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Shower Guest List Question

coldasice217 Posted:

Shower Guest List Question

Has anyone been in the situation where your mother or FMIL is refusing to invite people to the shower for whatever reason?

As it stands right now, we only have 14 confirmed people that are coming, and with the nos we have already gotten, it is mathematically impossible for my mom to meet the room minimum. FMIL has three friends that she is inviting to the wedding, but she has now said three times (my mother has asked twice, and FH once) that she doesn't want to invite them to the shower. At first she said no because she didn't want to add too many extra people. The second time she said no to my mom because apparently she wasn't invited to one of their daughters shower, and she had a stick up her butt about it that it wasn't appropriate to invite her to ours then. Now that we're getting desperate, FH asked, and she said *maybe* she'll invite one of the three women.

I'm frustrated at this because I feel like put it behind you and think of the greater good, us haha. My family doesn't like us, I have really no friends, and all I'm relying on is FH's large family...and even they are saying no.

Lest I vent , but it is depressing, especially because there's another family wedding so close before ours that's bigger and better in every way, and I really feel inadequate and embarrassed about the whole thing right now.
LousBride09 Posted:

Re: Shower Guest List Question


Posted by coldasice217

Has anyone been in the situation where your mother or FMIL is refusing to invite people to the shower for whatever reason?

As it stands right now, we only have 14 confirmed people that are coming, and with the nos we have already gotten, it is mathematically impossible for my mom to meet the room minimum. FMIL has three friends that she is inviting to the wedding, but she has now said three times (my mother has asked twice, and FH once) that she doesn't want to invite them to the shower. At first she said no because she didn't want to add too many extra people. The second time she said no to my mom because apparently she wasn't invited to one of their daughters shower, and she had a stick up her butt about it that it wasn't appropriate to invite her to ours then. Now that we're getting desperate, FH asked, and she said *maybe* she'll invite one of the three women.

I'm frustrated at this because I feel like put it behind you and think of the greater good, us haha. My family doesn't like us, I have really no friends, and all I'm relying on is FH's large family...and even they are saying no.

Lest I vent , but it is depressing, especially because there's another family wedding so close before ours that's bigger and better in every way, and I really feel inadequate and embarrassed about the whole thing right now.



I'm sorry that really stinks. I would just try and look at it positively and celebrate with the people that are going to come! Are there are a lot of people that havent responded yet maybe? I know my sister was trying to get the rsvps for a while from late responders. Is your bridal party able to attend?
LIVineBride09 Posted:

Re: Shower Guest List Question

how about the mothers of your bridal party? if the'yre invited to the wedding they may be a good add. (if they're not coming already!)

coldasice217 Posted:

Re: Shower Guest List Question

Yeah, there are quite a few people who haven't responded yet...but a lot of them are out of town so probably won't be able to come. Even assuming every person did come, we'd still be short. Unfortunately, most of the mothers of the BP are also my mom, FMIL, my aunt, so they're already coming, and my two friends I'm not sure if I'm inviting their families to the wedding yet so I can't invite them to the shower.

Oh well...I guess I won't have a big extravagant shower, but I am really nervous about it being 4 hours and it being like what do we do now after 2.
RitasEngaged Posted:

Re: Shower Guest List Question

can you invite co-workers?

Did you invite every female that is invited to your wedding

sorry this is happening
xosweetiexo Posted:

Re: Shower Guest List Question

Oh noooo Ali Im so sorry!

No matter what- for everybody.... there will be another wedding that is bigger than yours.... BUT dont think that your wedding is going to be not as nice or not as special compared to someone elses wedding. Each wedding is special and your wedding is going to be beauitful.

What about making it a co-ed party? I really wanted FH to party with us and if your FMIL is against inviting her other friends... its not worth it to pay all that money and fall short of the minimum and have that money go to waste. Have FH invite the groomsmen and his close friends and party
Jna2010 Posted:

Re: Shower Guest List Question


Posted by xosweetiexo

Oh noooo Ali Im so sorry!

No matter what- for everybody.... there will be another wedding that is bigger than yours.... BUT dont think that your wedding is going to be not as nice or not as special compared to someone elses wedding. Each wedding is special and your wedding is going to be beauitful.

What about making it a co-ed party? I really wanted FH to party with us and if your FMIL is against inviting her other friends... its not worth it to pay all that money and fall short of the minimum and have that money go to waste. Have FH invite the groomsmen and his close friends and party



i agree, well said!!! your wedding will be amazing in its own right bc its about you and your fh not the other couple

and this sounds like a good idea, also if youre inviting anyone from work to the wedding you could always invite them to the shower as well as well as your bm's parents if invited to the wedding

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