So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

If this is what I can look forward to for the next two year..... I will lose my mind.

We have our engagement party this weekend, so i was asking my moms help (she is in FL so its over the phone) on her advice on how to package the favors.

So we start talking, and she starts telling me how ridiculous it is that we are planning this huge wedding, and its stupid to spend that kind of money when you can just go to the justice of the peace or fly to vegas, and there is no point in spending that much for the benefit of other people, and cant you just have the reception at the community center and have people bring food like a pot luck.

I am afraid to tell her we booked, I dont want to hear the lecture or get yelled at for 'throwing away money'

FMIL on the other hand is ecstatic over the hall, what we are getting, my dress, how good a deal we are getting, etc.

I am so frustrated and depressed right now it makes me want to cry. Yes, we will have to pay for the wedding ourselves, but if recent purchases are any indication, we could do this for 15k or so with careful planning and no extras
Granted, its a lot for 2 students, but we want more than run to the justice of the peace, no party, no nothing.

Is it so wrong of me to want the wedding I dreamed of as a 4 year old girl who sat there picking her wedding colors and playing with flower arrangements?

Sorry to vent girls, I am just so frustrated its not even funny right now

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

I feel for you. Just remember, you can't make everyone happy - and that includes your mother. Everyone is going to have their own opinion on what you should or shouldn't be doing. Do what YOU and FH want and think is right. If I onlyl told you what my mother said, oh boy, you wouldn't think what your mother said was bad at all. At this point, we're not on speaking terms. I can't tell you this enough - do what YOU feel is right.

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

I hate saying this, cause she is my mother, but she has gone so far as to tell me if someone better comes along, even though I love FH, dont be afraid to go after it and do whats best for me

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

Your mom is probably looking out for your best interests given the circumstances that you are in fact 2 students but truth be told, this IS your and FH's decision and your decision ALONE to ultimately make. FH and I have been together for 8 YEARS next month....we've talked many times about Justice of the Peace, Vegas, etc. It all sounded like a good way to just do it; quick and cheap. But like you, I've dreamed of that big wedding my whole life! I don't want to wake up in 20 years from now wishing I had done things differently. A girl's wedding day is the one day in her life when she is a princess and if thats what she wants, then she deserves it! Where there's a will, there's a way.

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Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

We've got a good group of ladies here - Well said by all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

We ROCK!!!

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

I was going through something similair with my parents, along the lines of 'if something better comes along take it' and 'why waste your life and money on something like this.' It really stinks to be going thorugh it, just give it time though for your mom to comes to terms with all of this, maybe its happening too fast for her and she is reacting in a negative way towards you for it....She is your mother and she should understand that if this is what you think is best for you and that you and FH are meant to be together and you both want to have a nice wedding at a hall and not a VFW then so be it. Definately give it more time before her attitude towards this changes and if it doesnt, try having a talk with her about it and tell her how much she is hurting you...thats what I did with my mother and it helped a great deal. ALso just try to take what she says with a grain of salt, yes she is your mom and you probably really care about what she has to say but this is your life, she cant tell you how to live it.

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

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Posted by SparklingBride10

We ROCK!!!

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yess wee doo haa its fridayy-- lets just have a drink------


haa -- to our psycho families & our perfect wedding in the making!!!!!!

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Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

I will toast to that.

Thanks girls.

When i got home last night I was close to tears. I mean, she is on the other side of the country, and it makes me feel like a heal when she starts in on it.

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Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

Re: So frustrated at my mother I want to cry

First, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Secondly, there is always someone who is negative about your wedding choices. In order to avoide feeling hurt again, I would refrain from asking your mom for wedding advice. You are being very smart about the wedding by planning so far in advance, it gives you time to research, negotiate, and save. At the end of the day, what matters is that you are doing what makes you and fh happy....that's what weddings should be about.