Was hoping you could help me with something. I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding coming up for one of my old college roommates. We have been asked to split the costs of her shower. Are we also expected to give her a gift gift? What we have been asked to chip in is pretty significant (to me at least), so I'm not sure what to do about a gift.
I'm not sure how this works because my mom hosted my shower herself, so my bridal party all chipped in together and got me a nice present (although what they spent per person is still less than what I'm contributing to this shower). I was thinking about maybe doing something 'small,' like a channa plaque, but wasn't sure if that wasn't enough since I am her bridesmaid??
Anyone have any experience with this?
Thanks!
Yankeeelove
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Re: Shower & Bridesmaid Expectations
I was the MOH in a bridal party a couple years ago and the bridal party had to pay for the whole shower. I still gave her gifts on top of it. I think the plaque would be a nice idea and maybe something small from her registry. Since your paying so much for the shower no one can expect you to give a huge gift.
Pacie
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Re: Shower & Bridesmaid Expectations
This happened to my SIL. She was asked to contribute to the whole cost and still gave a gift. To make it even worse the girl's who bp she was in didnt even offer to help for my SIL shower which was a year earlier. Talk about nerve.
leesah85
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Re: Shower & Bridesmaid Expectations
generally i've seen that if people are asked to contribute to the shower, they give a lesser gift, but still a good gift because you're in the BP
e.g. if you would normally give a $100 gift to your friend whose BP you are in for her shower, maybe reduce it down to $50-60
UNLESS, she was also in your BP and gave you a $100 gift - you have to reciprocate regardless of the fact that you have to contribute to the shower. at least that's what i would do
BlushandBashful
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Re: Shower & Bridesmaid Expectations
Hmmm okay, thanks ladies! Going to have to think about this one.
futuremrstaheri
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Re: Shower & Bridesmaid Expectations
Posted by leesah85
generally i've seen that if people are asked to contribute to the shower, they give a lesser gift, but still a good gift because you're in the BP
e.g. if you would normally give a $100 gift to your friend whose BP you are in for her shower, maybe reduce it down to $50-60
UNLESS, she was also in your BP and gave you a $100 gift - you have to reciprocate regardless of the fact that you have to contribute to the shower. at least that's what i would do
ITA
itbroi805
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Member since
Re: Shower & Bridesmaid Expectations
I don't think much is expected. I mean to be honest my girls didn't contribute a penny to the shower (my mom hosted it) and the gifts I received from them were small. I think you do what you can. I didn't expect huge gifts from them even though they didn't contribute financialy to the shower. I say get her what you can. Look for sales for something small off the registry.
