SIL dilemma

OK, here we go....my FH and I asked my brother and his wife to be in our wedding party and she 'so graciously' declined. She (and him for that matter) do not get along with my other brother and SIL and because of this, SIL #1 does not want to be in our wedding party (she doesn't want to have to interact with other brother and SIL) Still waiting for a response from my brother as to whether or not he will be in our party. Of course, this upsets me but what really gets me is that she has to think about whether or not my niece and nephew can be a part of our party....So, trying to be sympathetic, I told her not to worry about it but did let her know that it does not sit well with me that 'she has to think about the kids'....How do I handle this girls? I'm trying not to cause tension but isn't it selfish of her? I'm so angry at her but I'm even more sad about it than anything else Any advice would be greatly appreciated....

I am soooo sorry that is horrible. I cannot believe that they are not willing to S uck it up for the sake of THEIR sister on her wedding day. That is horrible!!! What is there to think about as family she will still have to attend all the same things she would as a BM and the kids have nothing to do with this!! UGH family is the worst sometimes!!! What are your parents saying about this???

If I were you I would speak to your brother privately and let him know how you are feeling

Im soo sorry... that isn't fair that she is waiting to see about her children, either speak to your brother about it, or if you can just pick other children to be in the wedding.

thats so sad..... to you both b/c family things can be messy....good luck and i hope it all works out!!!

if you need anyone to vent to, feel free to fm me!

Mom and dad are definitely not thrilled with brother and his 'Lovely bride'. However, the story doesn't end here. Not only do my brothers not speak to one another, my brother doesn't talk to my Dad either. This all originated from the SILS (please, may I never become one of those types ). They had an argument maybe 7 or 8 years ago (brothers are older) and then this one got involved and then so did that one and now this is the result. So stupid...so so stupid. I mean, I just don't get it, how they can let a she said/she said (yes, it was this type of cattiness between the girls) get between them for so long? Ok, maybe you're angry for a week or even a month....but years? I would never let such nonsense keep me from my loved ones for so long. Get this, both of my brothers have little children and one hasn't seen his 2 nieces EVER!! Could you imagine?? Over this?!?! Anyway, I will definitely talk to my brother and let him really know how I feel...I'll keep you posted. Thanks for listening and for all of the advice...really appreciated

I hope it gets resolved. You were not involved in it and they are only thinking about themselves instead of about.

BIG TO YOU!!!

This is a horrible situation to be in. You should be honest and let everyone know how you feel. Everyone should be able to get along with eachother for your day. That is very selfish of them. Speak up!!!

I personally think the SIL is being very selfish. Even though she doesnt get along...this is a wedding, and they need to act like adults. If I didnt like someone in the party, I wouldnt decline. I woulld put my differences aside for the sake of the bride. I would talk to your brother, and let him know how upset you are over this.
Keep us informed..........

If it had happened to me, I (just my opinion) would have tried to see the good side of it ... at least there is not possibility that they make a scene, or fight, during any of the moments when the BP gets together. Good luck!