Sis/MOH keeps cancelling or putting off making any appts for us and has not initiated anything to help- I have always had to ask (I only asked for help with STDs one night) ... can/should I tell her I want her to be involved and need more help??
(She and my mom have pretty much planned the shower already too...which is great BUT I am 7 months away from the wedding and still need to book florist, limos, hair/makeup, order invites, finally choose MOH dress, MOB dress... etc...)
111508Bride
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
Honestly...I did most of it alone....felt weird, but good about it. You shouldn't have to tell anyone to be more involved..if they're not, and don't want to be, it's a shame... I still would be too proud to ask someone to become involved. JMO
PegaLega
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
I did everything myself, really and Im not saying this to be harsh~I think you might be expecting too much. Make the appointments according to your schedule and ask if she wants to join. I didnt ask my girls for anything except to stand with me, they helped with putting invites together, etc. but did not come to appointments with me since these were things I had to choose. Tell her you want her input but can NOT keep putting this off anymore.
I would seriously begin your search alone if you feel like she isnt helping otherwise you might lose the vendors you want.
HTH
beram63
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
the only thing i've really involved my bridal party in has been dress hunting, mine and theirs. if she's been busy planning the shower, you may want to just let it go.
jennarose023
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
I've done most of everything myself...or with FH, i just like to get things done and won't wait around for other people!
TheLadyJ
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
Fh and I are doing all of the bookings ourselves. I ask my mom and sisters what they think, but ultimately it's what Fh and I want to do.
The only thing you really need to pin her down on is the dress. Make a day of it for the two of you to look at and pick out a MOH dress. And if she says she can't, then maybe you should start rethinking your sister as MOH.
DrWho
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
If you need help, by all means ask for it. Start with your FI though, not your MOH. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your own sister to be a sounding board, even if she isn't your MOH. I wouldn't expect her to go to appointments.
kirstenjk
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
Posted by PegaLega
I did everything myself, really and Im not saying this to be harsh~I think you might be expecting too much. Make the appointments according to your schedule and ask if she wants to join. I didnt ask my girls for anything except to stand with me, they helped with putting invites together, etc. but did not come to appointments with me since these were things I had to choose. Tell her you want her input but can NOT keep putting this off anymore.
I would seriously begin your search alone if you feel like she isnt helping otherwise you might lose the vendors you want.
HTH
I agree - I made all the appointments myself and went to the meetings with my mom (my FH was deployed at the time). The only thing I asked from my BMs was to try on the dress I picked out to make sure they all liked it and it looked good on them.
Pick out the vendors you want to meet with, make the appointments according to your schedule, and ask your MOH if she wants to join you and your FH - another set of eyes and ears is great since it can get overwhelming.
RockysGirl
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
When I was first starting to get things done, I was literally doing it ALL alone. I'm not gonna lie - I was pretty hurt by this. But I'm not the type to just let myself be upset with people without talking to them about it. Now everything's been great. My BP have been as much involved as they can be, and my MOH is amazing. She's really on top of stuff. But I definitely don't ask her for much. Just opinions really and envelope stuffing. lol. It's MY wedding, so I feel like I should be doing most of the work for it. I only ask for help when i REALLY need it.
I say - talk to her about it. If you're feeling hurt by anybody's lack of attention and help, it's better to say something (KINDLY) than to keep it bottled up inside.
Maria31
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
FH and I (and my Mom! lol) went ahead and booked everything without the help of my MOH/BM. IMO, it's not the responsibility of the BP to do everything with you. When my girls wanted to be involved in certain things, they let me know. When I made my appointments, I let them know when/what time etc. It was up to them to decide if they could make it that day... I didn't revolve any appointments around their schedules. I would just start booking things without them! Your wedding will be here before you know it and you should really start getting the big vendors out of the way. GL!!!
missliss
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
I did everything myself. My MOH and BMs did some things for the shower but that was it. I don't think it's their responsibility to help you with anything else. If they offer great, but it's not expected.
A couple of them came to check out some BM dresses with me so I could get their feedback on what looked good on them, but not all of them could come at the same time so when we narrowed it down, the others went on their own.
FallBride2010
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
I dont think it's the MOH or bridesmaid's responsibility to attend all of these things. As MOH for my friend next year...I checked out a few wedding venues with her...she's on her own for the rest...unless she really wants some company. I'm planning to do all my stuff on my own with my FH. It's too much to ask of them to participate in the whole wedding planning process. : )
VickiR510
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
Honestly FH & I did everything. I only had my girls involved in ickign their dresses. If they offered t help with other things then fine but i never would ask. Honestly FH & I do it best by ourselves. Why dont you have Fh help you????
KimiDanny1010
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
Posted by VickiR510
Honestly FH & I did everything. I only had my girls involved in ickign their dresses. If they offered t help with other things then fine but i never would ask. Honestly FH & I do it best by ourselves. Why dont you have Fh help you????
same here... my sister who is my MOH has come to some bridal shows with me but everything else FH and I have done...
sophisticat13
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Re: SiS/ MOH, missing in action and cancelling...
Dh and I did mostly everything alone. Some appts I went on by myself...my MOHs (sisters) only came with me on my dress appts and their dress appts, and to one of the tastings. As one of the previous brides said, I don't think it's the BP's responsibility to go on every appt with you. It's their responsibility to be there the day of, get their dress and shoes etc, and plan the shower. It's really your FHs responsibility lol
If you don't mind some extra advice...I would get on the phone and start making appts ASAP if you only have 7 months left....it;s your wedding and you can't afford the time now to wait for your sister anyway... I only had 7 mos. to plan my wedding also and I was very stressed...7 mos isn't a lot of time to plan an entire wedding!!! You know we are here for you if you need us
