FSIL called me last night to tell me about an upcoming bridal expo in my area. I went ahead and registered, saying I would be bringing two guests. My FSIL will be one of my guests and I am entertaining the idea of FMIL being the other.
Aside of all the 'issues' w/ FMIL (she is still PO'd over Christmas) I hope me including her in this will smooth things out a bit. I really think that my FMIL is just out of date when it comes to weddings. The last wedding she attended was her son's 16 years ago!!!!! I am hoping that going to this bridal expo will get her up to date on how weddings are planned now, and help stop the 'lectures' on how FH and I are planning our day.
Update: So I called the FMIL to invite her to attend the bridal expo, and guess what??? She told me 'she's not interested.' Isn't that nice. I think I'm done
bella1028
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Re: So I am going to be brave
great idea...it can get her up to speed with the way things are these days...and it is a nice way to include her
smplynluv
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Re: So I am going to be brave
I think its a great idea. Although I don't always get along with fh's family, I want to at least keep things 'smooth'. So, I think you taking the initiative to get her somewhat involved (even if it pains you) might open her eyes in more than one way. Hopefully she won't be stubborn about it
AndRecKy
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Re: So I am going to be brave
i say go for it!
RKellner
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Sounds like a good idea! Hopefully she doesnt ruin it for you though.... I hope it all works out... Maybe she does just feel a little left out...
KK Holiday
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Re: So I am going to be brave
its so great of you to include her! sometimes its hard to get FH's family involved in stuff. be brave. maybe this is the first step to a better relationship with his family!
mRm2008
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Re: So I am going to be brave
Yes I am doing this! LOL
The 'whole' family relationship is fine its only FMIL that always finds an issue about something.
I am not worried about her being a pain at the expo because I have the majority of my vendors and plans are made. Its just a nice day out to see some more wedding stuff (like you can ever see too much)!!!!
megzzie
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Re: So I am going to be brave
I think that;s a great idea
jeffamanda080808
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I think you are a better person then I am!!!!
dannisayz
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Re: So I am going to be brave
What issues do you have with your FMIL? I don't think I saw your post (I haven't been on the boards much until recently).
mRm2008
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Posted by jeffamanda080808
I think you are a better person then I am!!!!
i am trying to be that person ITS DAMN HARD give me strength
mRm2008
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oh gosh let me dig it up for you
mRm2008
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Posted by dannisayz
What issues do you have with your FMIL? I don't think I saw your post (I haven't been on the boards much until recently).
I think that it is a great idea. After your christmas time fiasco with her, it would be nice to extend 'the olive branch' and you will make FH happy too. He will see you making the effort, even if FMIL isnt doing the same.
dannisayz
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Re: So I am going to be brave
Posted by mRm2008
Posted by dannisayz
What issues do you have with your FMIL? I don't think I saw your post (I haven't been on the boards much until recently).
Wow. I've had my issues with my FMIL, so I offer you my sincere sympathy. You mentioned that she doesn't understand current wedding practices. Would you mind elaborating?
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: So I am going to be brave
MY fmil could care less what we do!!!! I told FH that I'm tired of trying to include her only to be met by silence.
I think we have a tendency to blame ourselves when other people treat us a certain way but, honestly, there are some really stupid and/or sick people out there. I truly believe that these people can't stand to see anyone happy because they are miserable -- and they will do anything to muck up a happy occasion.
My advice -- include her but if she starts her crap, then begin to seperate yourself and don't let her ruin your planning or your actual wedding day.
mRm2008
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Re: So I am going to be brave
Posted by dannisayz
Posted by mRm2008
Posted by dannisayz
What issues do you have with your FMIL? I don't think I saw your post (I haven't been on the boards much until recently).
Wow. I've had my issues with my FMIL, so I offer you my sincere sympathy. You mentioned that she doesn't understand current wedding practices. Would you mind elaborating?
My FIL's do not have very good relations with their own families (brothers/sisters/cousins). I am serious when I say that they have not attended a wedding since their other son was married 16 years ago. They have been invited to a few in the last ten years (according to my FH) but they always had a 'reason' to not attend. I have a very large extended family, and we probably have 3-5 weddings a year that most all attend (even my 78 year old Nana)!!!
When my FH and I announced our engagement to his family, almost the first thing the FIL's asked was what they would be responsible for $$ wise. When I tried to explain the traditional things the groom's family would pay for they were lost. FMIL kept asking about the 'Bachelor's dinner' and where we wanted to have that. I had to tell her she meant the rehearsal dinner. LOL Don't think she would want to pay for the entertainment and dinner of her son's 'bachelor dinner'
mRm2008
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Re: So I am going to be brave
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
MY fmil could care less what we do!!!! I told FH that I'm tired of trying to include her only to be met by silence.
I think we have a tendency to blame ourselves when other people treat us a certain way but, honestly, there are some really stupid and/or sick people out there. I truly believe that these people can't stand to see anyone happy because they are miserable -- and they will do anything to muck up a happy occasion.
My advice -- include her but if she starts her crap, then begin to seperate yourself and don't let her ruin your planning or your actual wedding day.
I absolutely agree with you. I feel sorry for her because of the choices she makes and how it pushes people away. She is isolating herself from people who TRY to care for her.
dannisayz
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Re: So I am going to be brave
Posted by mRm2008
Posted by dannisayz
Posted by mRm2008
Posted by dannisayz
What issues do you have with your FMIL? I don't think I saw your post (I haven't been on the boards much until recently).
Wow. I've had my issues with my FMIL, so I offer you my sincere sympathy. You mentioned that she doesn't understand current wedding practices. Would you mind elaborating?
My FIL's do not have very good relations with their own families (brothers/sisters/cousins). I am serious when I say that they have not attended a wedding since their other son was married 16 years ago. They have been invited to a few in the last ten years (according to my FH) but they always had a 'reason' to not attend. I have a very large extended family, and we probably have 3-5 weddings a year that most all attend (even my 78 year old Nana)!!!
When my FH and I announced our engagement to his family, almost the first thing the FIL's asked was what they would be responsible for $$ wise. When I tried to explain the traditional things the groom's family would pay for they were lost. FMIL kept asking about the 'Bachelor's dinner' and where we wanted to have that. I had to tell her she meant the rehearsal dinner. LOL Don't think she would want to pay for the entertainment and dinner of her son's 'bachelor dinner'
Wow. I think that those are the only words for your situation. I think the only thing that annoys me about my FMIL is the fact that she treats my FH like her own husband! She's been divorced from my FH father since he was 8 years old and has never remarried. The things she asks him/has him do drive me up a wall sometimes.
mRm2008
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Re: So I am going to be brave
Posted by mRm2008
FSIL called me last night to tell me about an upcoming bridal expo in my area. I went ahead and registered, saying I would be bringing two guests. My FSIL will be one of my guests and I am entertaining the idea of FMIL being the other.
Aside of all the 'issues' w/ FMIL (she is still PO'd over Christmas) I hope me including her in this will smooth things out a bit. I really think that my FMIL is just out of date when it comes to weddings. The last wedding she attended was her son's 16 years ago!!!!! I am hoping that going to this bridal expo will get her up to date on how weddings are planned now, and help stop the 'lectures' on how FH and I are planning our day.
