Small issue, just venting a little. its a bit long.

EmberLynn Posted: Oct 13, 2005 10:13 AM

Small issue, just venting a little. its a bit long.

Okay, the other night my fh and I went his parents house for dinner. Everything was fine, but the I realised joe took his handfasting ring off! I confronted him about it, when we were alone, and he told me he didn't want to start problems. We choose not to tell them about the handfasting, because they are VERY religious roman catholics and even thought they wouldn't have come, and completely disapproved, they would have been upset not being invited. I see is point, but I have no trouble confronted them with it. I would have told them flat out, about how they wouldn't approve and would be offended. Or we would have told me it was merely a bethoral ceremony, done just to the two of us. They dont need to know we invited people. We didn't get married, unlike several couples we know who just ran off and eloped and sent their parents a post card. If we are ever going to be completely independ from them, shouldn't we be standing up for our sleves and our beliefs? What when we have kids? I'm not baptisting them, or forcing them into communtion or confermation! (nothing agaist anyonehere who is catholic) Its not my beliefs or his, so why should we force our children into something we wouldn't want to do ourselves. Sorry, just venting girls. Sorry I gave you a book to read.

Pmpkn087 Posted: Oct 13, 2005 11:33 AM

Re: Small issue, just venting a little. its a bit long.

I think you are right. You could have told them that it was a private thing between the two of you and FH should not hide his ring from his parents. They are his parents, they should respect his beliefs even if it is not what they believe. I think that eventually, he has to wear his handfasting ring around them. He can't hide it for a whole year.

08/06 Posted: Oct 13, 2005 11:38 AM

Re: Small issue, just venting a little. its a bit long.

I do agree w/ you but sometimes I say why start an agruement today. Maybe he didn't feel like listening to their reactions or dealing w/ questions.

PegaLega Posted: Oct 13, 2005 01:35 PM

Re: Small issue, just venting a little. its a bit long.

I do agree with you-I think your look on it is true-how youll never get away if you dont confront them....BUT on the other hand-its easier not to have it 'in their face' as they would have probably seen it this way.

JMHO

babybug631 Posted: Oct 13, 2005 02:25 PM

Re: Small issue, just venting a little. its a bit long.

I know you have a lot of difficulty with his parents. And he probably just didn't feel like dealing with it at the time. But, you do need to tell them. I understand why you got upset. But, if there is one thing I've learned, it's to let him deal with his family in his own way. I've learned to stay out of my FH family problems. Let him deal with it. He still loves you and shares his beliefs with you. And when you cross that road when you have children, he'll have to deal with it then too. I have a feeling that that will be an even bigger problem. He'll confront them eventually, he's going to have too. Have patience. Don't make it a fight between the two of you. It's not worth it.

I'm not a very religious person, but I thank God that I don't have to deal with interfaith issues. I give all of you a lot of credit for being able to work things out, no matter how hard it is.