so does $ stress anyone else out?

lately FH and I have been fighting and fighting bc of $.

We've been together forever and living together just as long. We have a house and lately every $ has been going to the house.

I was cut 20% of my salary for a year and during that tie, we had to use our wedding savings so this house stuff is not helping build it back up.

Plus, at this point with the fighting, who wants to plan a wedding? I wanna run away. :(

anyone else feel like this?

YES YES AND YES!

Money totally stresses me out on a daily basis, to the point where I overanalyze buying a freaking cup of coffee and FH gets pizzed about it. Our car died this weekend too, so we had to get a new one and I was pretty much having an anxiety attack signing the papers because of money. I really wish I didn't have to have this big wedding and that I could have done it my way and just had a small affair. Its not even fun anymore So I totally know how you feel. Feel free to FM if you want to vent

I try not to argue too much about money with FH (big part of the reason my mom and dad separated). Sure we both stress about it, but when a discussion needs to be had concerning money we both agree to just talk and not let things escalate. If I feel a fight coming on about I just tell him let's end it right now and talk about it later.

We are both pretty good with out money though and I am very organized with the budget for the wedding so we don't worry a whole lot but trust me there are those moments when I stop and think about it and I get that knot in my chest about it.

I totally understand.

I want to have a small wedding, but we have huge families and it is just not going to happen.

I want to throw up everytime I think about how much this wedding is costing

Just keep reminding yourself that your marriage is something worth celebrating

I get serious anxiety over money!!!!!

FH and I had an argument a few months ago because he's a financial advisor but he has no concept of how expensive it is to live!!! I was annoyed because I bust my a** working 2 jobs and he works 1 job and is on a bowling league 2 nights a week W*T*F! I sat down and wrote out all the expenses we have coming up and it finally clicked in his thick head! He quit one night of bowling

I get stressed when I think about it...I really need a raise! i have been considering a second job, not sure what I can do though.

Hopefully the money starts adding up, and we have enough for the wedding!

I'm such a downer lately. sigh....

I just cant bring myself to give Land's End $1000 when I don't have a freaking stove. We stopped kitchen renovations to do the cesspool. ugh..

Money definitely stresses me out but I don't find it productive to fight over it. It ruins your relationship and doesn't create more money.

Its just something you have to work through and deal with.

I'm sorry you're going through that

i got over the stress about money a few months ago then my mom talked to me a couple of weeks ago about how we should save our money b/c this is a one day affair and all that stuff - which got me stressed out all over again

sometimes I just feel like everyone is so excited and happy except for me. ya know?

plus FH and I are basically married. Having a wedding will be fun, but it's not like this was out of the blue. We always knew we'd be married. His whole family says we are.

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Posted by allornil


sometimes I just feel like everyone is so excited and happy except for me. ya know?

plus FH and I are basically married. Having a wedding will be fun, but it's not like this was out of the blue. We always knew we'd be married. His whole family says we are.

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Since you feel this way, and a big wedding isn't important to you, could you make some cuts and change things? Have a small wedding at a nice restaurant or something. Land's End is EXPENSIVE! If the wedding part isn't important to you, I would do something very small.

Or make some downgrades, cuts where you can. You have plenty of time right now also. Just save a little for the wedding now, and spend most of your money now on the house. At least you have a house! It is going to be such a struggle for us to get it. We are moving into the apt at my parents house to save for a house.

It's tough, but if you are this miserable about planning this huge, expensive wedding that you dont seem to really want, I would change it. Life is too short to be miserable! Good luck

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Posted by jackieee

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Posted by allornil


sometimes I just feel like everyone is so excited and happy except for me. ya know?

plus FH and I are basically married. Having a wedding will be fun, but it's not like this was out of the blue. We always knew we'd be married. His whole family says we are.

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Since you feel this way, and a big wedding isn't important to you, could you make some cuts and change things? Have a small wedding at a nice restaurant or something. Land's End is EXPENSIVE! If the wedding part isn't important to you, I would do something very small.

Or make some downgrades, cuts where you can. You have plenty of time right now also. Just save a little for the wedding now, and spend most of your money now on the house. At least you have a house! It is going to be such a struggle for us to get it. We are moving into the apt at my parents house to save for a house.

It's tough, but if you are this miserable about planning this huge, expensive wedding that you dont seem to really want, I would change it. Life is too short to be miserable! Good luck

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Sigh. FH ONLY wants land's End. It's 110 pp sunday afternoon. 140 guaranteed.

Its not the thought of the $ then..its now, bc of the cesspool and the window and the kitchen. I really hate owning a house sometimes. I wanna spend $ on fun stuff for once.

having a house *****. wait until you have no heat in feb, a pipe bursts, your elec starts a fire..yeah love it.

I don't want a wedding at all really. he does. his huge family does and i wanna just run away. and no a destination wedding is out. I'm sure once we really start planning it will be easier. we'll get some $ from our families but i don't feel comfortable asking mine or expecting it. they do everything for me.

I just want one month to go by with no huge expenses ya know.

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by jackieee

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Posted by allornil


sometimes I just feel like everyone is so excited and happy except for me. ya know?

plus FH and I are basically married. Having a wedding will be fun, but it's not like this was out of the blue. We always knew we'd be married. His whole family says we are.

---

Since you feel this way, and a big wedding isn't important to you, could you make some cuts and change things? Have a small wedding at a nice restaurant or something. Land's End is EXPENSIVE! If the wedding part isn't important to you, I would do something very small.

Or make some downgrades, cuts where you can. You have plenty of time right now also. Just save a little for the wedding now, and spend most of your money now on the house. At least you have a house! It is going to be such a struggle for us to get it. We are moving into the apt at my parents house to save for a house.

It's tough, but if you are this miserable about planning this huge, expensive wedding that you dont seem to really want, I would change it. Life is too short to be miserable! Good luck

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Sigh. FH ONLY wants land's End. It's 110 pp sunday afternoon. 140 guaranteed.

Its not the thought of the $ then..its now, bc of the cesspool and the window and the kitchen. I really hate owning a house sometimes. I wanna spend $ on fun stuff for once.

having a house *****. wait until you have no heat in feb, a pipe bursts, your elec starts a fire..yeah love it.

I don't want a wedding at all really. he does. his huge family does and i wanna just run away. and no a destination wedding is out. I'm sure once we really start planning it will be easier. we'll get some $ from our families but i don't feel comfortable asking mine or expecting it. they do everything for me.

I just want one month to go by with no huge expenses ya know.

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That really s ucks that he won't compromise. I understand a house is a huge expense, but I would take that over renting. And we dont have heat a lot lol, or we have heat blasting in April In the end, you will see how amazing it is to OWN your own home, but I can imagine it;'s just one big expense after another.

Can you ask Land's End if you can put off payments for now until it gets close? You have so much time. At least now you could focus on the house and wait a little for the wedding. If FH's family wants the big wedding, they should help pay since you dont even want it. ughhhh sorry

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Posted by jackieee

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by jackieee

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Posted by allornil


sometimes I just feel like everyone is so excited and happy except for me. ya know?

plus FH and I are basically married. Having a wedding will be fun, but it's not like this was out of the blue. We always knew we'd be married. His whole family says we are.

---

Since you feel this way, and a big wedding isn't important to you, could you make some cuts and change things? Have a small wedding at a nice restaurant or something. Land's End is EXPENSIVE! If the wedding part isn't important to you, I would do something very small.

Or make some downgrades, cuts where you can. You have plenty of time right now also. Just save a little for the wedding now, and spend most of your money now on the house. At least you have a house! It is going to be such a struggle for us to get it. We are moving into the apt at my parents house to save for a house.

It's tough, but if you are this miserable about planning this huge, expensive wedding that you dont seem to really want, I would change it. Life is too short to be miserable! Good luck

---

Sigh. FH ONLY wants land's End. It's 110 pp sunday afternoon. 140 guaranteed.

Its not the thought of the $ then..its now, bc of the cesspool and the window and the kitchen. I really hate owning a house sometimes. I wanna spend $ on fun stuff for once.

having a house *****. wait until you have no heat in feb, a pipe bursts, your elec starts a fire..yeah love it.

I don't want a wedding at all really. he does. his huge family does and i wanna just run away. and no a destination wedding is out. I'm sure once we really start planning it will be easier. we'll get some $ from our families but i don't feel comfortable asking mine or expecting it. they do everything for me.

I just want one month to go by with no huge expenses ya know.

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That really s ucks that he won't compromise. I understand a house is a huge expense, but I would take that over renting. And we dont have heat a lot lol, or we have heat blasting in April In the end, you will see how amazing it is to OWN your own home, but I can imagine it;'s just one big expense after another.

Can you ask Land's End if you can put off payments for now until it gets close? You have so much time. At least now you could focus on the house and wait a little for the wedding. If FH's family wants the big wedding, they should help pay since you dont even want it. ughhhh sorry

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Id only have to give them $1000 and not pay until october. I could do that but i'm terrified I'll need that $. sigh..

I told FH I'd book it in june so we'll see. maybe june will be an amazing month.

Truthfully, I'd probably have booked this already is anyone actually offered to help us or, if FH wasn't such a jerk about everything lately.

Well, I haven't booked anything yet...so I haven't really had a chance to get stressed just yet. But I am sure once I do I will be having panic attacks. I'm sure it is COMPLETELY normal!

Thankfully when i was about 23 (28 now) I knew i wanted a HUGE wedding, so i started saving back then, little by little, since i had no wedding plans but i knew i wouldn't be stressed and it wasn't going to hurt me as much and my parents were not paying anything for the wedding. and i am so happy i did that becuase it has SURELYYYYYYY helped alot. God willing i still have my job and dont need to go into my savings i will be good, i actually saved all the wedding money on my own not using FH's help....

so any LURKERSSSS out there who are not even engaged, SAVE SAVE SAVE it really takes the pressure off of you later on..

and those who are fortunate enough to have their parents pay for the wedding OR even help OUT WITH SOME $$$. YOU GIRLS ARE SUPPERRRR LUCKY!

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Posted by allornil

lately FH and I have been fighting and fighting bc of $.

We've been together forever and living together just as long. We have a house and lately every $ has been going to the house.

I was cut 20% of my salary for a year and during that tie, we had to use our wedding savings so this house stuff is not helping build it back up.

Plus, at this point with the fighting, who wants to plan a wedding? I wanna run away. :(

anyone else feel like this?

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$ is always stressful especially when you have less of it that you need! When FH and I started planning our wedding I was figuring out some figures and started freaking out saying this would never be possible! We have it all set now so its better but I still stress out cause we don't have a big savings yet so that makes me nervous. I also had my hours cut at my job so that def didnt help

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Posted by DCgirl82

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Posted by allornil

lately FH and I have been fighting and fighting bc of $.

We've been together forever and living together just as long. We have a house and lately every $ has been going to the house.

I was cut 20% of my salary for a year and during that tie, we had to use our wedding savings so this house stuff is not helping build it back up.

Plus, at this point with the fighting, who wants to plan a wedding? I wanna run away. :(

anyone else feel like this?

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$ is always stressful especially when you have less of it that you need! When FH and I started planning our wedding I was figuring out some figures and started freaking out saying this would never be possible! We have it all set now so its better but I still stress out cause we don't have a big savings yet so that makes me nervous. I also had my hours cut at my job so that def didnt help

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that was why i stopped planning last year. 20% of my salary cut. worst feeling ever.