shower/wedding invites

No, it's not appropriate to invite someone to a shower if you don't plan to invite them to the wedding. Sorry

ive asked this before and the consensus seemed to be that you shouldnt really invite anyone to the shower unless they are invited to the wedding.

i most likely wont but i think in some situations its not that bad. some people who wouldnt expect to be invited to the wedding in the first place would in my opinion think it was something unexpected to even be invited to the shower.

see in my case, my fiance and i are paying for the wedding and my mom is hosting the shower, so i wouldnt mind if she invited some friends to the shower however i wouldnt want her to expect me to invite them to the wedding if there are a bunch of them. ( i am inviting 1 or 2 close friends of my moms to the wedding who i know though and also inviting to the shower)

eta: even if you choose to invite them, it does often make it uncomfortable for you and for them. perfect example...this was with a friends bachelorette party so a little different but she invited a girl who wasnt coming to the wedding and at the end of the long weekend when we were all saying our goodbyes, i said, see you at the wedding and she goes, on no, i probally wont be invited to the wedding...so i was very uncomfortable and she obviously was too

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Posted by marose

I am the mother of the bride. Is it okay to invite ladies to the shower that I am friendly with who know all about my daughter, but don't think it is appropriate to invite them to the wedding,.

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No.

If you're invited to the shower you're invited to the wedding. The shower is for (female) wedding guests who you are closer to. If you're not inviting these women to the wedding, I'm not sure why you'd want to invite them to the shower.

I totally see the reason for your question. While I know proper etiquette dictates that you shouldn´t invite them I think in this case its up to you who knows them personally. If I understand correctly these are more your friends.

some people would be offended being invited to the shower and not the wedding. Some look at it like youre only trying to get a gift out of them.

But others see it differently. My mom had someone she knows tell her that she knows she won´t be invited to the wedding (i´ve never even met her and she´s not super close with my mom) but that if it was possible she would really like to at least come to the shower.

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Posted by Lsorrent

No, it's not appropriate to invite someone to a shower if you don't plan to invite them to the wedding. Sorry

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ita