So frustrated

KDNY133 Posted: Oct 12, 2011 09:48 AM

So frustrated

My FH guest list is getting me down. We don't have much contact with his family and are having a litle stress. With inviting 1 cousin comes 5 cousins and so on. When the guest starts to consist of about 30 people who have no bearing in my life you kinda wonder whats the point to all this....so freaked out

CaughtMyFish Posted: Oct 12, 2011 10:23 AM

Re: So frustrated

and? What do you plan to do about it?

For us, we cant cut parents relatives off easily but our guest list is over 240 right now. If you have to cut it down, use the 'budget constraint' line, esp if you are paying for most of the costs.

ourwedding9510 Posted: Oct 12, 2011 10:37 AM

Re: So frustrated

Crashing...

I had this problem with DH's family. The way to avoid the problems (well kinda) was that we limited each side of the family to 100 people. I sat down with his parents and when they tried to go over 100 I told them that's not ok and that I wasn't even inviting people I hang out with that are cousins because the guest list just doesn't allow that.

The most important thing is that you aren't going to please everyone. Inviting this person because of this person makes a 100 person wedding into a 250 person wedding. When people asked I just simply said 'we are limited to how many people we can invite and we just couldn't invite everyone'.

KDNY133 Posted: Oct 12, 2011 10:59 AM

Re: So frustrated

Im just going to have to talk to him. I know that some invites come out of respect but when we have a minimum im getting nervous about even trying to get a head count. He says that 20 probably wont show so where does that leave me with my head count. Do i invite 20 more on my side?? What if they show then i go way over?? This is more my stress. I dont want to go under the minimum and pay for those plates but also dont want to go way over board. This is going to be the most stressful part for me.

pixietina Posted: Oct 12, 2011 11:02 AM

Re: So frustrated

I wouldn't worry about being under the minimum. If you need seat fillers there are plenty of brides here that would not mind helping out with that. Also some places with give you some extra upgrades if you are below your minimum.

LBUDA Posted: Oct 12, 2011 12:43 PM

Re: So frustrated

Posted by KDNY133

Im just going to have to talk to him. I know that some invites come out of respect but when we have a minimum im getting nervous about even trying to get a head count. He says that 20 probably wont show so where does that leave me with my head count. Do i invite 20 more on my side?? What if they show then i go way over?? This is more my stress. I dont want to go under the minimum and pay for those plates but also dont want to go way over board. This is going to be the most stressful part for me.

Personally, I would save face and just invite them. If they barely speak, your chances of them not attending are high. I also would not worry about meeting the minimum....maybe your venue can cound the vendor plates towards your minimum if need be.