so...

my wedding is in 30 days and I am over wrought with emotions and worries and stress... I am so excited to finally be married to my FH... but I can't seem to get out the possible problems that can (and probably will) go wrong
ie. his mother creating a scene (she drinks a LOT and can't control herself - she has a tendency to get physical with those that try to control her 'bad behavior'),
his best man making a scene with my MOH - they had a little fling a while ago... but he can't be mature...
the list goes on...


What are the other ladies out there doing to get over this?! I am crying all the time - I'm so worried about all the work that my FH and I put into the day for it to go wrong... I don't know what to do! Any words of advice would be great to hear.

OK First and foremost,
Thats cause you shouldnt have to worry about this stuff. Secondly, please know that despite any ill-mannered boorish selfish attempts ANYONE might make to make your special day about THEM, there are MANY ways to pre-empt the drama.
Here's what I'm doing...

1) I've decided if they act out, its on THEM, and is not a reflection of me or FH. That's a little hard to 100% accept but it CAN be done.

Second, I have my bridal party ladies. They are AWESOME and I know they will react like GRIZZLY BEAR MAMAS who just had cubs if anyone starts anyone nonsense. So that's nice


Third, I'll be telling my photographer, video guy, the band and my BM who the likely troublesome ones are at my final meetings, and to please SHUT DOWN any crap from the start. They have my FULL authority to do whatever needs to be done short of physical violence to make it stop. They can decide to limit the offender's alcohol, even deem NO ALCOHOL if they're drunk and disorderly... and escalate it up to and including quiet ejection if necessary.


HTH and PLEASE dont lose your last few weeks of planning to this worry, try to think POSITIVELY and know that the people who love you are not going to let ANYTHING or ANYONE get to you on your beautiful wedding day!!!!

oooh, im sorry your so upset...
i think they should be fine being its your wedding day... they should respect you and you FH... did you try having a nice talk with all of them and tell them how much its upsetting you??

try and relax and maybe stop thinking about it.. i know its hard. and easier said than done.. i really hope you feel better!! i hate seeing brides so upset.. including myself

We are so sorry that you are upset!!! We are wishing that your wedding day will be beautiful.
These people that are involved in your wedding should respect the both of you and be on their best behavior. We are sorry that you have to go through this. People need to learn to behave. In the meantime think about the beautiful day that the two of you will have.

My Dad has been mostly sober for years but IMHO opinion has never gotten over mymother leaving him, so I was worried he would drink at the wedding, so what I did was have the parent dances immediately following the first dance. Then his responsibility was done and he could do what he wanted.
Another thing you could do is tip the bartenders ahead of time to water down her drinks, if she drinks mixed drinks. Mind games work best with alcoholics/drug addicts. If she gets out of control, have someone tell her there is a surprisefor the newlyweds that they need her help with and then when she is out of the crowd remove/confront her.
As for the BM and MOH, have her avoid him, keep her as far away as possible. Maybe have FH have his BM responsibilty talk with him and in an around about way tell him that it his responsibilty to make sure that any drama with anyone gets squashed immediately and that the 'bride' gets no wind of it.
In my experience with the people you described, if you confront them, they get defensive. But sometimes if you give them the responsibility, sometimes they will come thru. Good Luck and I hope it all works out for you.
In the end, nothing can ruin your day, you will still marry the man you love, even if a fist/cat fight breaks out. It is them that will be embarrased, not you.
Please don't fret or upset yourself. You can control the music, flowers and colors, but not people's actions. Focus your energy on the things that you CAN control.

Where have you been, girl?! I've missed you!!

First of all, here are some . I'm so sorry you've got this hanging over your head while anticipating what's supposed to be a very VERY happy day. The most important thing is that you alert people to this possible behavior so they can watch out for it and deal with it, so that you are never aware of it and it doesn't even affect your day, much less ruin it. Talk to your vendors and some close friends and have them be on the lookout. Tell FH to talk to his mom and tell her that he expects her to control herself - your wedding should be the tasteful celebration you planned, not some drunken free for all! This way, she knows that it's on your minds and will hopefully behave herself. If not, then at least you have other people looking out for you so that you can enjoy your wedding and not be worried.

If all else fails, brass knuckles are an excellent addition to bridal DOJ!!!

Welcome back date twin, I missed hearing all your good advise.

I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you. Please try to remember that although it is a very important day in your life, its just a party, it is not your life, or your marriage. The truly important part of that day is that you are marring the love of your life.

Everything always seems to work itself out. Usually when things go wrong the only people that even notice it are the Bride and Groom; guests are happily oblivious to all details you have painstakingly put into your day.

Guests are going to get drunk, and chances are stupid. But you can't worry yourself into a panic attack.

We are so close, 29 days to marry the man of our dreams and off to our honeymoon!

Good luck

ok, so I hate to break it to you, but no matter how much you worry about these things, whatever is going to happen is going to happen. You can't control what everyone else does. As long as you put key people (Best Man, MOH, Maitre D) on alert to these possibilities, your job is done. Just let it all go, and enjoy your last month of planning. It's totally natural to be more sensitive now, but don't let it ruin this time for you. You have more important things to do--like relax and enjoy your wedding!
HTH!

Please take it from someone who worried non-stop the last few weeks before her wedding-DON'T!! As others have said, people will do what they're going to do-you can't control that. But trust me, everyone else involved in your special day will help in keeping things under control.

I worried that my ex would ruin our day-even came close to calling the whole thing off. Two days before I was crying my eyes out worrying what would happen. The day before I realized all my friends were right and I should just relax and if anything did happen, they would take care of it immediately before I even realized anything happened.

Thankfully, nothing happened. But even if it had, I could kick myself for not enjoying my final weeks before the wedding. So please try to let it go, sweetie. I know it's hard, but your day will be fantastic no matter what!!