sick to my stomach (long)

Okay... so we are planning our 1 year anniversary vacation to Hawaii and decide to stop in San Diego for a night to visit my friend who moved there about a year ago. I should clarify that she is known for being a little flaky, but was very excited about it. Before I booked it for definite (it is costing us an extra $150 to stop there, plus an extra day of vacation, plus a hotel in an already over the top expensive vacation). But she said yes, she'd take the day off and show us around San Diego and she was so excited to see us.

Well, I just now get an email saying that her new boyfriend bought her a ticket to visit him in England that week while he's there on business and she doesn't know what to do. Should she have him change it (he paid out of his own pocket for the ticket) or can we change our plans. We just booked it on Monday and finalized all the flights. DH is going to KILL me - he always says shes a flake and now we are going to spend all this money and not see her - when he wanted to visit HIS friend in San Francisco and I said it was too much money to make another stop. I don't know if we'll be able to get our money on the flight refunded and I don't want to go to San Diego if she's not going to be there, because its not worth it, if we then have to spend for cabs or a rent a car.

I can't even bring myself to call DH - hes going to have a fit. I don't know what to answer her either. Part of me wants to say - no you have to be there for us its finalized and we'll lose lots of money, but then I feel selfish for not letting her go visit her boyfriend.

I'm so upset - I don't even know what to do.

Thanks for listening.

Re: sick to my stomach (long)

I'll show you around San Diego!!!

free of charge

Re: sick to my stomach (long)

I was just there its AMAZING!! you womt be disappointed!!! and yabbobay is there

Re: sick to my stomach (long)

I say you let her go do what she wants to do. If she is even THINKING twice about what to do, she is really on the fence about it, but I think she really wants to go see her boyfriend. ITs a shame that some friends lessen the value of friendships once new boyfriends pop in the picture. I think if you made her feel that she had to be there, she would be a little resentful and maybe make it miserable in some way or other...

I say you try to cancel your plans to go there, and forget it altogether. you may be saving yourself from headaches. Consider this a blessing in disguise.

Hope it all works out !

Re: sick to my stomach (long)

you could change the flight to SFO as well...

it might cost you $150-200 but it might be worth the agita...

but if you need a tour guide...

Re: sick to my stomach (long)

yabbobay - thanks! I may just take you up on your offer .....

I spoke to another friend who thinks I should tell her to see if it is possible to change her plans, since her boyfriend is older and RICH, and if not just go there anyway and just never make plans to go there again - wait until she comes to see me.

I'm a little calmer now. Thanks!!!

Re: sick to my stomach (long)

Seems if she was really a friend, she wouldn't have even told you that & would have went to see her BF another week!

I hate when women put men in front of their friends (unless its a very serious relationship or DH)

Re: sick to my stomach (long)

You should not change your plans. You're going away for your anniversary. I would ask her to change her plans and nicely remind her that you just confirmed everything with her in order to avoid this problem.

Sorry that you even have to go through this.