Shut UP, Slider!

He drops off one of his postage-sized post-it notes on my desk this morning. While I'm sitting there. It's a reminder that a former co-worker's birthday is tomorrow. This co-worker quit over a year ago. I've spoken to her 3 times on the phone (at work) since (at her behest) and, to be honest, I'd rather she left me alone because I'm completely indifferent to her existence, never really cared that much to begin with and I think she's a bit of an attention vampire who latches on to people and insists they are best friends. Also, she's another link to Slider so...
Anyway, Slider really is BFF with her and just informed me her birthday is tomorrow and I should drop her a line.

Dude, shut up!! Why do you care if I remember her birthday or not? I was never 'friends' with her! I was a co-worker!!! And that was a year and a half ago! I don't tak to her anymore and when I do I feel forced and annoyed! Which part of 'I don't like making friends with co-workers' don't you understand? Don't leave me pointed messages that allude to my lack of decorum and leave me the f*$@ alone!! You're not my mother, or my palm pilot so keep your reminders to yourself... or remind yourself that I f***ing hate you and back the f*** off!