I gave my mom a list of people to invite to the shower, which included FH's side of the family. FH and I went over it together and he told me who I should invite. He has a very small family compared to mine.
FMIL just sent my mom a list of 'her' invites to my shower - on the list were people marked with a 'won't come but will send a gift' note. Also included on the list were people from far away who are invited to the wedding, but weren't included on my shower list. People I've never met in the 3 years I've been with FH (his mother's cousins in California, etc.). My mom doesn't know what to do.
Does my mom invite these people which to me and to her look like we're just asking for gifts? I thought the shower was for the women close to the bride and not every female invited to the wedding? I'd hate for these people to think that I'm just trolling for gifts.
What should I tell my mom to do?
Future Mrs Roo
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Re: shower invite question
I didnt invite out of town guests to the shower b/c I didnt want it to seem like Im looking for gifts either. We just invited close friends and family here.
gina409
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Re: shower invite question
this is tough...if u have never met them or dont really speak to them i would not invite...my sister told me a few of our relatives called her and asked where i was registered so they could send a gift..knowing there were not coming to the shower..if they want to sen a gift im sure they will call fmil and ask where u r registered..
geegee827
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Re: shower invite question
That's what I thought too. If they're interested, they'll call and ask where we're registered. I don't ever want to look like I'm begging for gifts.
KittyGags
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Re: shower invite question
My MIL insisted on adding 16 people after my list was already done. I don't know most of them, like have never even met them.
I let her get away with it because I'm just hoping most won't come
JamDancer
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Re: shower invite question
hmm.... see my mom is inviting ppl all over who obv won't come... I didn't look at it like looking for gifts, but just to extend the invite to be polite.... oops, hope they don't think that!
gina409
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Re: shower invite question
Posted by geegee827
That's what I thought too. If they're interested, they'll call and ask where we're registered. I don't ever want to look like I'm begging for gifts.
its such a tough call because if u send them out u will get the people that think u r beggn for gfts an if u dont u will get phone calss saying..u should have sent me an invite i wanted to send a gift
maybe as fmil who she is closest too and just send those out
CAM1223
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Re: shower invite question
Honestly, we did end up inviting OOT guests to the shower. I guess it's one of those things that it's the 'Right thing to do.'
Alot of people were invited to my shower, that didn't come & didn't send a gift.
I don't think it would be like your 'begging for gifts!' There were so many people that I havn't seen in years that, as my mom said, 'You have to send an invite'
geegee827
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Re: shower invite question
Thanks - I guess I'll have to have a conversation with FMIL and see who she REALLY wants there. I really wanted to be totally uninvolved in my shower, but since our parents have never met (his parents live in FL), I don't want to put my mom in an awkward position with people she never met.
