Let me preface the story by saying that last year when my older sister got married, she originally planned to not invite our younger sister with a guest, because she doesn't have a bf. After much family drama (we only had one table at the entire wedding) she relented and let my sister bring a guest. She brought one of her best gays, and all was well. She even made out on it because he gave his own separate gift, and he's a great kid and like a part of the family.
So I was going to invite my sister with a guest right off the bat, even though she still doesn't have a bf. I assumed she would bring her friend again, which would have been fine with me, because I know him and like him. Well, it turns out he's doing a year abroad in germany next year, and will be unable to attend.
So I kind of joked to her that she can't bring one of her other guy friends who she's become very close with lately, because he hates me. We all used to work together in the restaurant, and once I shot off at the mouth about one of his friends, and since then it's been very terse between us. He's constantly at my house, but he has visible disdain for me, and has even told my sister, I'm sorry, but I really do not like your sister. You would think blood is thicker than water, but I digress.
So imagine my dismay now that she just came in from work, and asked me if she doesn't have a bf by december if he can be her guest, and even if she does have a bf, can he still be her guest, or if not, can i just invite him by himself? I was like uhhh...no. She was like well we were talking about it, and he really wants to come so he can dance with me and mom and nana. This may have something to do with my mother drunk dialing us from her friends bday party last week after 5 tequila shots, but once again, I digress.
So I said no...I am not going to invite him just so he can be a dancing queen with the ladies in the family, and I would really prefer if she invited a guest that actually can stomach me.
What would you do in this case? Suck it up so your sister can have a guest even if the guest loathes every fiber of your being? I just want people there that care about me and FH, not someone that's going to be a hag about me and report back to gossip to the former co-workers about anything 'tacky' he might see or how fat I am in my dress or how mean i was to everyone.
Input?
MrsList09
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
If you really don't get along with him and they're not dating, I would say no. It's your wedding and you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable.
MLAngelo
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
Is he really worth fighting with your sister over. You will be surrounded by guests you love and he can't be mean to you on your wedding day. I say avoid the fight with your sister and let him come. You will enjoy the day more if your sister is happy.
jennaandguy09
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
This is a pretty touchy situation, on the one hand you don't want to fight with your sister over someone who she isn't even dating, on the other hand, I see your point in that you only want people who care about you and FH at your wedding, I feel the same way. In the end it's YOUR wedding and YOU have to be happy and if you feel uncomfortable having this person at your wedding then don't invite him, I'm sure your sister will get over it and maybe bring someone else, hopefully by then, this argument will be a distant memory, good luck Ali!
VeggieBride
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
i wouldnt let him come. you obv dont like each other so why waste a plate on someone like that y'know?
geegee827
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
Can you do a 'we'll see' answer? It's 10 months away - a lot can happen between now and then. Your sister could fall madly in love with someone or her and this guy could no longer be friends so it won't be an issue.
I would tell my sister that you're not inviting him on his own, but if they're still friendly by the wedding, you will revisit the situation. I would, however, let her know that if he continues his obvious dislike of you, he will NOT be coming to the wedding.....
Sisters! I love both of my sisters (I'm the middle of 3 girls) but sometimes...
ttdiff11
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
Posted by MrsList09
If you really don't get along with him and they're not dating, I would say no. It's your wedding and you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable.
i agreeee
MLAngelo
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
Posted by geegee827
Can you do a 'we'll see' answer? It's 10 months away - a lot can happen between now and then. Your sister could fall madly in love with someone or her and this guy could no longer be friends so it won't be an issue.
I would tell my sister that you're not inviting him on his own, but if they're still friendly by the wedding, you will revisit the situation. I would, however, let her know that if he continues his obvious dislike of you, he will NOT be coming to the wedding.....
Sisters! I love both of my sisters (I'm the middle of 3 girls) but sometimes...
Actually Ali I agree with her, this would be the perfect way to handle it at this point in time.
gina409
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
i dont see why ur sis would wanna bring soeone who does not like u and in that sense why he would want to go if he feels that way...id tell her for now well see just to ease the tension..and when it comes time to really decide id see if he still around..maybe she will have a bf or just have a change of heart
coldasice217
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
Posted by geegee827
Can you do a 'we'll see' answer? It's 10 months away - a lot can happen between now and then. Your sister could fall madly in love with someone or her and this guy could no longer be friends so it won't be an issue.
I would tell my sister that you're not inviting him on his own, but if they're still friendly by the wedding, you will revisit the situation. I would, however, let her know that if he continues his obvious dislike of you, he will NOT be coming to the wedding.....
Sisters! I love both of my sisters (I'm the middle of 3 girls) but sometimes...
This is actually what I did...I said that I would have to think about it, given the circumstances. She told me that he really doesn't not like me, but rather he thinks that I don't like HIM. It's like dealing with a 12 year old girl, I swear. She dropped it, because she knows that it's awkward between us. I'm just curious to see what everyone would do in the same situation.
geegee827
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
I'll keep my fingers crossed that she (a) gets a bf between now and the wedding or (b) decides that this guy is a loser and they're no longer friends!
NikkiR515
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
Here's the thing........ If my sister had a friend who I just didn't really like so much, whether it be personality differences or whatnot, I would suck it up and let him come. However, if this person really dislikes you that much, he has no business being at your wedding whatsoever! Personally, I wouldn't want to go to a wedding of someone I disliked, regardless of who I could dance with! And IMHO, I wouldn't bring a guy who hates my sister to her wedding but I guess that is a whole separate issue...So honestly I'd be inclined to ban him from my wedding!
dutchessev
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
If you guys don't like each other and he is not her boyfriend I wouldn't invite him.
elysemichelle
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
100% i would totally say no chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if he doesnt like u why in the world shouldhe be invited to YOUR wedding!!
Sweeteey51
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
NO dont, what bothers me about what you said is that he said he wants to dance with your sister mother and nana, but nothing about you and its your wedding!!!!!!! I wouldnt waste a seat on him especially since he told your sister he doesnt like you.
Brat23
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
No way i would totally put my foot down tell her you refuse to be uncomfortable on your wedding day. You would never do that to her and you urge her to bring someone else.
You cannot have someone at your wedding that CLEARLY does not like you!
julesrbf
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
Sticky sitch, but I would say that the prevailing piece of information is that he doesn't like you. Not even that you don't like him - sometimes you have to invite people you don't like just because (whether it be a FSIL or FBIL, or what have you). But if he has openly said he doesn't like you either, then he has no place at your wedding, and your sister shouldn't be discussing it with him without talking to you first. So I say you are in the right here. No need for any evil eyes or bad blood at your wedding, right?
MirabellaNYC
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Re: Sister's Guest Question
My question is, WHY would your sister want to bring a date to your wedding that talks smack about you?? I mean, I understand that you want her to be happy, but do you really want a toxic guest at your wedding? I certainly wouldn't..
On the brighter side, you have so much time before your day, let's hope your sis decides on somebody else.
