So Angry

So Angry

I have a bridesmaid that is a little heavier then the rest. I know she is trying to lose weight so I have given her an extra two months before we went to go dress shopping. All my other girls have ordered their dresses and gotten measureed. The place will not send the dresses out until ALL the girls are measured. I Have made at least 6 attempts to go with and every ime she has come up with an excuse why she can't go. The dresses need to be ordered by next week or else they will not come in on time to get altered. What do I do? Am I right for being angry?

Re: So Angry

Yes u have every right but dont worry to much dresses normally only take 2 months to come in. I asked because imin the same situation only we couldnt find a dress she liked & finally we just found one! YAY! So i now have to get the other girls dresses & all teh places said dont worry it usually only takes about 2 months to come in. So im looking to order them all by next week! Fingers crossed.

Re: So Angry

Have you tried to explain to her that she is holding up the rest of the girls getting their dresses? Just be honest with her - and tell her that you really need her to get sized for her dress. She might be nervous about you seeing her, so maybe she'd rather go alone. Just be honest about your position - she should understand. THT!

Re: So Angry

You do have a right to be angry. You have all the other girls who are working with you and one that is holding everything up. See if she is willing to get measured now and if she loses the weight when the dress comes in, have the dress altered.

Re: So Angry

I think you have every right to be angry, but just to let you know- I work at a bridal salon... the dresses take more than 2 months on average depending on the designer and most salons will ask for a rush charge if you wait to long... I would call your salon and ask when the LATEST is that you can order just for your own peace of mind. Good luck!

Re: So Angry

I just texted her and told that the place is just waiting for her in order to send them out. I sthat mean of me?

Re: So Angry

yes you have a right, i have the same problem with me sister, not because of the weight but her buying the dress. She is waiting till the last min. I just hope that the dresses dont become unaval. anymore then ill have a really big prob. we would have to order different dresses if that happens.

Re: So Angry

I will also tell you that in my experience, girls will have to drop significant weight in order to go down more than a size... just tell her that it is 100% easier to take the dress in and most salons cap alterations, so if she looses the weight, it won't cost her more. Be sympathetic at the same time as pushy - and stick to your guns!

Re: So Angry

I was in the same situation with one of my girls cancelling on me but just because she had better things to do or she had her period and didn't wan to be a bigger size and the list goes on and on. I finally told her how I felt, I told her what she was doing was hurting me and I really wanted her to be a part of my wedding and share in some of the things I am excited about. and her cancelling all the time makes me feel like she doesn't care. I think you should tell your friend exactly how you feel but stay calm about it and hopefully she will come around. My friend finally diid...we went for her dress today thank god. If your friend still gives you the run around after being nice about it then you gotta tell her how it really is. Good Luck!

Re: So Angry

you def have a right t obe angry...just reassure her that any weight she loses with be taken care of with alterations. it would probably be better for her to order the dress in her current size just in case she has some difficulty losing weight. this happened to me when i was in my sis in law bridal party. i lost weight before i ordered, then once they came in it was too tight...i didnt realize that i put the 10 pounds back on !! it is easier to take it in than out !! i think She would feel crappier if that happened jmo..

Re: So Angry

I don't think you're being out of line for being angry, and not even because of the weight issue, but just because by her actions she could jeopardize the dresses coming in on time for all the other girls as well. She needs to realize that her actions are not only causing you undue stress, but could potentially cause stress to the other BMs.

Re: So Angry

aww sorry about this

Re: So Angry

you have to tell her that either she goes and measures for the dress because it has to be in by a certain date... is the dress easily alterable ??

Re: So Angry

My sister is giving me simular greif...ya see...she's getting that gastric bypass sergery this Monday...so she doesn't want to try anything on until she's in her 'new' body... I don't blame her, but all in all, the dresses need to be ordered. My other sister is yelling at me for being too nice. Don't worry...you h ave plenty right to be angry. Before I knew my sis was getting this surgery, I had to change what dresses all my girls would be in just to suite HER needs...then I realized...WHOS wedding it was...and said, OK, this is the dress...this is the deadline...end of story. If you want to be in my wedding.... you need to put this on order....OY!

Re: So Angry

You definitely have the right to be upset, it seems like you want her in the wedding more than she wants to be in the wedding, I say you try one more time to take her, if she makes up another excuse, sit down and talk with her, ask her if theres a reason she doesn't want to go, and if she feels too self conscious to be in the wedding that you will not feel hurt, her comfort is as important as the rest of the bridal party. good luck