they get one. But i mean ppl you might not know at all or dont even know very well. If i would've invited every female then i would've had a shower with about 150-200 guests and then thats not even a shower anymore lol

here is a paragraph from a site on bridal shower etiquette that ill paste on here

'There has been an uncomfortable trend in recent years for large showers with nearly everyone the bride knows invited. This is not what the bridal shower is supposed to be. A bridal shower is supposed to be a small, intimate gathering of the bride’s closest friends and family.

The guest list should include the wedding party, the mothers of the bride and groom, sisters of the bride and groom, and the bride’s closest friends and/or coworkers. It shouldn’t include every female invited to the wedding.'

I had a very big guest list so what i did was I only gave my BM's the names of family and close friends from both sides. (I asked MIL to help me with her side). DH's coworkers and women that I am not very close to were not invited. About 60 people were there which was great. I didnt want to have a shower with 100 something people.
OOT's were invited and although some could not make it, I did not want them to feel left out.

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Posted by RadiantBride

I had a very big guest list so what i did was I only gave my BM's the names of family and close friends from both sides. (I asked MIL to help me with her side). DH's coworkers and women that I am not very close to were not invited. About 60 people were there which was great. I didnt want to have a shower with 100 something people.
OOT's were invited and although some could not make it, I did not want them to feel left out.

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i had 60 guests at my shower too

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by RadiantBride

I had a very big guest list so what i did was I only gave my BM's the names of family and close friends from both sides. (I asked MIL to help me with her side). DH's coworkers and women that I am not very close to were not invited. About 60 people were there which was great. I didnt want to have a shower with 100 something people.
OOT's were invited and although some could not make it, I did not want them to feel left out.

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i had 60 guests at my shower too

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How many guests did you have at the wedding? I think we had about the same #. I just felt weird having people that I didn't know too well bringing me gifts and stuff.

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Posted by RadiantBride

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by RadiantBride

I had a very big guest list so what i did was I only gave my BM's the names of family and close friends from both sides. (I asked MIL to help me with her side). DH's coworkers and women that I am not very close to were not invited. About 60 people were there which was great. I didnt want to have a shower with 100 something people.
OOT's were invited and although some could not make it, I did not want them to feel left out.

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i had 60 guests at my shower too

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How many guests did you have at the wedding? I think we had about the same #. I just felt weird having people that I didn't know too well bringing me gifts and stuff.

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about 260-270 guests BUT the shower was also before i even sent out invites so not like i had my rsvps in to know who was coming and we invited about 320-330 guests and if i invited every female invited then it'd really be out of control. Yeah i feel the same way. If somebody doesnt know you well then i dont expect them to buy me a shower gift AND give money at our wedding. Plus when you have a large guest list, you cant always have a shower with 150 guests lets say lol. Also i know that if i dont know somebody well and going to their wedding, i probably would feel awkward going to a shower where i dont know anybody and on top of that dont even know the bride well lol, if i at least knew the bride well i can deal with not knowing the guests. For example, ive been to a wedding for dh's co-worker, and really didnt expect an invite.

I picked the day for my shower so I know when but not where....My mom has been very open and told me that between her and my FMIL they invited 86 people including my friends and BP..
As of today she only had 6 nos!!! I dont know where it is but it better be ready for us!!!:)

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by RadiantBride

I had a very big guest list so what i did was I only gave my BM's the names of family and close friends from both sides. (I asked MIL to help me with her side). DH's coworkers and women that I am not very close to were not invited. About 60 people were there which was great. I didnt want to have a shower with 100 something people.
OOT's were invited and although some could not make it, I did not want them to feel left out.

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i had 60 guests at my shower too

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where was ur shower, bc thats how many people ill prob have, my mom actually asked me to give her some places haha

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Posted by ttdiff11

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by RadiantBride

I had a very big guest list so what i did was I only gave my BM's the names of family and close friends from both sides. (I asked MIL to help me with her side). DH's coworkers and women that I am not very close to were not invited. About 60 people were there which was great. I didnt want to have a shower with 100 something people.
OOT's were invited and although some could not make it, I did not want them to feel left out.

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i had 60 guests at my shower too

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where was ur shower, bc thats how many people ill prob have, my mom actually asked me to give her some places haha

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i had it at island in astoria, i have pics in my album. It was gorgeous but unfortunately at night it was a club and bc of young kids going there and problems like that, i heard the place is closed now. Too bad bc it was very different looking than most locations, which i loved, and decor was great. I also loved going to the club at night so im also upset about that

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Posted by KPetekie

Thanks for all of the answers! I am inviting 360 people to the wedding and expect 276 to come (I figured out based on who came to fh's sister's wedding). My fmil gave me a list of 40 ppl for the shower, my mom's list is 23, and mine is 21. So thats 84 people off the bat (plus my 11 bridesmaids but they are the ones throwing the shower). I think thats kind of a lot and obviously the bulk of it comes from FMIL (same for the wedding). I feel uncomfortable having my bridesmaids pay for so many people but I think only 13 of my mom's will come, 35 of fmil, and probably 19 of mine which makes 67 people plus the 11 girls themselves so 78 people. I hope thats not too outrageous and at least there are a lot of girls paying for this. I just get very uncomfortable when I think about how much money my friends are going to end up spending on me this year. (3 of my bridesmaids are family members in college, 1 is a bridesmaid is an older sister who just went through a rough time and is financially unstable right now, and 1 bridesmaid is a college friend who is paying back $700 in student loans a month... so I know this is a big expense, you know?)

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if 360 are invited to the wedding then 78 guests at a shower is perfectly fine.

My mother paid for my shower, its becoming very common now, many girls on here their moms paid. Maybe if both your mom and FMIL can contribute a little, it might help your bms

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Posted by ttdiff11

awww im sorry. thankss for the info tho!!!

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eh its ok, i had an amazing shower and thats what matters. Are you looking for a location in queens, i can recommend other places to you if you need

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ttdiff11

awww im sorry. thankss for the info tho!!!

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eh its ok, i had an amazing shower and thats what matters. Are you looking for a location in queens, i can recommend other places to you if you need

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more towards nassau county. my mom was thinking about 7th street cafe, singletons and a few others.
i have a feeling my shower wont be a surprise bc me and my mom cant keep things from eachother lol

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Posted by ttdiff11

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ttdiff11

awww im sorry. thankss for the info tho!!!

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eh its ok, i had an amazing shower and thats what matters. Are you looking for a location in queens, i can recommend other places to you if you need

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more towards nassau county. my mom was thinking about 7th street cafe, singletons and a few others.
i have a feeling my shower wont be a surprise bc me and my mom cant keep things from eachother lol

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oh ok i see, well i heard amazing things about 7th street cafe, alot of girls had their showers there.

Well i found out about my shower just a few days before. My mom did a good job of keeping things from me but its other ppl that blabbed and not even ppl who were going to my shower. I met this lady that works with MIL and she goes 'oh youre the one who is having her shower tomorrow' does she not know showers are surprises lol, i had someone else do the same

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ttdiff11

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ttdiff11

awww im sorry. thankss for the info tho!!!

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eh its ok, i had an amazing shower and thats what matters. Are you looking for a location in queens, i can recommend other places to you if you need

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more towards nassau county. my mom was thinking about 7th street cafe, singletons and a few others.
i have a feeling my shower wont be a surprise bc me and my mom cant keep things from eachother lol

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oh ok i see, well i heard amazing things about 7th street cafe, alot of girls had their showers there.

Well i found out about my shower just a few days before. My mom did a good job of keeping things from me but its other ppl that blabbed and not even ppl who were going to my shower. I met this lady that works with MIL and she goes 'oh youre the one who is having her shower tomorrow' does she not know showers are surprises lol, i had someone else do the same

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lol thats horrible bc u came to the end without knowing!

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Posted by KPetekie

My bms asked me to give them a list of the people I want to invite to the shower. I am confused about who is suppossed to be invited. Is there a rule? I've heard every female guest invited to the wedding but my mom said she thinks only local people who are close family or friends because otherwise it looks like I am just requesting a gift. Does anyone know what I'm supposed to tell them?

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My mom is inviting all the women in my family and FH's family to the shower. As far as friends, all our female friends are invited. FH has some friends whose wives I've never met and he doesn't really know too well, so they won't be invited to the shower.